Whats Next? Ive got Questions

I was just told that I have HSV1-Genital which my Dr says I wouldve gotten from my partner through oral sex. Hearing this I asked him how this couldve happened since in 3 yrs weve been together Ive never scene her w/ a cold soar once and he said she doesnt have to have a cold soar to have it and spread it. So my first question is how common is this (oral-genital)? Ive read that around 9 in 10 people have HSV 1, is that true? Now that Ive got HSV 1 Genital how often should I expect outbreaks? Since she has HSV 1 Oral and I have it Genital can she get Genital HSV 1 through intercourse? I know she said that before we got together that her STD tests all came back negative as did my results, so could she still test negative even though she has HSV 1? Is it pretty safe to say that if you have been a sexually active adult that you have HSV 1 Oral or Genital? Could I have some how contracted HSV 1 Genital before our relationship and am now just showing signs of it? Please help me w/ these questions b/c I dont know how to tell her that I received HSV 1 Genital from her.

[gracefromHHP]

In the US, 60% of adults have hsv1. It's very common.  Most folks who have it, don't get obvious cold sores to know that they have it.  You also can contract hsv1 genitally and the majority of the time it's from receiving oral sex.  there does not have to be an obvious cold sore present in order for the virus to be active and able to be transmitted to a partner.  

Hsv1 genitally tends not to reoccur very often or shed very often.  About 1/2 of folks who have it, never get another ob. Of those who do, the average is 1 additional ob the 1st year and then 1 ob every other year. Only a small percentage of folks get recurrences more often than that.  

since your wife has hsv1 orally and you have it genitally, just avoiding sex anytime you have genital symptoms is all you need to do. Hopefully recurrences will be few and far between and won't be much of an issue for the both of you.

I assume you had a lesion culture that came back as hsv1+?

so how do you talk to your wife about this? Just be honest about it. Let her know that you had genital symptoms, went to be seen about them and weren't you shocked to find out that you have genital herpes. Explain to her what your provider told you plus what you've learned here.

grace

[WhatsNow]

Thank you for your post it answers a lot of the questions I have. I am 99% sure she has Oral HSV 1 since I brought it up yesterday through a story of seeing a child at work w/ a cold soar and she said that she has had cold soars before. Its is just weird to me that after 3 yrs together and the countless sexual encounters between us that all of a sudden now this happens. At first I thought she cheated on me and that I had HSV 2 since I did not know HSV 1 could go to you genitals. Thinking she cheated on me broke my heart and I called a friend of mine who knows a lot about this and thankfully calmed me down. I was really in the dumps about this for a while thinking it was HSV 2 and knowing that you mostly get it through sexual contact I thought the only way I got it was from her and that she must have cheated b/c why would i just be getting this now 3 yrs into a relationship! But then I learned a lot about HSV 2 and that she probably didnt cheat on me and then I find out it was HSV 1 that I had. This made total since to me since we have been under a lot more stress then normal recently and 2 days after our last oral sex encounter this started happening. So now that I have all of this is it common for people w/ HSV 1 Genital to go on meds to suppress this further so it never happens? Is there any way to tell how many break outs I will have if any?

[petal130]

It took five years of oral sex (very frequent) until my partner transmitted his oral HSV1 to my genitals. So yes, it can definitely happen.

I don't take suppressive therapy, as a matter of fact I believe it's not even recommended as to its efficacy for genital HSV1. Genital HSV1 causes very few OBs (maybe 1-2 the first year, and one every other year after that - sometimes never again)... and shedding as well is very infrequent. I had one doozy initial outbreak, and one very minor one in the almost two years that I've had it. Quite honestly, I never ever think about my genital herpes - so much other crap in my life to deal with, herpes is small potatoes!

[gracefromHHP]

when it comes to hsv1 genitally, about 1/ 2 of folks infected with it never get another ob. Of those who do, the average is 1 additional ob the first year and then 1 ob every other year after that. Only a small percentage of folks get recurrences more often.

Odds are you won't be bothered much by this. since your wife already has hsv1 orally, just avoiding sex whenever you have genital symptoms to err on the side of caution usually is all it takes. She has significant protection against contracting hsv1 genitally from you.

No need for suppressive therapy for you at this point unless you end up being one of the few who get recurrences more often.

grace