Possible herpes exposure

I recently had sex with a woman, and before sex I asked her if she was clean and stated that I had recently been tested and came back negative. She said she hadnt had sex in a year and that she didnt have anything.

I had unprotected oral sex & protected sex with her (using a condom), It WASNT very rigorous sex and I ejaculated within 5 minutes. Out of paranoia and OCD, I normally use the bathroom after sex and wash my penis and urinate (which I did). When I was in her bathroom I noticed in her medicine cabinet she had a bottle that was marked "valacyclovir" which I didnt think twice about until I got home, googled and it came up as valtrex. I immediately contacted her by text message about why she was taking that, she called me and told me she didnt expect to have this conversation. She said she had genital HSV1 and has had it for over 10 years, and she didnt even think to tell me because she hasnt had an outbreak in 4 years. She said shes had many longterm sexual partners who have never contracted it from her and in her words she "cannot" spread it.

She said her outbreak was only on her anus when she had it, and uses the valtrex to deal with itching and burning she gets on her anus (she says she has never had it in/on her vagina) I may have had contact with the exposed parts of my penis and scrotum with her genitals. I have had cold sores in the past on my mouth and tested positive for HSV1 and negative for HSV2 as early as 2 months ago. She assures me that I wont get anything. When I got home, I immediately showered and used vinegar & rubbing alcohol in my genital area.

How worried should I be? this happened last night and Ive had a rough night of sleep thinking about this.
I figure if she'd lie about having genital HSV1 , its possible she'd lie about actually having HSV2 since HSV1 sounds more common....

[gracefromHHP]

you are at no risk at all for her hsv1 genitally then.

if you are doubting her honesty about which type she has, you need to wait 3 months after the encounter for type specific herpes igg blood testing.

did you let her know that you have hsv1 orally when you had your "talk" prior to sex?

grace

[joenicks]

Id like to add that she did not have any obvious blisters

[joenicks]

Im definitely going to a doctor , Im just wondering how worried should I be? Im having a hard time sleeping, the anxiety is making me not want to partake in my daily activities

[gracefromHHP]

well this gal is a trifle under educated about her herpes but that said, you are incredibly unlikely to have contracted hsv1 from her. Hsv1 genitally doesn't shed much at all and the odds of you having contracted it are miniscule.

have you ever been tested for herpes before to know your status?  statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you know has hsv1 - it's incredibly common.

grace

[joenicks]

Yeah I was tested about 3 months back and it came back positive for HSV 1 ...but Ive had cold sores since I was a kid,  and Ive heard 90% of the population has that

what are the chances of contracting HSV2 if she is lying about having HSV1?

[gracefromHHP]

you are at no risk at all for her hsv1 genitally then.

if you are doubting her honesty about which type she has, you need to wait 3 months after the encounter for type specific herpes igg blood testing.

did you let her know that you have hsv1 orally when you had your "talk" prior to sex?

grace

[joenicks]

if she did have HSV2 , symptoms would start to appear soon I guess? should I watch out for flu like symptoms and the areas in which I may have been exposed?

I did not tell her I had hsv1, but when I asked her if she was clean she told me she had chlamydia 10 years ago ...and later when I confronted her about the valtrex she told me she didnt tell me about it initially because she doesnt think about it, and it happened so long ago

If its something she takes daily, its definitely something she thinks about....if she remembers a case of chlamydia, she should remember this?

Im so anxious :(

[gracefromHHP]

a one time protected encounter is very low risk for hsv2.  

[joenicks]

I appreciate the responses more than you can imagine grace!

if I do have oral HSV1 would I still get HSV2 outbreaks 2-20 days from the exposure time?

& I had a wisdom tooth pulled out last week, its mostly healed but would that put me at greater risk for oral HSV2 ??

[gracefromHHP]

not any reason to think you'd be at higher risk of hsv2 orally.

yes, time frame is still the same.

[joenicks]

Would my washing up after intercourse have made any difference?

PS, Ive been reading this forum since 5am, hope your garden is coming along well :)

[gracefromHHP]

just makes you smell better to wash up after sex.

[joenicks]

Is it possible that I wont have any signs or symptoms within 3 weeks even if I have contracted HSV2 ?

[Hochee]

Could be, the symptoms can show anytime after 2 days from exposure, and as late as 30 days. However most sites and experts agree the majority of people have symptoms between 2-14 days... but as late as 20. That said, Grace told me the average is 5 1/2 days for symptoms.

All you can do is wait, and watch. Of course, watching is defined as once or twice a day checking, not every 30 minutes like I obsessively did.

Best of luck.

