This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
I have only found information on sex between partners when only one is infected focused on preventing transmission. If both partners have HSV-2, what sex practices should be followed? Can we only have sex when neither of us is having an outbreak? If one of us is having an outbreak and we have sex will it cause the other to have an outbreak?
Nothing needs to be done. Since you both have HSV2 genitally, an outbreak in one (or both) doesn't cause re-infection or another outbreak. Granted, I can't imagine WANTING to have sex during an outbreak! :-)
Thank you for your response...No I don't want! but I was just concerned if we were to have sex when one of us was having an outbreak and didn't know or were asymptomatic...I had a really painful and long outbreak and I am scared to even think about having sex, but I'm wondering for the future and really concerned with preventing future outbreaks since it was such a horrific experience...if we have oral sex could i get oral herpes from him and vice versa?
You both have significant protection from getting HSV2 orally, for two reasons: first, you both already have the virus, and second, HSV2 is very uncommon orally. It just doesn't "like" the oral area as much as it does the genitals.
I know that having sex for the first time after my initial outbreak made me a bit nervous. It was a good couple of weeks after all had healed, and it all turned out fine - just needed to get over the mental hump of it!
When I first posted I didn't know that my boyfriend had cheated on me and that is how he got herpes first and passed it to me. Here is the long story because I am scared, sad, mad, and confused...
Me and my boyfriend have been having unprotected sex for a while now, we were both tested for HIV/STDs before we started and were negative for everything (now after reading these posts I know herpes is not routine and we were never tested for it). We had sex one night and immediately after he was in enormous pain and told me that he had felt something was wrong with his penis for the past two days and it hurt to urinate but he didn't know what it was (he told me this after we had unprotected sex!) and decided to go to the ER the next day. At the ER they told him it looked like he had chlamydia and herpes and gave him medicine but told him he would have to get tested for them in a couple of days. I went out of town for the weekend so I didn't know what happened but he said he would tell when i got back and that he did have something. 3 days after we had sex, I started itching really bad but i assumed it was a yeast infection b/c i got those from time to time. But the next day I realized there was a lot more discharge and it hurt a little to urinate. I knew something was wrong and I made him tell me what he had. He told me and said the doctor told him he could have contracted them a while ago but never had symptoms or known. By this time I was in so much pain and terrified to urinate that I just believed him and kept trusting him. He took me to the ER where we told the doctor I was exposed to herpes/chlamydia, all she did was look and take a swab of the outer area and urine sample and said it looked like gonorrhea b/c there was a lot of discharge in the vaginal area and a uti, gave me a bunch of antibiotics and painkillers (but no herpes meds) and told me to follow-up with a ob/gyn.
2 days later the pain when urinating was still so severe (i cried, bit my shirt, screamed) i went back to the ER, they made me do another urine sample and without examining me at all but simply asking why i was there, the PA said I probably had herpes since it was so painful and gave me valtrex for 2x 7 days and pyridium for painful urination, he was actually really disrepectful and sarcastic when he asked if i had any bumps and i said i didn't know (i was too scared to touch the area to look and there was so much discharge i didn't know anything)...so I thought I was going to be ok...
next day I called the hospital for my test results, they said they were all negative but wouldn't tell me specifically what the test were (i don't recall the first doctor ever telling me). At this point I'm on 7 different types of pills and scared to death b/c i am still in incredible pain and terrified to urinate and don't know why, so I go to the ER again, this is a diff one...they ask me for the whole story, do a pelvic exam and another urine test, and tell me I have herpes and keep taking the valtrex, try a sitz bath, and gave me more painkillers. So I finish the Valtrex and I think I am getting better, the pain when urinating starts going down, but I notice that it looks like a rash spreading to both my inner thighs so i made an appt with gyn to follow-up...
I see the gyn and she tells me it's really bad, the first ER I went to mistreated me and prescribes me Valtrex 2x for a month and told me i couldn't go to work til it was better, she didn't take cultures at the time b/c she said it would be too painful, so I am going back in a few days...but she explained it was a primary outbreak and that my boyfriend cheated on me b/c most likely his was a primary outbreak too....
So I confronted my boyfriend and he confessed that about 2 1/2 weeks before that night we had sex he had cheated on me. He had sex with a girl with a condom and he had sex with another girl with a condom and received oral sex from her also.
Now my questions are:
Is it more likely that he got it from the oral sex rather than the sex with a condom? he didn't recall seeing any cold sores on the girl. And if so, then is it more likely we both have HSV1...i know I need to wait for the tests but I'm just so nervous esp about the pain of getting another outbreak.
I am doing a lot better now since being on the Valtrex and Zovirax cream, it's been about 26 days since I first noticed the itching and I'm still a little sore/itchy.
Thank you so much for anyone who responds about my situation. It would just be really nice to hear from someone.
I encourage you to keep following up with your gyn and avoid the ER. they are the perfect place for broken bones, strokes and heart attacks but gyn type issues they are not your best place to go unless you are really desperate. I think it sounds like you need to call your gyn monday and get another appointment for this week ( not sure when your follow up appointment is ). You need retested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally at that time. Getting herpes lesion cultures done at this point is useless because you've been on valtrex and it's too far into things. I recommend getting a type specific herpes igg blood test now and then depending on the results, you might need to repeat it in a few months.
You should've been on valtrex 1gm, 2x/day for 10 days. It won't hurt to stay on it 2x/day for a month but it's usefulness will be limited.
What testing has your bf had done so far for herpes?
I also encourage you to read the herpes handbook and watch the patient counseling video at www.westoverheights.com. if you don't mind spending some money, Terri Warren's book "the good news about the bad news" is well worth the $15 price tag on it. it goes into far more detail than her free handbook does.
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