Primary HSV2 outbreak after 12 years of marriage without infidelity?

[HSV2Questions]

I have been reading alot of forums, posts and medical sites regarding HSV2.  I have had a recurring lesion (ulcer-like sore) on my labia majoria for the past 20 months.  My family doc prescribed anti-biotics 4 or 5 different times and even had be see a gynecologist for a surgical consult.  He has recently retired and I had to find a new family doc.  The lesion came back (worse than ever - as bad as the first occurence ... as they had seemed to subside slightly between June to Sept 08) and I went to a new doc.  He did a swab/culture test that came back HSV2 positive.

My husband swears he has been faithful.  We've had ALOT of serious, in-depth conversations and I am choosing to believe him (and I know that I have not stepped outside our 12 year marriage).  He said he would even agree to a polygraph test (although, he said, he wouldn't like it ... but he would do it, if that's what I needed - no problem ... not typical 'got caught' behavious, I'm thinking).  He went for a blood test and was certain it would come back negative and we would continue trying to figure out what was going on with me.

Not so ... it came back positive as well.  I have also had further blood tests done (results still coming) for HSV1, syphillis, HIV, etc etc ...

My confusion is how did my first doc miss this?!  He saw this thing at its absolute worse and ran all kinds of tests! (I have sent for my full file and am awaiting its arrival) In fact, we used to joke that I had to take anti-biotics for 'strep' throat 'upside down' (because of my fever and swollen lymph gland)

If my husband and I had just been carriers (we both had a handful of previous partners prior to marriage) could a problem with my immune system cause what LOOKED like a primary outbreak?

My current doc has said, in no uncertain terms, that because of the way I suffered back in Jan of 07, I definitely had a primary outbreak and there is NO WAY I could have gotten this except for my husband stepping outside of our marriage.  He is only going on test results and has not had the opportunity to view this lesion for himself, however.

Aside from obvious stresses surrounding fidelity, I am concerned that something is getting missed here.  I have only ONE sore in the same place everytime.  No clusters, no bumbs ... it just looks like a big cankre sore (that you would find in your mouth ... which I get often, btw).  I am also un-characteristically exhausted most of the time.  With the lesion, I get fever, chills, muscle aches, swollen/sore lymph gland and what seems like an arthritis flare up everytime as well as a nose and/or eye infection (which I deal with by using hot compresses and saline nasal drops to keep clean). I have seen a rheumatoidologist who said my symptoms seem like fibromyalgia but couldn't say for sure.  I've also been to an opthamologist in the last year for a brief loss of vision in my left eye (he said it was an ocular migrain).  I know this is all strange and maybe unrelated ... it just seems like there's so much going on in a short amount of time!  Other than the past 20 months of weird symptoms, I've been perfectly healthy!  (I had one scare about 12 years ago - when my husband and I were dating ... I had erythema nodosum in my legs and was told that I had to go off the antibiotics I was on for strep throat immediately as well as the birth control pill ... I did and it went away).

Oh yes ... my husband has NOTHING ... absolutely NO SYMPTOM!  for 12 years of my own personal observation and not prior to our relationship either (as far as he has observed)  ... I've seen and there has NEVER been any sore or bump or anything in his boxer short area ...

Any thoughts, suggestions or resources you have would be most helpful.  My husband and I have been researching daily and trying to figure this all out.

Thanks very much ...

[HSV2Questions]

I did some researching about intrepreting blood tests and I think it was relevant to the RH factor ... not regarding the HSV2 - I'll be sure to double check all this with my doc but it looks like we're back to square one and the 'why now?' question ...

Hopefully everything is ok with my immune system ... if that's all good then at least we know what we're dealing with.

Thanks, again ...

[gracefromHHP]

no, you will not contract genital herpes anyway except for sexual contact.  The test in 98 might not be type specific.  do you know if it was or not?

grace

[HSV2Questions]

Well ... I received my old medical file.  I can't see ANYWHERE that my old doc had me tested.  It all reads anatomical disfunction dealt with by using antibiotics.  I'm still stunned that he missed this.  Also ... a little disheartening ... found an OLD pregnancy blood test from '98 (from our 2nd child) that screened for HIV, etc. and it read "Antibodies: negative" ... Saw new doc today briefly with one of my children (cold :o) and he quickly checked MY blood test results ... antibodies: positive.