[joenicks]

Im just as obsessive as you, Ive been nauseous all day at the possibility...I have kidney problems as it is and this would be an additional headache to deal with

the woman is not returning my phone calls now...its gonna be a long 90 days

do first exposures ALWAYS have symptoms?

[gracefromHHP]

the majority do but sometimes they are rather vague and easy to not associate with herpes. typically the folks here in the forums are so obsessively watching their genital areas that they don't fall into that category of missing symptoms.

[joenicks]

I definitely fall into that category haha...So after 20 days and I dont see a spot, should that ease my concerns?
I will still conduct a herpes blood test in 3 months to make sure of course

Im just worried that if Im sexually active that I could spread it unknowingly. should I abstain from sex?

[gracefromHHP]

my advice always is - call off the crotch watch - it's not worth it!

talk to your partners and let them know that you are waiting to finish your full std screening from a prior partner and decide together what to do.

[joenicks]

haha noted
but based off my information, you personally think I dont have anything to worry about?

[joenicks]

I performed light oral sex on her, what are the chances of me contracting HSV2 from her on myself (orally) if she does have it and not HSV1

[gracefromHHP]

already answered that!

[joenicks]

I have a cold sore on my upper lip that started appearing this evening, should I be concerned? Its in the middle of my upper lip and Ive never had a sore there before

[Mistakeguy789]

You have a history of cold sores.  So I would say nothing to worry about.  

[slacker101]

I think the obvious lesson here for you joe and everyone is asking someone if they are clean PROBABLY won't yield an honest answer especially if that person wants sex. Next time you ask someone, don't believe him/her and cover up PERIOD. As far as yourself, you are fine.

[joenicks]

Ok I just woke up, and I took a look at my crotch area...about an inch and a half above my penis there is a little red mark , its hard to see because its under my pubic hair (which is short) but its a red mark

I spoke with the woman who I had exposure to and she said she would do a STD test and show me

Is this worrying?

[Mistakeguy789]

I think you already know the answer to that.  I think we have given you the best advice we can give you at this point.  You either need to move on and take your blood test at 3 months or you need to see your provider for things like this.  

[joenicks]

I went to my hospital clinic and a doctor and nurse checked me out, she said she was 110% sure its an ingrown hair....hell of a time for an ingrown hair to come up though

Thank you for easing my concerns, I feel more like I actually havent gotten anything but I will still take the test in 3 months to be certain

[joenicks]

I have a question about outbreaks,
do initial outbreaks only happen on the areas exposed to the other partner? for instance, could there be an outbreak on the underside of the scrotum if it never was exposed to an infected partner?

[gracefromHHP]

ob's can be anywhere in the entire boxer short area.

[joenicks]

An update, I woke up yesterday morning with an itchy bump in the area between my inner thigh near the scrotum, I couldnt see if because of hair so I shaved the the immediate area to get a better look, after that I exercised and went on with my day

today I woke up with more itch in the area and red spots..the clinic is closed so the hospital service told me to go to the ER, the attending doctor said it didnt look like herpes lesions, after asking the other doctors he decided not to prescribe anti viral medication ...he told me to follow up with the clinic during the week and come back if anything worsens

[Mistakeguy789]

You are overaly thinking this.  Bumps can be anything and really you may not even notice them in the past.  The fact is she told you she had HSV-1.  You have HSV-1 already.  The risk of getting it in a new location is really low.  You need to stop worrying about herpes.  

[joenicks]

So the area below my initial "ingrown hair" that developed 2 days after exposure had a little red area irritated about a half inch in diameter...it appeared 3 days ago and a day after it appeared I went to my std clinic where a doctor said it was irritated hair follicles & that I had nothing to worry about, but this is the 3rd different irritated area ive had within these 2 weeks, Ive had no ulcers or pus but Im still concerned

today I noticed one of the follicles in the red area has bubbled a little, this is concerning me...I know I have thick hair but shouldnt these doctors be performing the swab test instead of immediately saying its ingrown hair with the visual analysis?

[gracefromHHP]

never shave over  a rash. You have potentially contaminated your razor as well as potentially spread whatever is going on to more areas :(

[joenicks]

I havent shaved the area that has the bump on it, I trimmed the hair with a buzzer to get a better look at it a week and a half ago

are you saying this could be herpes that Im spreading? :(

[gracefromHHP]

whatever is going on, you now have risked spreading. you were seen and they didn't think it was herpes. no way for us to know what it is.

