Aa
Transmission, Unprotected Sex, Monogamy
Diagnosed with HSV-2 6 mos ago...I have been stressing mostly about transmitting this to my new boyfriend who i love very much and does NOT have HSV(as far as I kno) Ive used condoms so far with no suppressive therapy and he hasnt gotten it yet. He is really pressuring me to have unprotected sex with him lately so I have started taking acyclovir (twice daily for about 2 weeks so far). The worst part of the disease is the asymptomatic shedding not knowing when I can possibly be at risk of infecting him...I want to lead a normal life get married and have children with him and I feel like ive been robbed. Am I at a higher risk of infecting him because this is still my first year of having HSV-2? If we have sex after ive had an outbreak but it is completely healed would i most likely still be shedding at this time? is it possible that he has already been infected even though we have used condoms (the condom broke twice but we immediately stopped and got a new one)? Does acyclovir lower transmission rates as much as valtrex? Please help.....
I have yet another question....my intitial contact with HSV was not through intercourse...the infected person touched me with their genitals only on the exterior of my vagina and buttocks. Is it possible to have spread HSV-2 to the inside of my cervix as well?
Thats exactly my point! he acts like it takes 3 hours to put a condom on...I think we should wait also. I am under 29 so I will also look into the HPV shot. Thanks so much and ill remember to add my further questions to this post! :)
odds are that he doesn't get herpes testing when he gets tested for std's. He'll need to check specifically to see what he gets tested for.
not sure of your age but both of you can get your gardasil shots through the health department if your insurance isn't covering them and you are under 29. Definitely worthwhile to look into them.
5 months is a short amount of time and frankly the "newness" of each other hasn't worn off yet....he he he. You don't sound comfortable yet with his low risk so let him know that you'd like to still use condoms. what part of condoms is interfering with spontaneity other than having to have one nearby?
not sure of your age but both of you can get your gardasil shots through the health department if your insurance isn't covering them and you are under 29. Definitely worthwhile to look into them.
5 months is a short amount of time and frankly the "newness" of each other hasn't worn off yet....he he he. You don't sound comfortable yet with his low risk so let him know that you'd like to still use condoms. what part of condoms is interfering with spontaneity other than having to have one nearby?
Ive never had a shot for HPV and I am pretty sure that he hasnt either. He says he gets tested for stds twice a year. I do believe my boyfriend when he says he is monogamous we often talk about marriage. However, I would feel awful if i passed this along to him and then we ended up not working out. We have only been together about 5 mos now. I started dating him shortly after i found out my diagnoses and hes been understanding thus far with me wanting to use condoms. It has put a strain on our sex life he feels like we cant be as spontaneous so on and so forth. Im not sure he understands the risks and I want to really have all my facts in order before i make this decision. and also so I can answer any questions that he has without hesitation.
it's really helpful if you just keep adding new questions to your original post instead of making a new one each time. That way we don't have to go back and reread your original post - it's right there for us to skim and see what you were already told :)
just to clear things up - he is aware of your infection isn't he?
We can't control everything 100% of the time. we already discussed the differences in average transmission rates in your other post. Condoms help reduce transmission of herpes but not 100%. Valtrex is the only herpes antiviral they've studied for reduction in transmission of hsv2 to a partner. Since all 3 herpes antiivrals we currently have reduce shedding at about the same rate, we assume that all 3 are effective since the less active virus a partner is potentially exposed to, the less chance that they have of contracting hsv2 from us. Even just avoiding sex when you have obvious genital symptoms as your only precaution is a very low rate of transmission.
Yes you do shed more the first year of being infected. Being on daily suppressive therapy helps to control that though.
how comfortable are you of stopping condoms with your partner? has he had a full std screening himself for other std's? Are you comfortable with his saying he is monogamous with you? Have either of you had your gardasil shots for hpv? Remember this is just as much about protecting yourself as it is protecting your partner from hsv2!
grace
just to clear things up - he is aware of your infection isn't he?
We can't control everything 100% of the time. we already discussed the differences in average transmission rates in your other post. Condoms help reduce transmission of herpes but not 100%. Valtrex is the only herpes antiviral they've studied for reduction in transmission of hsv2 to a partner. Since all 3 herpes antiivrals we currently have reduce shedding at about the same rate, we assume that all 3 are effective since the less active virus a partner is potentially exposed to, the less chance that they have of contracting hsv2 from us. Even just avoiding sex when you have obvious genital symptoms as your only precaution is a very low rate of transmission.
Yes you do shed more the first year of being infected. Being on daily suppressive therapy helps to control that though.
how comfortable are you of stopping condoms with your partner? has he had a full std screening himself for other std's? Are you comfortable with his saying he is monogamous with you? Have either of you had your gardasil shots for hpv? Remember this is just as much about protecting yourself as it is protecting your partner from hsv2!
grace
Yes both those drugs you mention can suppress the chance of transmission to extremely low when you are not having an active outbreak.
Unfortunately, for me, I believe HSV-2 is one of the STDs that should be disclosed to the other partner. Theres always going to be a chance of it transmitting, and if you are planning to have unprotected intercourse with the person you care about, you should disclose it.
If you are going to average X amount of intercourse a week, no matter how low, just by chance, he will one day get it from you. Someone always wins the lottery, no matter the odds. And also eventually your medications will be revealed ultimately as well if you do indeed want to live with him. I don't think this is something you can mask, I mean you can temporarily do it, but in the long run it isn't possible.
Better for you to disclose it, then to have intercourse for a few years, and one day he realizes he has HSV-2 from you and imagine the worst.
Unfortunately, for me, I believe HSV-2 is one of the STDs that should be disclosed to the other partner. Theres always going to be a chance of it transmitting, and if you are planning to have unprotected intercourse with the person you care about, you should disclose it.
If you are going to average X amount of intercourse a week, no matter how low, just by chance, he will one day get it from you. Someone always wins the lottery, no matter the odds. And also eventually your medications will be revealed ultimately as well if you do indeed want to live with him. I don't think this is something you can mask, I mean you can temporarily do it, but in the long run it isn't possible.
Better for you to disclose it, then to have intercourse for a few years, and one day he realizes he has HSV-2 from you and imagine the worst.
Yes the antivirals are comparable and should lower the risk significantly. He may be infected, but the general rule is to either wait for symptoms, or three months after exposure for a herpes select igg test. I would not believe the risk factor would change since it's the first year, but I'm unsure.
Good luck
Good luck
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
