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Risk q
Hi dr,
32yo male, married, monogamous until poor decision 3 days ago. Had protected receptive anal with bi m. Only lasted a few minutes, used lube, no issue with condom, he came in condom after pulling out. Only other contact was brief mutual masterbation.
It's day 3, potential symptoms.
1. Had diarrhea and loose stool the last two days. Almost gone now. And seemed to have loose stool prior to encounter. Also wide had same symptoms plus stomach pains last week.
2. Had fever of 99.5 the day after. Gone now.
3. Have white tongue the day after thru today.
4. Extremely anxious and concerned. Haven't been sleeping well. Do just come back from top to Asia and sleep pattern might still be off.
5. Partner indicated he was negative for all. An was tested in oct. though he ha two encounters since then( oral).
Questions
1. What is my risk here? Assuming he is vein honest about his results ( though might not be aware) or if in fact he lied?
2. Biggest worry - should I abstain from sex with my wife? Can probably only do that for another few days before she thinks something is going on.
3. Is it too early to get tested now for peace of kind and ability to resume ar with wife?
I am extremely stressed about this. Your thoughts?
32yo male, married, monogamous until poor decision 3 days ago. Had protected receptive anal with bi m. Only lasted a few minutes, used lube, no issue with condom, he came in condom after pulling out. Only other contact was brief mutual masterbation.
It's day 3, potential symptoms.
1. Had diarrhea and loose stool the last two days. Almost gone now. And seemed to have loose stool prior to encounter. Also wide had same symptoms plus stomach pains last week.
2. Had fever of 99.5 the day after. Gone now.
3. Have white tongue the day after thru today.
4. Extremely anxious and concerned. Haven't been sleeping well. Do just come back from top to Asia and sleep pattern might still be off.
5. Partner indicated he was negative for all. An was tested in oct. though he ha two encounters since then( oral).
Questions
1. What is my risk here? Assuming he is vein honest about his results ( though might not be aware) or if in fact he lied?
2. Biggest worry - should I abstain from sex with my wife? Can probably only do that for another few days before she thinks something is going on.
3. Is it too early to get tested now for peace of kind and ability to resume ar with wife?
I am extremely stressed about this. Your thoughts?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
If the condom stayed intact, then I would not spend time worrying about microscopic tears.
Terri
Terri
Last one... Now the only thing bugging me is that I'm not positive what kind if lube was used (water oil). Didn't see container clearly but certainly. Was no condom rupture but worried about microscopic holes or tears... Thoughts?
Swear I'm done postin after this
Swear I'm done postin after this
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
Its OK, I honestly don't mind, you're just trying to find the best possible information, seems reasonable to me.
Terri
Terri
Thank you - sorry that I've been checking with multiple sources but have been so stressed. You are very helpful.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I think you've also spoke with Dr. Hook about this situation, perhaps he can give you a number in terms of percentage of risk, I really can't.
If HIV is your primary concern, I don't think this is an issue at all if the condom stayed intact. I also think your odds of getting any other STD is less than 1 in 1,000, if pushed to give a number. Probably even less than that, but I'm not clear that our data is good enough on the kind of contact that you had to give you a number, frankly.
I did drop Dr. Handsfield a note about your situation, and he had already seen it on their board. He feels it is safe to return to sexual activity with your wife.
Terri
If HIV is your primary concern, I don't think this is an issue at all if the condom stayed intact. I also think your odds of getting any other STD is less than 1 in 1,000, if pushed to give a number. Probably even less than that, but I'm not clear that our data is good enough on the kind of contact that you had to give you a number, frankly.
I did drop Dr. Handsfield a note about your situation, and he had already seen it on their board. He feels it is safe to return to sexual activity with your wife.
Terri
I posted a question, I really needed closure please help me.
Hi Terri,
Just to clarify... Sounds like you think clamid gonn or HIV are not concerns. Meaning like 1 in 10,000 or 1,000,000 or more?
Then minimal risk for hsv. Mathematically why kind of odds do u think are reasonable when you say "very minimal risk"?
