Terri please nned help fast fast

Im gona try to be short. December 10 had unprotected sex for just 10 second with a girl i know from long time. Next day a started felling very guilty and anxaity just went over the roof. Of course i starded to feel lots a difrent sensation on my penis.  Having trouble tu urinate. Urinate burning.  On december 26 i had sex with my wife (my wife is 21 weeks pregnant).felt guity to my guts.And i was looking and touching my penis every day. Just to see if there was something wrong.  January 14 i had sex wife my wife again. 3 days later my mind was going of and again bad sensation to pee and i look at my penis and a lot of red dots show up in my penis head.wash my penis with rubbing alcohol. Put some cream and it went away the same day. Nex thing i noticed was 3 small cuts like paper cuts in the shaft of my penis didnt itch just if ill touch ill feel something. Next day went to a walk in clinic and the doctor just from looking at it said it was herpes. And gave me valtrex 500 mg 2 day for ten days. Since then i look over the we and read more then 200 articules. I feel that i have herpes and now for my stupid action my wife has it and the baby as well. Of course everthing i read happens to me. My two butt cheeks i have pain. The cuts went away my gland looks more pink and im saying to my self of course is the valtrex. Now i still have the sensation when i pee. Ist like i dont empty. And like a drop is still there.Now i have some pain in my penis as well since the first encounter..

what are the odds of getting herpes from the first encounter and can it take 40 days to show up (i did spoke to the girl and she said she has been tested for std and i ask her about herpes and she said she never had anything)

never had flu symptoms Ofcourse reading about lymph nodes i started touchin one under my chin and now i feel pain there.

I do remember having some cuts like this years ago o so but never give it any atention as it went away.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I can see why you have so much anxiety.  And it is only multiplied by someone telling you that you have herpes without any testing.  But they did have an opportunity to examine you, something I don't have the ability to do.

Because your wife is pregnant, this is a very very serious situation.  

I would strongly suggest that you discuss this situation with your wife openly, and her doctor.  If possible, the woman with whom you had sex should get a herpes antibody test as should your wife and you.  Had the doctor not visually diagnosed herpes for you, I probably wouldn't make this suggestion, based on a few seconds of intercourse.  But again, the last thing you want is to infect your wife at this point.  Please please involve the other woman (either ask to see her tests or offer to pay for her to get tested again) and your wife and her doctor.  If you do have new herpes, this could be extremely dangerous for your baby at this point.

Terri

[herpeshelp6]

Thank you for your response. As now i think im going to kill my self. I cant ask the other girl as she is married and had a baby 4 month ago.  She assure me that she knows she does not have herpes. My does not live here in the states and her primary doctor is out of the country. And wont be back till mid feb.  my wife does not have any symptoms and after seing the doc did not have sex with her.. Please need help.. A have two more kids. I cant tell her that i cheated ill destroy my family. Im so stupid stupid. I had say no. It was my first time ever..

[herpeshelp6]

Also were to get tested. And what test.  Is the pockit test good.. I dont know what to do please im crying since a got the response. Please please...

[lt14life]

Ok first off take a deep breath and calm the H#** Down. Ive had genital herpes since 1980 and after the encounter my sores showed up three days later, You need to go to a clinic and get STD Screening done because theres NO WAY a Dr can look at you and say you have herpes without testing . As I said Ive had this since 1980 and ive never heard of herpes causing a burning sensation during urination.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

You are not going to kill yourself, and that's final. No matter how serious this could be, it completely pales in comparison to you killing yourself with a pregnant wife and two more children.  Step back from that idea completely.  I will continue to work with you on this problem and what to do, but until you make a an absolute promise that suicide is not an option here.  I have more idea, but I refuse to share them with you until I get this promise.

Terri

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

You are not going to kill yourself, and that's final. No matter how serious this could be, it completely pales in comparison to you killing yourself with a pregnant wife and two more children.  Step back from that idea completely.  I will continue to work with you on this problem and what to do, but until you make a an absolute promise that suicide is not an option here.  I have more idea, but I refuse to share them with you until I get this promise.

Terri

[herpeshelp6]

I do promise. I did talk to my wife about herpes. And We did talk to her doctor. I also Spoke to my personal doc. He said that its to much time drone the first exposure to the symptoms. And that my wife should already show something.  He thinks that it can be a yeast infection wich I did the test with the water and in 2 minutes water was almost white. Also I never had a blister. The res dots were in my penis gland and the cuts in the bottom of my shaft.

I did not talked about the other girl. I think is to much for my wife. But everybody is aware of my herpes diagnose.

Terry I know u have a lot but I really need u.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

I'm so glad you did everything you did.  
Remember that you don't have a real herpes diagnosis!  You have a medical impression.  Nothing about your exposure would suggest that you are likely to have contracted herpes in this very short encounter, and when a diagnosis is made by exam only, the clinician is wrong one out of five times!  So hang in there.  Where are you, by the way?

Terri

[herpeshelp6]

I'm in NY. But I live in another country. And We are going back mid. Feb.  My wires OB. Said that its useless for hee to get tested. As false positive can come. And the he is only concern at time of delivery wich he is going to take care. Now I whant to get tested the thing is my insurance as is internationat ain't cover std clinics. So I'm goin to a regular clinic most walk in.

By the way I still have pain in my penis and is hard to urinate. And again my signs show up 3 days after having sex with my wife.  Not after my encounter with other girl wich was 40 days  

Can it take 40 days to show symptoms.

Again the other girl is married and had a baby 4 month ago.  Isn't a good chance she is clean.

Terry thank u thank u. I'm very stress I blaim my self for all and I'm going to bad depression.

[herpeshelp6]

Also I don't knownif increase.the risk but after the 5 second encounter with the first girl I did not shower o wash up  next day. Does this increase the chance for the virus to get in.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

No, it doesn't.  But a 10 second encounter?  So low risk.  
Again, you don't know that you have herpes.  You can't know that until you have some kind of lab test.  

Terri

[herpeshelp6]

Terri. One last question. As I said I'm not from USA I'm just on vacation. Going back to my country mid Feb. We Spoke to my wife OB and he said that at this point the only problem will be at delivery and he is going to take care. That the baby is not at risk right now. Should I wait till I get back to my country to do all the test. I'm no having any kind of intercourse with my wife. Please answer back as I'm going to erase everything and ill will post new info with my result.  I don't whant my wife to read about the other girl. Thanks.

[Terri Warren, RN, Adult Nurse Practitioner]

If you don't have sex with your wife until after the pregnancy, I would agree that the baby is not at risk.  However, if you really do have herpes, and you have sex now and she gets herpes in the third trimester, that's when things could get serious.  
You could certainly test now, before you go back to your country, and see what your status is at this point.  Then, in 4 months, you could test again.  If your test is positive for HSV 2 now, then I would notify her OB of this, and I would hope she would get tested also.  If you are negative now, that's great, but not final.
What you want is a type specific IgG antibody test.  Nothing else.

Terri