i am with you. I was diagnosed, 8 years ago. Only 3 partners my entire life, and I felt like no - one would love me again.. However- I thave been symptom free for more that 3 years. and my husband of 3 years has never had any problems either.. but I know It is alway in my mind. and I always feel dirty.. I wish there was a way to make the dirty go away. I am about to leave my marriage and I dread having to tell someone else that I want to have a relationship with my story..My doctor also told me one time- that the cure for herpes is beta- hydroxy- glucose. Very cheap to make-- and will cure it-- but because it is so cheap no drug campany will make it.. Funny how the medical world and drug companies wont help. I would give 5 years of my income for just 1 pill.. to be "clean" again. God Bless You!
most folks don't come back to read their posts. you can try sending a private message to see if they still check in periodically to medhelp to get an update.
feel free to start a post of your own if you want help with your own situation.
grace
I know it has been a long time since the last post, but I am in the same, identical situation as curious676 was in and need someone to talk to. If not, to find out what happened since then? The ONLY difference is that I am not in a happy marriage as curious was in. Everything else, the 20+years no symptoms, affair with married man, never transmitted in prior relationships are all similar. I do not want to tell the affair man, yet want so desperately to continue seeing him. Did curious' "friend" ever find out? Did the relationship continue or stop? I feel so ashamed and don't know what to do.
didn't tell one man about it and that turned into a disaster :( I had been diagnosed while dating him and was stupid enough to think as long as I avoided sex when I had symptoms it would be ok not to tell. Needless to say you can't have your period THAT often each month and I had sex when I shouldn't have and he contracted hsv2 from me. Needless to say the relationship ended soon after I told him I knew I had it and had never told him. It was a hard lesson I learned but one that's stuck with me for the last 23 years and I've always told before sex since then. It's just become a part of me now and I really don't think much about talking about it even to complete strangers now. I've only had 2 fellows ever decide it was too much risk for them. Had plenty more men decide my dogs , my kids and my crappy work hours were far too much to handle than my herpes believe it or not! Can't control many things with just a pill or two a day like you can herpes.
grace
WEll, you seem to have had no problem dating or letting this keep you from getting on with your life. Did you always tell the guys? And how was their reactions? I just wonder why such stigma?
oh congrats on passing your boards!!!
I transmitted twice in the first year I was infected. First time I had no idea I was infected. 2nd I was just plain stupid. Haven't transmitted it since then that I know of. all my long term partners tested negative for it and none of my short term partners ever came back to say they got it from me. I use condoms most of the time with new partners in the beginning and for the last 14 years I've been on suppressive therapy almost non-stop.
everyone sheds - even folks on suppressive therapy. It's as much bad luck as anything when you do transmit the virus as long as you are avoiding sex during obvious genital symptoms and anything going on down yonder.
grace
Grace
I have another question: You said you haven't transmitted it all these years. I was just curious if you always use protection or is it really possible to never be shedding. Because my husband has never shown any signs. Of course I really don't think I have either.
Grace,
Just wanted to drop you a line! I passed my NCLEX! I am on cloud nine!
sounds more like irritation or folliculitis than your herpes reoccuring. avoid sex while you have the rash though because both can trigger hsv2 shedding too.
grace
Well, went today and she said she was just taking a titer for hep b since I hadn't recieved my 3rd hep shot but had record for all other immunizations.
Well, I have another question. It is so weird that I have not even thought of this for 20 years and now I keep worrying about it. Well, sometimes when I shave down there I break out a little but goes right away but for the most part have always been real smooth. Well, right now I am broke out every where. It looks like pimples everywhere I shaved. Could this be an outbreak? It does not hurt or itch. Just looks like little pimples every where.
no one tests for herpes.
some insurances might but typically with group policies through employers you don't get insurance blood work done.
grace
But do you know if that is common practice in the health care?
your employee has the right to test you for anything they want. it's up to you to ask what you are being tested for and why.
grace
Is that even legal. I just wonder since it is in the health care field if they feel like that is something they think they should know. Like if you have had chicken pox.
Well, I didn't really figure they did but was just wondering. I guess this just has me all freaked out now.
And thank you.
oh congrats on the new job!!!
typically they do not test for herpes with the blood work for jobs. You have the right to ask EXACTLY what you are tested for.
grace
Grace,
Well, I got the job in ICU. I go for my physical Wednesday. Just curious when they draw blood they will not be testing for herpes will they. I mean that should not be anyone elses business. Am I right?
they do more questionnaires like offering to test folks for free for herpes. asking them before hand if anyone had every diagnosed them as having genital herpes. when they test +, that's how they come up with the how many folks knew they were infected and how many didn't before testing.
also the NHANES studies are done by our government. they test for zillions of things, one of which is herpes. Our 1 in 4 stats comes from those tests actually.
grace
I even read one place where it said they didn't think people should have blood tests done routinely. Why? If it is really so contagious why aren't more people tested? And I was thinking everything you read says that like 1 in 4 already has it but like 90% don't know it so basicly only like 1 in 40 KNOW they have it. How can they actually come up with figures like 1 in 4 if only like 1 in 40 have been tested positive.
Thanks for your time
Some of those stats are like the proverbial comparing apples to oranges. You can't really lump them all together because they have completely different meanings.
Of folks who do transmit the virus ( which overall is low if the infected partner knows that they are infected and can avoid sex during any obvious symptoms ), 70% of them according to one study transmitted it when no obvious lesions were present. Now it's been awhile since I read the study but I think it was just a questionnaire where they asked someone newly diagnosed - did your partner have any symptoms. Most folks would say no unless they saw an obvious lesion present. If their partner didn't mention they were itchy or had some redness or something or even anal itching, they wouldn't know that their partner really was having symptoms but just didn't realize it. Make sense?
Good luck on your nclex! ICU can be very rewarding and stressful at the same time. It's a great place to start though for future jobs in other places too. of course the money is awesome too :)
grace
Ya know I just keep reading up on herpes now. It has kind of consumed me. Just wish I could go back to not thinking about it. It still just completely confuses me how you can read that with couples where one has it and the other doesn't the chance of spreading it only like 5%. Then right after that you will read it is highly contagious and 70% it is spread thru asymptomatic symptoms. I have read so many things that say ppl have gone for years without protection and just avoided sex during outbreaks without giving it to partner. Well, I have never had symptoms that I recognize so have me and my husband just lucked out. So, why do some articles say that they now think it is spread more during asymptomatic symptoms? I am confused!!!!!!
Well, I just scheduled to take my NCEX test and need to really start studying and I think I may have a job working in ICU as an RN. So maybe this will help me get my mind off everything. Thank you for listening.