Just trying to put some context around the comments to help with the decision making. I did get a test done yesterday but was only 5 days post encounter. No symptoms here at this point.
From everything I'm hearing I don't think I need to abstain with wife, but trying I feel more confident.
Thank you for all your help.
Just to clarify... Sounds like you think clamid gonn or HIV are not concerns. Meaning like 1 in 10,000 or 1,000,000 or more?
Then minimal risk for hsv. Mathematically why kind of odds do u think are reasonable when you say "very minimal risk"?
Just trying to put some context around the comments to help with the decision making. I did get a test done yesterday but was only 5 days post encounter. No symptoms here at this point.
From everything I'm hearing I don't think I need to abstain with wife, but trying I feel more confident.
Thank you for all your help.
Thank you Terri. Good to hear that you don't think I need to be concerned about HIV etc.
A couple of clarifications:
1. I started having loose stool 2 days prior to encounter, but then had short fever plus looser stool the day after. Objectively it is prob unrelated.
2. I've received anal before, but from wife with sex toy. No pain or issues then or now.
3. I'm assuming the white tongue is related to stress and the cold flu or stomach bug.
In terms of low risk, are we taking 1 in 100 or more/less? I know this is probably fuzzy math but might help if I understood the magnitude.
Based on your comments so far and those of others I probably don't need to abstain with wife. HIV was prob my biggest concern with her to be honest.
I will monitor my skin but so far no changes what so ever and approaching day 4.
Thanks again. Hopefully I can sleep a bit now.
A couple of clarifications:
1. I started having loose stool 2 days prior to encounter, but then had short fever plus looser stool the day after. Objectively it is prob unrelated.
2. I've received anal before, but from wife with sex toy. No pain or issues then or now.
3. I'm assuming the white tongue is related to stress and the cold flu or stomach bug.
In terms of low risk, are we taking 1 in 100 or more/less? I know this is probably fuzzy math but might help if I understood the magnitude.
Based on your comments so far and those of others I probably don't need to abstain with wife. HIV was prob my biggest concern with her to be honest.
I will monitor my skin but so far no changes what so ever and approaching day 4.
Thanks again. Hopefully I can sleep a bit now.
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
I think your risk for herpes or any other STD is very minimal here. Even if he is lying, risk is risk, and I don't think you have much risk. I wouldn't be concerned at all about things like chlamydia or gonorrhea or even HIV. Very minimal risk for HSV and syphilis, minimal risk for things like scabies and crabs.
So observe carefully for any skin changes or creatures in your pubic hair.
You could get baseline STD tested. We most often recommend that for our patients because often people have something that they didn't know they had, and if they wait to get tested for the first time after waiting the appropriate amount of time, then they can never know if they had this before or after the worrisome encounter.
The question about sex with your wife is more difficult. Though I think your risk of an STD is really low in this circumstance, this is one you will have to come to on your own. I can't say you have no risk. I know this is a very tough one for you and I wish I could give you a guarantee, but I can't.
I'm not sure about the white tongue. The diarrhea is not completely unexpected after having reception anal sex for the first time, I don't think. We do see this with other patients in similar situations. The low grade fever that is gone is not worrisome either.
Let me know if you have other questions.
Terri
So observe carefully for any skin changes or creatures in your pubic hair.
You could get baseline STD tested. We most often recommend that for our patients because often people have something that they didn't know they had, and if they wait to get tested for the first time after waiting the appropriate amount of time, then they can never know if they had this before or after the worrisome encounter.
The question about sex with your wife is more difficult. Though I think your risk of an STD is really low in this circumstance, this is one you will have to come to on your own. I can't say you have no risk. I know this is a very tough one for you and I wish I could give you a guarantee, but I can't.
I'm not sure about the white tongue. The diarrhea is not completely unexpected after having reception anal sex for the first time, I don't think. We do see this with other patients in similar situations. The low grade fever that is gone is not worrisome either.
Let me know if you have other questions.
Terri
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Forum
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
