Real risks of herpes

[Vicky2017]

I've only been with 2 men before. One I know was clean for everything as he was a virgin and the other was unknown status (I was not with him for long at all). I've never had sex without a condom nor has it broken to my knowledge. The second man had no symptoms of herpes and says he never has. This was about 10 or 11 months ago. I've read online that (if he even was infected) the risk of transmission with condoms M to F is about 4% annually (I think it was a study by valtrex). Yet somehow so many people are infected. Do I have cause to be concerned? I'm thinking about involving myself with someone new but am unsure whether or not I should.
As a side note, I also have a decent amount of white discharge all throughout the month (this has been going on consistently for a while). Sometimes it's clear but usually it's white or off white and fairly thick. It doesn't smell or anything and I cannot tell if that's normal and if I should be worried.

[Fleetwood20]

No problems, but cramps are not a symptom of herpes.

[Vicky2017]

Thank you for your reply! I do have one last question, for the past two days I've felt a little crampy in my pelvic area. It's not painful and I don't think my lymph nodes are swollen but I'm not due to start my period for another 10 days. I've never had cramps this early before as far as I can remember.  Is that a symptom of anything? Sorry if that sounds a little stupid!

[Fleetwood20]

There is no need for concern at all. Most likely upon infection you would experience an outbreak of sores that could be swabbed to confirm the infection.

A blood test would tell you all you need to know about your status, but I wouldn't recommend this.

Discharge is not related to herpes, most likely bacterial or fungal.