What are the chances of me having herpes now?

So my girlfriend of a few months and I had sex for the first time today. I've known that she has hsv2 all along but she says she's never had an outbreak, and my chances of getting it are slim (I'm unsure of this...). We had unprotected sex and she is on birth control, I have a very hard time ejaculating with the ADHD and arthritis medications I'm on, so I'm positive I didn't ejaculate, at least not noticably. Also I kept my boxers on around the genitalia area so there was little skin to skin contact.  
I'm scared to death right now that I have contracted hsv2 from her. Can somebody please tell me the chances of me getting hsv2? I can't believe I did this. I'm praying and taking showers to wash this off but I don't know what to do. I really need some advice and some help with my situation.

[world78]

Your action may be very low risk by single encounter, its seem that you already aware of herpes virus, learn more about Viral shedding.

By the way Herpes is nothing to do with Ejaculation as you know its skin to skin contact.

Precaution is better than cure so always safe sex!

[CJC2011]

Here's what I gathered as far as transmission:

1. Wearing boxers, washing off afterwards and not ejaculating have very little/nothing to do with transmission of the virus.

2. The virus can be transmitted when there are no obvious symptoms, the rate of asymptomatic shedding seems vary.  If she recently contracted the virus, she will probably be shedding more often than if she had it for a few years.

3. Using condoms, avoiding sex when she has any symptoms attributed to herpes and her using daily suppressive therapy are the best methods to reduce the possibility of transmission.  

Is she 100% sure of her diagnosis?  How was she diagnosed?  It seems that there are a lot of people incorrectly diagnosed based on what I've read from this site and other sites.  

[mtb4ever]

When I said I didn't ejaculate I was thinking that would help with preventing her fluids from entering myself. And I guess that wouldn't help. As for how she was diagnosed, I don't know how exactly but it was about a year and a half ago.

[petal130]

Does your GF take suppressive therapy? Even if she doesn't, and you don't use condoms, there is a 96% chance annually that you WON'T get genital herpes. Add suppressive therapy and condoms and that goes up to 99%! Pretty darn good odds!

Here are odds based on female to male transmission of genital herpes.

FEMALE TO MALE RATE OF TRANSMISSION (HSV2 ONLY STATS IS NOT APPLICABLE FOR HSV1)

If you have 100 couples where the female has HSV2 but not the
male (these figures are over a year) the odds of female to male transmission
are, if you do nothing other than avoid sex during an outbreak, 4 men out of a
100 will get herpes in a year, or 4%. If you do go on a suppressive therapy then
it drops to 2 men out of a 100 in a year, or 2%. And if you use suppressive and
a condom the chances are 1 man out of a 100 will get herpes in one year or 1%.

The Valtrex and transmission study stats are based on having sex 2
times/week.

Become educated even further by reading the Herpes Handbook.
http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

[mtb4ever]

Thank you so much for those numbers, that's what I needed to hear.. It makes me feel much more at ease but obviously I'm still worried. After this encounter I can honestly say I can't see my self in a sexual relationship with anyone for years to come... It kind of scarred me. The anxiety and stress is really dragging me down.
Also, can somebody tell me what I should be looking for as far as symptoms go? I heard nothing will appear for a few weeks, but I would like to know what to look for in the next few weeks or even months. I've inspected my genitalia area and there are no red rashes or outbreaks of any kind, and I know I'm probably looking for the wrong stuff but just those little things make me feel a tiny bit better.
You have all been so helpfull and I appreciate all of your advice greatly. It's extremely relieving to know that people aren't judging me for my mistake but trying to make me feel less guilty so I can move on and make sure it NEVER happens again. Thank you all so much.

[petal130]

What was your mistake? You had sex with your girlfriend! Even if it was a one-night stand, none of us are here to judge.

There is absolutely NO reason to not continue to have a sex life! And to not have sex for years - good grief, why not? I have genital herpes, and my sex life is as good as ever. No reason to fear herpes, it's a mere skin condition, and if this is the worst that happens to me, I'll be blessed!

Know your own status (have you ever been tested?), know your partners status, and as such you can make educated decisions. The chance of transmission is incredibly small, perhaps you missed that part :-)

Have you talked about this all with your girlfriend? No reason to treat her like a leper.Showering does nothing but make you smell purty, and I have to think it doesn't make your girlfriend feel very good about herself. Don't let herpes define your relationship.

[mtb4ever]

I guess I'll have to think of it as a skin condition, you're right, I'm letting my fear get the best of me. And about talking to her, I really haven't expressed my fear for the exact reasons you mentioned, I don't want to make her feel like I'm afraid of her and our relationship is conditional based on whatever circumstances I fear. I really don't want to lose her I'm jus freaking out like I usually do. I haven't been tested since this only happened last night, I'm going to try to get tested in about 2 weeks. I'm going to assume I haven't contracted anything until I get a sure result from a doctor.

Thank you all again for your advice and help, I really appreciate it so much!

[Still_Worried_]

I agree with cjc; make sure she confirms her diagnosis, especially since she's never had symptoms.  HSV acquisition may happen without symptoms, but most people on the lookout will notice a new infection.  Also, several people have had low positives via IgG blood test confirm as truly negative either via Biokit or Western Blot.

As for risk, it was VERY low for you, especially since you're a man (female to male transmission is lower than male to female).  Don't let this define your relationship; if you truly love this woman, this is a minor deal.  On top of that, I'm sure we'll see a cure (or medication that can suppress outbreaks & shedding close to 100%) in our lifetimes.  However, if you're not sure how you feel about her, take it slow, even refrain from genital sex until you make a decision (oral sex has very very low risk).  I know it's hard to shake; I went through the exact same experience.  But as hard as it is, try not to worry.

[gracefromHHP]

testing is 2 weeks isn't necessary unless you are just testing to see what your general status is for herpes because you've never been tested for it before.

Petal already pointed out just how low your risk of contracting hsv2 is. definitely talk about this with your partner and let her know that you are concerned and would like to take more precautions. If she goes on daily suppressive therapy and you use condoms, your risk of contracting is equal to the risk of pregnancy with ideal use of the birth control pill. would you call off a relationship because of a fear or pregnancy? probably not and I think we can all agree that dealing with a child for a lifetime is far more work than dealing with herpes right?

you say you like this gal and don't want to lose her so work on communicating with her. it's one of the most important parts of a relationship!

grace