[joenicks]

Ive been to 4 different doctors over the past 2 weeks who've told me visually that it was just irritation and ingrown hairs :(

I asked them if they did a test with swabs and they said it wasnt necessary
I dont know what to do :(

[gracefromHHP]

well 4 different providers seeing your symptoms and not thinking that they look like herpes is a sign that it isn't herpes going on.

follow up with blood testing at the appropriate time if you need peace of mind.

meanwhile give your genital area some extra tlc for the next week or two. sometimes even something as simple as powdering yourself before getting dressed is helpful in reducing irritation as well as absorbs excess sweat.  Soak in the bathtub once or two a day with epsom salts in too to help with irritation. I'd lay off on the shaving and clipping for a few weeks and be sure to change any disposable blades and properly clean clipper blades in case you have contamination on them adding to this all.

[joenicks]

I have an antibacterial barber spray I uses on the clipper blades after every use, I also wipe it down and dry it

I have 1 pimple like bump in the crotch area right now that developed from the red area the std clinic doctor said was nothing but follicle irritation, he didnt see the actual bump (which didnt show up until today)

should I wait 2 days and go back to my provider & show them?

[Mistakeguy789]

You know the answer to this.

As it has been said and we are now beating a dead horse.  If you think you have herpes or fear about a bump be seen by your provider for a work up.  This includes have them check it and if they feel it is herpes having a swab and culture/pcr performed.  You have been told you aren't likely to get HSV-1 in a new location.  If it is HSV-1 you need to be seen for the swab culture/pcr test to be done to prove you have it in that location.  Be seen within 24-48hrs after symptoms show up so you can get an accurate test done.  But as we have said chances are this is nothing to worry about.  Be seen.

[joenicks]

If you read my responses I just said that Ive seen 4 different doctors for this problem, I will again see a provider if symptoms worsen
thanks

[Mistakeguy789]

And everyone of them has said not herpes.  How many more people do you need to tell you it isn't herpes and move on?  I mean you are running out of people.  

[joenicks]

Im just concerned because after I see every doctor, I get another spot come up...and Its within 3 weeks of the encounter, should I not be worried and asking for advice?

Isnt it odd to have 3 ingrown hairs within 3 weeks? Im not used to having them this often...it could be just sh*t luck but this is a support forum I thought?

[Mistakeguy789]

It is a support forum.  If you had herpes to worry about.  A single bump or even a bump every other week isn't herpes.  There is no need to ask for advice you have been advised on the proper steps to take.  You fail to take them.  If you disagree with your provider ask to have the "bump" swabed to be sent for a culture or pcr testing.  

Is it odd?  No.  But I think you will find though that its the "car effect".  By the "car effect" I mean when you are driving down the road you will easily notice cars that are the same model as yours.  You typically ignore the other "common" cars.  For example I drove a Dodge Neon for 5 years.  I noticed just about every other neon on the street.  When I changed to the Chevy HHR I thought I had a car that not a lot of people had.  But within the first week I was seeing them everywhere.  

In your case the "car effect" is now you are WORRIED about herpes so every little bump is jumping out at you.  Every unexplainiable event you are freaking out thinking it is herpes.  The forum is limited to giving advice which in your case we have done.  We told you that you had HSV-1 orally and that your risk for HSV-1 genitally which is what your partner has is less than a low risk.  There really is no risk because your body now has an immune response to fighting the infection.  It's like chickenpox.  If you get chicenpox you don't need to get the vaccine because your body has the immune response to fighting the chickenpox virus off and from causing symptoms.  If you haven't had chickenpox and you come into contact (as adult it is bad but as a kid in general) you are going to get it.  Because your body doesn't know how to fight that infection.  Once it learns and creates the anitbody well you now don't have to worry about it.  

If there was a concern we would tell you that you had something to worry about. But your partner flat out yes after the fact told you it was HSV-1 genital. The fact is she knows she has HSV-1 genital and even at that HSV-1 genitally doesn't have a high reoccurance rate or high shedding (5% of days per year compared to HSV-2 20% of days per year).  So this alone puts a big damper in the transmission risk even if you were HSV-1 negative.  Then you have to consider the overall risk.  If she wasn't having an outbreak (given she knows what they feel like and said she hasn't had one) you have only the shedding to worry about (which is 18.25 days in 365 calendar days).  

Now given that we have now put the transmission risks for HSV-1 genital in perspective let's now look at it in your case.  You have HSV-1 already (you have had cold sores which is caused by HSV and in majority of cases it is HSV-1 because HSV-2 is rare in the oral location) which gave your body that immune response to fight the infection.  Furthermore not every contact with someone who has HSV is going to lead to infection.  So really whats the risk?  

If you are going to ask if you should see a doctor on these forums you are going to be told yes.  You have seen 3 of them.  At some point you have to move past it.  This is your point.  We can't tell you to test because if you test you will come back HSV-1 positive but that isn't going to tell you that it was genital.  Believe me there is a method to our "madness" in that you need the culture to prove your HSV-1 genital.

Even on a support forum people have to "move on" past things.  This is the move on phase.  

