This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
A little about myself. I am 22 years old and I have been diagnosed with genital hsv 1 :( I was told that it is not a big deal and it is up to me if i want to disclose or not being that oral hsv 1 is much more contagious and obviously more visible to everyone. I am afraid to tell my parents espiecially my mom. Shes always giving me speeches about STD's and I felt I have let her down. I was given the virus through oral sex by my bf who denies having hsv 1 through a negative blood tests. I know I got it from him as I have been faithful and sexually active with him only. Here are some questions I would like to be helped me:
1. Do I have to tell my parents? I know Im at a age that I can make my own decisions but Im scared they will find out since we all live together :(
2. Im afraid of passing this on to my siblings through toilets or eating utensils. Is this possible?
3. Will I get ocular herpes or anything else related to oral herpes assuming that I also contracted this too? I have never had cold sores or itching on my lips or anything but what are the chances.
4. I am not with my boyfriend anymore. How do I tell future partners about my hsv 1 without sounding like im a leper because this is how I feel right now :'(
This has been hard for me to deal with as this is constantly on my mind and I am constantly checking my vagina for sores or cuts. I was diagnosed through culture by the way. I am scared that I will spread this to myself or my eyes or to someone else.
If oral hsv 1 isnt a big deal why do people make a big deal over hsv 1 genital being that its less contagious? This is what im sturggling with more the fact that I am labeled.
One more question: what is your take on dating sites do you think i should try them? I have read a lot of people signing up but have found the sites useless for people with genital hsv 1 is this true? With this it seems like a lot of people dont disclose there status and im just confused and scared.
Does genital hsv 1 cause long or short term side effects on myself or a future baby?
First of all: how were you diagnosed with genital hsv1? Swab, blood test?
Genital hsv1 is known for shedding way less than hsv2, meaning that transmission is unlikely. If you have it only genitally, you cannot get symptoms orally or anywhere in your head - that's because the virus is only 'living' in your genital area. And it cannot travel to your mouth or eyes, for instance, unless it's also 'living' in there. Since you said you never experienced cold sores, most probably you only caught it genitally, not orally.
As for telling your parents, it's up to you, really. You don't need to tell them to avoid transmission, as there's no way you'll transmit it unless you have sex with someone. Toilets and towels are not plausible transmission routes, as the virus does not last much outside the body.
so if my water breaks my baby will be at risks for contracting hsv 1? :( I would feel horrible if that were to happen. I am not up to speed with how pregnancy at the hospital occurs but do doctors know when your water breaks or do they take you in weeks before giving birth.
heartfluttersflyawayplz gave you a partially wrong info...the only risk of giving herpes to your baby is if you're active shedding the virus during vaginal delivery. It has nothing to do with your water breaking.
In such scenario, it's simple to avoid transmission...if you are getting an obvious outbreak during delivery, your doctor will then perform a c section to avoid transmission.
Besides, you might take antivirals during pregnancy, specially during the last trimester, to avoid any outbreaks...but that might be very unnecessary in your case, since hsv1 sheds very little.
I have genital hsv1 and I get an outbreak once every year of so, it's very infrequent. Don't worry about passing it to your children...if you have all the info you need to avoid transmission, it won't happen!
Yes my swab was typed hsv 1. My blood test were negative due to recent infection. My GYN said to come back at the 6 month mark to test again for more accurate IGG. She said it was too soon to test for anything yet since I was diagnosed in January. I had to beg her to test me for HIV which came back negative.
Having hsv scares me and I know I cant get rid of it but it just makes me feel icky and I have lost my self confidence. I put up a front with my family acting like my normal self but then when I go to my room I cry myself to sleep because I cant believe im going through this. I havent told anyone but my brother and he has been very supportive. My ex denies it and my current bf has not been speaking to me after I told him I was diagnosed with hsv 1 he told me he did not want to contract anything and wanted to stay clean :(
no need to return for further blood testing. you already know what you have and where you have it. testing with blood again is wasting your time and money to be honest especially since even the best blood tests for herpes still miss 1 out of every 10 hsv1 infections.
statistically 1 out of every 2-3 people you know has hsv1 either orally or genitally. it's THAT common. It's not a part of routine std testing either so many folks have no idea they have it. Also since hsv1 is harder to detect on blood tests than hsv2 is, many folks who have it, don't test accurately anyways :( if your current partner hasn't been tested for it, a good idea for him to do so. same with future partners, make sure they get tested to know their own status since you can still contract hsv2 as well as you can't make educated decisions about decisions about sex until you know who has what anyways.
so my take on the herpes dating sites is they aren't any better or any worse than any regular sites. I've used both herpes related and non-herpes related sites and they all have their ups and downs. lots of folks I wouldn't want to date on them both!! Don't settle for someone because you know you have herpes - not worth it since so many people have it!!also keep in mind that herpes isn't the only std out there - be smart and talk about all std's with partners before sexual contact.
The risk of transmitting herpes to a baby during labor is less than 1%. It can happen but the odds of such is very low since you've had hsv1 since before you got pregnant. As was already said, should you have a recurrence near the time of delivery, a c section will be done to protect your baby. to give you something to compare the risk to, the over all risk of having a baby with a birth defect is 3% - the risk of transmitting herpes is less.
give yourself time to deal with the idea of all of this. It does get easier over time. also don't think every potential future partner will act like these 2 have, most folks are very accepting of it :)
Its hard not to think that everyone will act like that :( they werent very accepting and it hurts so much. Im dealing with this all alone it hard to put a front in front of everyone espiecially my mom :( i feel like i let her down the most its so unfair.
