What else could it be?

I'm a woman in my early 30s living in a Muslim country without access to competent sexual health care. In late January, I had unprotected sex with a risky partner. A few days later, I developed some serious itching totally unlike a yeast infection. I thought I was having an allergic reaction to my fabric softener or something. A day later, I developed small red sores, both anal and labial, and I thought I might be having an initial outbreak of herpes. The pain got so bad that I asked a friend to take me to a doctor, but like I said, the medical care here is not great compared to U.S. standards, and obgyns hardly ever deal with STDs. I finally got a cursory exam, but they did not culture the sores. I asked the doctor for a prescription for Valtrex, just in case. I developed a fever, the lymph nodes in my groin were swollen, the pain was unbearable, and I couldn't work for two days (I couldn't even sit or stand up because of the pain). After a few days, the symptoms started getting better, and my sores became itchy and crusty. Everything cleared up after about four weeks.

Since then, I have had occasional "outbreaks" that start with that strange itching and general discomfort (like I'm coming down with a slight cold) and sometimes result in visible sores, some labial but mostly anal (although nothing has been as bad as that first time). I don't take any medicine because it's not that bad. In between the outbreaks, everything looks clear (as far as I can see).

But here's the problem: I visited the U.S. a few weeks ago and got blood-tested for every STD under the sun, just in case. And the results for herpes Type 1 and 2 were both negative. Everything was negative, actually. One minor problem is that I didn't get blood-tested for HPV because they were supposed to test my pap smear, only they lost it. By the time they called me to get another test, I had already left the States.

A little background: I've had minor anal itching for a few years now, nothing that's ever concerned me because I know that lots of things can cause that - smoking, poor diet, lack of exercise, etc. Sometimes it gets worse because of scratching during sleep, but I can generally control that. Since the first incident, the itching has gotten worse, even when I'm not experiencing an "outbreak". Sometimes I use Travocort (an antifungal cream) and that seems to help, but I'm not sure if it's the antifungal properties or just the cream that relieves the itching. Also, I've noticed lately that some sores don't look like herpes sores - they look like chancres (but I know they're not because they itch).

I have had one regular sexual partner since February (not the same guy). He's never had any symptomatic outbreaks of anything. He knows I thought I had herpes, and we take precautions (no sexual contact at all during outbreaks, condoms every time), so I doubt that it's something we keep passing back and forth. I'm trying to convince him to get tested, but premarital sex is really stigmatized here, and he doesn't want to see a doctor. All my tests were negative, anyway, so I'm not sure what good it would do.

There were about seven months between the first outbreak and my blood test, plenty of time to develop antibodies, and I read that false negatives for herpes are very low. So what else could it be?? HPV? Would warts cause the itch, and would they appear and disappear in cycles? A recurrent extra-vaginal yeast infection? Would that cause the sores? And what could cause the fatigue, unless that's all me and maybe that's what's triggering these occurrences?