[joenicks]

The problem with her telling me flat out that she is HSV1 positive on her genitals was she told me flat out before sex that she didnt have anything, so how am I to believe she doesnt actually have hsv2? when I told one of my doctors she takes valacyclovir for HSV1 genitally, the doctor told me that cant be the case & that she probly has HSV2

[Mistakeguy789]

People can and do take valtrex for HSV-1 outbreaks.  You're doctor is wrong.  Now if she is taking it only during an outbreak or take it for daily therapy.  It's not widely used because HSV-1 doesn't have the reoccurances pattern that HSV-2 has in most people.  Most people have 1 outbreak a year or a few times a year and some have one and then never again.  Most people that take the medicine take it to help prevent transmission (daily therapy) and the others take it to speed up healing of outbreaks (eposidic therapy).  

By your own logic you were just as dishonest by not telling her about your HSV-1.  You gave her the same risk for HSV-1 infection if she has HSV-2 as she did for putting you at risk.  Because she was "clean" as you put it (which isn't the right word to use having an STD doesn't make you dirty not showering makes you dirty).  You don't know that she was taking those pills daily or if she has the medicine for when an outbreak occurs and takes it then.  You assumed a lot of things.  

Bottom line is this.  If you have a bump rash lump or anything abnormal in your skin you need to see your doctor within 24-48 hours for a lesion culture or PCR testing. There doesn't have to be liquid in the bump just the same procedure for a lesion culture. Have it sent to a lab and request typing. Easy as that.  Other than that wait 3 months for a type specific test.  

[joenicks]

Update, I had a blood test done earlier this week and the doctor called me with the results, he said I was positive for both HSV1 and HSV2...I immediately freaked out and after hanging up with him I thought about what Ive read about test results

and then I called him back asking for the numerical results and he said
the IGG result is 49.5
and the IGM is 1.88

what does this mean? could I be the .001% of people who got it from a one time protected outbreak free exposure? :(

when I asked him if the IGG could be high from my HSV1, he said maybe, he didnt specificy if the test was specifically for HSV 1 and 2 ...but I remember on the lab info the test was for IGM HSV I / II

he said the IGM proved that it was a recent infection
I havent been with any one sexually since the woman who I referenced in my first post out of paranoia of spreading something I dont have a full understanding of...and I havent shown any symptoms besides the ones Ive posted on here (that 4 doctors said were not herpes)

I asked the doctor if he could get a western blot test to  make sure, and he said western blot is not for herpes but he said I could come back to the office as a walk in after the weekend to do more tests if I wanted...

its gonna be a loooong weekend

[gracefromHHP]

your herpes blood test you had done was not type specific. It was a total waste of your time and money :(   You still no absolutely nothing about your herpes status.

your provider is WAY undereducated about herpes blood testing :(  Encourage him to read the 2010 CDC herpes guidelines to better educate himself so he can do his patients good instead of wasting their time and money like he is.

the herpes igm test is a flawed test and should've never been drawn on you in the first place. A + igm at this point is meaningless too.

[joenicks]

I thought so too!
my entire body flushed when he told me the news and I woke up this morning hoping yesterday was just a dream

the doctor that ordered my original herpes tests months ago is different from this doctor, doctor A ordered the tests and doctor B gave me the results, and even at the time he said he didnt know how to accurately read the results and consulted with another doctor in the office

what kind of test would give a result of 49.5 ? thats pretty extreme, Ive never seen a number that high

I'll be going on tuesday to try to get additional tests

[gracefromHHP]

non-type specific tests typically return with high numbers like that. since you already know you have hsv1, of course that test will be +!

[joenicks]

I just returned from the doctors office, I saw 2 different doctors today.
They gave me a copy of my results and it was a combination IGG test, I told him I was relieved and he said I had nothing to worry about. I asked if I could get a type specific test and he said its not necessary because they cross contaminate results anyway.

He refused to order another test and was rude about it, saying theres no way for a test to distinguish between hsv1 and hsv2 and that you can only tell when you got lesions on your genitals. I told him I read the 2010 CDC report on herpes and genital ulcers about the IGM test and type specific tests and he said "Ive been doing this for a long time, dont you think Ive read that" laughing. They gave me paperwork from the uptodate.com website and

I specifically showed them information on the paperwork (that they gave me) that talked about type specific antibody testing and they said that only applied to PCR testing not IGG testing.

What the hell do I do now?? (note neither of these people are my regular doctor in that clinic - I have an appointment with him on the 18th)

[gracefromHHP]

if you are in the US, order up your own type specific herpes igg blood testing through tstd.org or healthcheckusa.com. easier than arguing with under educated providers who refuse to update their information :(