Protecting my partner from Genital Herpes

I am a 51 year old female with HSV-2. I have a new partner and want to protect him. He wants to have sex without a condom, but I am worried. I am one of the people that have a hard time controlling outbreaks. I have gone from being inactive sexually to active in a short time. I did have an outbreak when we met early on before we were intimate due to new found arousal, I know we are in love and in the "wonder" stage, but can arousal cause the feelings of hotness in my genital area that comes and goes all day? I don't know if I am shedding or am just excited. I am taking daily 500 mg Valtrex, 500 mg lysine 2X , Lemon balm 790 mg X2, H Balm daily, cimitidine and immune support vitamins. We also use lube with Carrageenan to prevent transmission. We have not had intercourse and I am wondering what the percentage rate of transmission is with or without a condom in this situation, so we can make this decision together. Is there anything he can take, like cimitidiine or lysine or valtrex to reduce the chance of transmission? Thanks for your help.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

Only one of the things that you list, Valtrex, has been shown to reduce transmission of herpes from one person to another.  I worry about putting things on the labia that have unproven effects.  For example, for a long time we believed that nonoxynol 9 could reduce the risk of herpes transmission, but it turned out it increased the risk!  So if you were my patients, I would say that you stop putting things on your vagina except lubricants specifically made for sexual contact.  

The studies vary some in their results, but on average for female to male transmission:
If both couples are aware of herpes being in the relationship, if there is no sex during actual outbreaks, if Valtrex is taken daily, having sex twice per week, the risk of transmission is about 2% in a year.  Adding condoms reduces the risk of transmission by another 30-50%.

I'm not sure about your vaginal sensations, hard to sort that one out.

I'm assuming he has tested negative for HSV 2?

Terri

[Orbyt]

Hi Terry, the number featured are very interesting, Would you give me the rate for the next situation: "having sex twice per week, not Valtrex daily, (just used in the outbreaks time), adding condoms in and percent lower than 50% of the intercourse" second situation "in the same situatuation mentioned but not using condoms.