I'm going to make a follow-up and make sure that the old '98 test I'm looking at doesn't mean something else (seems quite obvious but, again, I'm trying really hard here to stay positive about all this - it COULD be something else - I'm not a doc ...)

I'm very thankful for this sight too ... and having a down day again.  I love my hubby but it really is starting to look like a primary ob ... Is there ANY other way of getting this besides sexual contact???

A little sad today ...

[Dumbfounded284]

I know what you mean!  I'm really glad that my Dr talked to me for quite awhile, both on the phone and face to face.  It made a big difference in the entire situation.

I'm also really glad that I've found this site.  Things are so confusing and Grace is a wealth of knowledge and we are fortunate that she is willing to share with us!

It will get better with time, I was diagnosed in August and I'm already beginning to just take it as it comes.

I really hope you and your husband do well with this.  It may be confusing right now, you can see how I felt by my screen name!  But you will begin to feel better as you and your husband learn more about it.  

[HSV2Questions]

Thank you ... it helps to hear your story (and that of your doc ... )

My husband has been extremely supportive and patient with my questioning and worries.  It has helped so much that he understands why I'm upset, but at the same time is primarily concerned with my health (not his reputation ... he says it speaks for itself - and I agree :o)

This is, by far, the strangest ... most confusing ... head-shaking situation we've faced - but we face it together.

[Dumbfounded284]

Hi,  I just wanted to let you know that I have been with my husband for 17 years.  I had my first outbreak, or at least an outbreak that I've noticed in August of this year.
There is no question of infedelity in our marriage, so I beleive that yes, it can show up after 12 years without anyone being unfaithful.

I can understand why the Dr may ask questions, but to tell you that there is no other way was really unfair.  

My Dr told me that she has seen women that have not been sexually active for 20 years that have their first recognised outbreak.  Try not to be too hard on your husband because he very well could be telling you the truth.

I hope this was helpful.

[HSV2Questions]

Thank you for your response.  It helped alot to clear up my confusion between the bump/lesion issue.  At this point we have had some 'down' days, but have decided to focus on my health issues and wait for the rest of the test results.

It's all a waiting game and just trying to take one step at a time.  I have suppressive therapy prescribed to me and will start taking it ASAP upon receiving my blood test results.  I'm very thankful there is something I can take to help this situation (I have had 8-10 outbreaks in 20 months ... not fun ...

I'm anxious to see my file from my previous doc, as well ...

Thanks again ...

[gracefromHHP]

The doctor who told you that your partner had to have stepped out of the marriage is completely off base. Well sure it could happen, after all 50% of all marriages there is infidelity but the but reality is - you've been with this man for 12 years at least now. You know if he's lying and you don't seem to think that he is so the more likely scenerio is - either you had hsv2 before you met him and never knew it and passed it onto him or vice versa.  You two will probably never figure out who had it first since no herpes blood testing was ever done before on you ( it would've had to have been done with the very first ob to be of any help at all with this ).  It's hard to tell if you had it for awhile now and just everything else that has been going on lately in your body over the last 2 years has triggered you to finally have ob's in a new location that you do take notice to or if you really did just contract this 20 months ago from your hubby.  Sometimes it really is the whole chicken and the egg thing going on.  

Your one sore everytime in the same location is a classic herpes symptom. If you were expecting a blister type lesion like the kind you get on your hands when you go out and rake leaves for 4 hours without gloves on or something, you aren't going to see that.  The skin in the genital area is different and it's quite common for it to progress directly to the ulcerative stage.  You can't even be sure that your first ob 20 months ago was a primary infection - the virus isn't predictable enough to say that it really was.

I hope you get answers and relief soon from all of this.  Are you on suppressive therapy? If not I recommend starting it and taking herpes out of this whole picture. Control the herpes and see what symptoms are left because then you'll know that they aren't remotely due to your hsv2. Besides, who needs more ob's than they have to get anyways?

Hang in there and keep us updated :)

grace