Wondering???????

I have spent my whole life searching for not the perfect person but someone who complements me. I finally found this person and she is beautiful inside and out. A few days ago we were having a conversation on the phone and she said she had something to tell me. She told me that she contracted herpes from a former partner and that she hasn’t had an outbreak since when she was first diagnosed with the disease and that was three years ago. Since she told me this I been indifferent about our relationship and I really don’t want things to change now that I know this. I done some research but I am mixed answer telling this and that about the disease and not answering any of my questions. I just need to know can I contract this disease by kissing her if there is no trace of a breakout on her face. If we ever get to the point where sexual intercourse came up is there a chance that I get herpes if there are no breakouts or visible breakout in the vaginal area even if I use a condom. For I am so confused and I have develop feelings for this person and I don’t want to be a jerk and stop communicating with her because of this disease. She is still human and deserves a chance at happiness just like any other person. I need some help if anyone with knowledge of this subject can answer these two questions I would appreciate it. Thank you so much.

[gracefromHHP]

first things first - does she have hsv1 or hsv2 genitally?

have you been tested to know your own status?

1 out of every 4-5 people you know has genital herpes. it's very common. 1 out of every 2-3 has oral herpes. it's hard to escape!

grace

[reallyconfused31]

She has HSV 2.

[gracefromHHP]

you'll need tested to know your own status too. odds are you've never been tested for it.

so what does it mean if you date someone who has hsv2? Well if you two did nothing but avoid sex anytime she had anything going on genitally, you'd be 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. If she takes daily suppressive therapy and you use condoms in addition as precautions, you are on average 99% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. To give you something to compare this low risk to, the odds of her becoming pregnant if you just used the bc pill for pregnancy prevention are 8%.  So she's far more likely to become pregnant than it is that you'd contract hsv2 from her :)

keep asking questions!

[reallyconfused31]

We have never had sex. I commend her for telling me because she did not have to tell me that shows what kind of person she is. On Oct 24th I was tested for everything. Ive been tested for it. I try to go every six months so I can be sure not if I sleep around unprotected or anything like that. This information was helpful. But why havent she had an outbreak since she first contracted the disease, as you can tell I am very uneducated on STD's where I should be considering I known people with them before.

[gracefromHHP]

just make sure herpes was included with your testing, it's not a part of routine std testing so assume nothing and check your last test results.

the average number of recurrences a year is 4-6 but it can average from 0 to 24.  ask her if she treats her herpes. you can also ask how she was originally diagnosed and make sure it wasn't just a visual diagnosis too. sometimes it's just assumed if it's genital that it has to be hsv2 which isn't always accurate since hsv1 genitally is also very common too.

[reallyconfused31]

I really appreciate the information you gave me about herpes. Me and this person have been seeing each other for a while and I really like her. I have been tested for herpes and I dont have it. She spoke of a prescribed drug I could take to lessen or keep me from catching herpes. Is there a certain drug and if so could you tell me the name of it.

[gracefromHHP]

no, you taking daily suppressive therapy doesn't lower your risk of contracting herpes from her. she needs to take daily suppressive therapy to lower your risk.