This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
I had ongoing chronic breakouts around my mouth, (never had a cold sore in my life to that point, nothing more than bad chapped lips) these breakouts would itch burn, feel moist then after weeks dry out then come back more severe. my eyes were also irritated. At the time I also felt vaginal pain for weeks. Didn't think anything about it because I have been with 2 men in the past 37 years both of whom I was married to, the first 4 years and he was a virgin. In 2000 my husband admited to kissing a co worker. Everyone said don't be a fool it was more, I sincerely loved and believed in my husbands fidelit being blinded by love, ha ha. In 2003 I noticed he had a pimple like bump around the rim of the penis. When I mentioned it he said yes it hurt and was irritating I said it looked like maybe herpes and then argued and accused him of more than just a kiss. Blindly I believed again and just let it go as he said he went to the docotr and he gave him an ointment and that was that. After never having a cold sore in my life I started having repeated and long lasted irritated lips, burning, itching oozing then drying and repeat. My eyes also were irritated watery, itcy burning, red and swollen. Again I thought bad chapped lips, lived in AZ and allergy eyes never even considering hepes.I then noticed I had a vaginal irritation pain and burning around one of the episodes. After a year of my mouth soreness I went to a derm who gave me a diagnosis of contact dermatitus and sent me away with ointment and soap. Helped get rid of it but reoccured. I started looking at the internet and found herpes symptoms then got tested. Blood test said positive for both 1 & 2. Confronted my husband he admitted having a full blown affair. This girl was an x drug addict as well. He got tested and said it was negative, same physicans. I have been emotionally dying not understanding how I can have it never being unfaithful and he was and was negative. I have RA and other stress related immune diseases. He came up with Sjogerns at same time as testing. Any relation, how is this possible, I feel betrayed destroyed and frankly living with this and the outbreaks is too much for me to continue dealing with. More than anything else the fact that fidelity was the most important thing to me in a relationship for the physical and emotional safety of both partners and he knew this before we married. If I had known originally I would have left but I believed him and stayed, finding this all out 7 years later. It has now eaten away at me till I have no relationship and no hope, please help me to understand as I can;t.
Thanks I will try we are now living in different states, will try and get my results sent to me, is it a good idea to just get retested anyway? But still if I'm positive and he's not I need to know how this could have happened. Is it true that during an initial breakout one can be experiencing headaches, low energy, low grade fever along with outbreak? He has been on a intense regimin of health food, vitamins, accupunture, chinese herbs and indian medicine and was allways extremely healthy before his recent diagnosis of prostrate cancer, could all this immune support therapy be keeping him fom outbreaks and positive results, it has worked to lower his psa to avoid treatment to date. Original diagnosis was about 1 month after seeing possible herpes breakout. His healthcare regiimen was started after that so maybe he assisted himself in eliminating visual symptoms and physical symptoms of herpes too.I just can't accept that I have them he doesn't when he cheated and hopped back in my bed I ended up with it well he would have been exposed by me back to him so shouldn't he then test positive unless all that healthy stuff can alter the results? Thanks for your willingness to help I must have answers before I can go on. Sorry for the drama but I take my vows seriously. Thank you for caring this is my only hope to understand it all before I do something that can't be undone Thank you sincerely, any sites that could explain this contradiction to me.
You know when you stated" I noticed he had a pimple like bump around the rim of the penis" This is all the proof you need to believe that he did in fact have herpes and pass it to you.I had a similar situation with my fiance.I first began to have painful little vaginal bumps when I was six months pregnant.Prior to being with him I had never before had experienced this. When I asked him to get tested he went to a local STD Clinic. His test came out negative however something made me ask the nurse if they checked for herpes and she said no that that test was too expensive and that he would have to go to a private clinic and with visible symptoms for them to take that test. So I never really received clarification from the Dr. whether he did or did not,However I knew in my heart that I never had It before him nor did I have symptoms, so the only logical explanation was that he gave it to me! Plain an simple.
Thanks sure sounds similar, my husband just went to our primary and did a quick test probably wasn't expensive since it is hmo, but I know in my heart and mind I had no other way of getting it. Since his affair he has come down with several auto immune problems including prostrate cancer, shogrens syndrom (syndrome) and RA, maybe they are related or not maybe bad karma. Wish you well.
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