Now that i know that i have this its hard to deal with. And the transmission scares me the most because im scared my future bfs wont want to have sex with me :'(
hsv2 makes ti easier to contract hiv. a partner would have to have hiv in order for you to contract it. since only about 1% of folks in the US has hiv, the odds of you having contracted hiv is thankfully overall low. hsv1 genitally doesn't cause the same skin changes that hsv2 genitally does and the risk of contracting hiv isn't as high as it is with hsv2.
Thanks grace your awesome! I was thinking of meeting with an infectious disease doctor or a therapist because I feel like my self esteem has gone down a WHOLE LOT from what it use to be. I have my days when Im with family and Im sitting on the couch just staring into space. Then I have my other days when Im my normal self laughing making jokes and everything. I know im still normal its just hard to think that i now have something in me thats sleeping and will come up to remind me of how I got it.
it's normal to get the blues when first diagnosed as having herpes. give yourself some time and if you can't move forward with it on your own within a few months, seek out the help of a counselor or therapist. An infectious disease provider wouldn't be appropriate for this and frankly many of them are only good at testing for herpes, not giving education and support :(
Keep yourself busy so you don't have time to fixate on the IDEA of having herpes. it's something you have, not what you are - there is soooooo much more to you than just a virus that by the time we retire, 80% of the population in the US alone has.
Is an HIV test reliable if taken within 2 month of last sexual encounter? Mine was negative but Im freaking out because my body feels so weird. My left arm has been tingling ever since i was diagnosed with hsv 1 and ive been to a nuerologists and she tested my nerves and said everything looked fine. Ive been going to physical therapy and it hasnt been helping the tingling is still there. I feel it more when the cold hits my arm :( Is this suppose to be happening? I was reading on PHN and it says it cant be that.
Im so depressed right now. Dealing with this is so hard. Ive heard that transmission from a mom to a baby is less than 1% that the risk of having a baby with deficits and other things is more is this true? Im so afraid of going into a new relationship. The guy i was talking to dump me because he said this was not something he wanted to deal with even though i told him out of anger that he will end up with it anyway as he got older. I recently started talking to another guy and he brushed me off once i told him. he said he has never been exposed and has stopped talking to me completely.
I feel like im setting myself for rejection with this I feel so hopeless. Can someone give me tips to better deal with this. I have my days when Im ok then other days i feel disgusted with myself.
yes it is true - it's an overall 3% risk of having a baby that has a birth defect and less than 1% having a baby with herpes. it really is that low of a risk.
depends on which hiv test as to its accuracy 2 months post encounter. you'd have to ask about the one you had on the hiv forum. it's very low risk in general that you would get hiv anyways thankfully.
it's just herpes ,, no reason to be disgusted by it . if this is the worst thing life ever hands you, you should consider yourself very blessed. Give yourself time, really dealing with it will get better :)
Thank you Grace your so helpful! I wish you could be my GYN!! I feel like everytime I call my GYN she thinks oh heres this crazy girl again. Im always asking her questions and her response is always its so common and almost everyone has them and shrugs her shoulders whenever I ask her a question.
The bf and getting to know situation is whats getting to me. No one seems to want to date me because of that. The two guys i was talking to dumped me because of it. One of them was my high school bf and the other I met in college and both have not been answering my calls and have blocked me from everything. Its hard not to feel disgusting and unwanted :(
I always read the forums to get a little resurrance. I know theres more to me than this its just so hard that people are so ignorant.
For the pregnancy thing, I read a forum that said that doctors sometimes dont prescribe medication to patients with ghsv 1 because its little to no recurrence. Does this remin true?
Also I saw on another forum that hsv is in semen and vaginal fluids is this also true? Would leaving a little pee by accident on a toilet cause someone to catch hsv?
I've grown a little paranoic and have been looking at everyones lips to see if they have sores and have had no luck :( This is taking me more time then I thought of getting use to.
My GYN did an HIV blood test and called me with the negative results after a week. Is 2 months from exposure enough? MY GYN said HIV is symptom less and takes a while to appear. Im going back in July to retest for everything. Its just so scary because my body feels different and no one is telling me whats wrong with my arm :(
I think the itch i have is irritation. Im trying to to touch it because then it will itch more. I called my doctor and she said that im fine that im over thinking things and to just relax. How long is this itching suppose to last? I am not on medication do you think I should get on it to stop the itching? I wash everyday and change my underwear a lot. Its the area where my pubic hair is not exactly on my vagina
The virus needs to be massaged into the skin and find a break in it to actually infect cells. Therefore a plain liquid sitting on his stomach won't do it.
The same thing applies to saliva. You might find the virus in saliva in oral infections, but saliva itself won't do the work.
Also, does hsv 1 usually come out negative in the blood tests? My ex called me the other day and told me that he did a repeat blood test to be sure that he wasnt the one to give me his hsv. He said he tested negative for both types. How is this possible? My doctor said he has it and is not testing for it or he is lying to me just so that I can feel bad. He had a visible cold sore the week after I broke out and had the flu. His son also developed a cold and had a fever of 105. Im 100% sure I the hsv 1 from him. I was negative for everything before meeting him. How is this possible.
Also, are genital hsv 1 detected on blood tests? I know that it comes out negative sometimes for people but if they have a lesion swabbed then the negative blood tests means nothing right?
Herpes is not routinely tested for and it's never a reason to keep you from landing a job.
already discussed the issues with testing in a prior reply. scroll back up and read it again :) you know your partner gets cold sores. he has hsv1 even though it's not being reflected on the blood testing he is getting done. If he needs to confirm it in his own mind, his next cold sore he should be seen within 48 hours of its appearance for a lesion culture and typing, preferably a pcr swab if he can get it done.
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