Super paranoid and upset about herpes, need advice

About 13 years ago I was given a hsv blood test and it showed positive. It was a long time ago, so I don't really have anymore information about that. However, I had never had any symptoms. I've been really careful my whole life, always using protection and everything. I figured it was probably a false positive but it can't hurt to be safe.

On Friday I was a little red and itchy and thought I might be having a small yeast infection. I get them from time to time and have learned to deal with it. On Saturday night I had protected sex, and on Sunday I found two small white dots with red rings around them on my labia up near my clit. I don't really feel anything, except maybe some itching. I've never seen anything like it. I looked at pictures online about herpes but the pictures are always super disgusting. You can't just find an example of a very mild case.

Now I'm completely freaking out. I never told this guy about my positive test many years ago because I've been running under the assumption that I probably had a false positive and just super paranoid. I'm going to the gyno tomorrow, but I'm so upset right now that I can hardly breathe. I feel like I should tell him, but I don't want him to worry about it until I know for sure.

I guess I'm just looking for words of wisdom to calm me down until I know for sure. Also, am I the worst person in the world for not telling this guy about the positive test so long ago? Also, if the red and itching was the start of a breakout and we used protection, what are the odds that he now has it?

If I do have it I'm afraid I just made the biggest mistake ever. He's really great and I don't want to be the girl who gave him something. :(

[gracefromHHP]

It sounds like you'll need to repeat your herpes igg blood test for starters since you are unclear of the original results. Make sure it's a type specific test you have done. You'll receive a hsv1 result and a separate hsv2 result with the type specific testing.  

Has your partner been tested to know his own status?

If you had sex during an active genital herpes infection, a condom doesn't do a whole lot to protect him. it helps a little but not much.

grace

[feelingbadaboutme]

I'm about to head over to the gyno right now. Thanks for responding. I did a lot of reading over the last couple of days and am armed with questions and tests I would like to ask for. If only so I can stop being so paranoid about every little itch or bump I see. I also want to be able to tell my partner something besides, "Well, I was a bit itchy when we had sex and now I think I might have given you herpes."

I used to get cold sores as a kid, and sometimes I try to tell myself that's what the positive result came from. The test was done while I was in the army and I was too scared of the officers at the time to ask for more details. :(

The spots are gone, so I'm a bit upset that I can't show them to my doctor. I'll post what she says and does when I return in case it might help anyone like me.

[gracefromHHP]

sounds like a plan!

let us know how it all goes :)

[feelingbadaboutme]

The doctor visit went really well. She inspected me and said she saw nothing. I felt a little silly for freaking out so badly. However, she looked under a microscope and saw no yeast. So I'm still a little upset about the itching (she says she sees no reason for me to be itching).

I guess I should mention that I'm a huge worrier.

Anyway, she went ahead and ordered me the Western Blot test. She said not every place has that test available, but they do right in-house. So I'm waiting for results on that. She also went ahead and ordered all kinds of other STD tests since I haven't been tested since that time in the army so long ago.

So! I'll let you know what comes of that. She seems to think I will be positive because of my history of cold sores, but she said the WB will be more type specific.

[feelingbadaboutme]

So I have the WB results. It is HSV-1 negative and HSV-2 positive. I'm surprised, because I figured it would be HSV-1.

I'm meeting the guy soon for dinner. I'm so terrified to tell him. I'm going to tell him before we leave for dinner in case he just wants me to go away.

:(

I'm so sad. I really like him and now I think I gave him herpes.

[NYCguy40]

Hi there-

You don't know me from a hole in the wall, but I just wanted to say that you are NOT a horrible person.

In fact, I think you're very brave for telling him what you've found just out, especially while you're still dealing with the news.

It's so easy for me to say this, but if he really cares about you, then this may not really be a big deal.

So go out, talk to him, and know that whatever happens, you can post about it here and you'll have people to talk to who will be compassionate (and knowledgeable!)

I have to get up very early tomorrow, so I'm going to bed early, but either later tonight or first thing in the AM, I'll look forward to hearing how dinner went.

And... there's every chance here that a) you didn't give him anything or b) he already had something and just didn't know. So DON'T beat yourself up :)

[gracefromHHP]

I don't think you had a herpes WB test done. You won't get results in 24 hours from a herpes WB.  

[feelingbadaboutme]

Thank you both so much for all your help in dealing with this. I think I have been very lucky to find this message board.

Last night I sat him down before we left for dinner and explained that I just got tested for several STDs. I told him that I got my results back a few hours ago and it was positive for HSV-2. I was so scared of his reaction, but I wanted to allow him to be angry/hurt/upset if he wanted to be. However, he was almost not even phased by it. He asked what that meant and I explained the disease, but that I don't seem to actually have symptoms except for maybe last week. He said, "What's a few sores once in  while? I still want to be with you."

YAY!!!!!! I am walking on air. :)

[feelingbadaboutme]

Oh, and I'm 99% sure it was the WB. We discussed the two tests and she said they do the WB in the lab in the medical center. They drew the blood Tuesday morning and I got the results Thursday afternoon. I can double check, but I'm pretty sure.

[feelingbadaboutme]

It says:

WESTERN BLOT RESULT Positive for antibody to HSV-2 by Western blot.
Negative for antibody to HSV-1.

[NYCguy40]

Yay! I've been waiting to hear this all day!

Gotta go... I'm actually setting up a charity event right now!

[Mistakeguy789]

This doesn't sound like a western blot test.There is only one lab that runs the WB test and that is the University of Washington.