Worried

[CHASENESSA71]

I am a 38 yr old female, I have been with my boyfriend for the last three yrs, and the last two have been unprotected, he just told me last night that he had herpes since he was 16, and has never had a flare up since he has been with me but now he has and he didnt want to have sex last night & told me that was the reason. How concerned should I be.

[gracefromHHP]

Definitely this is something you both need to talk more about.  You need to find out how he was tested and if he knows what type he has. Ask if he's been taking suppressive therapy to lower your risk too.

Call your provider and ask for a type specific herpes igg blood test too to see what your status is. Once you know your own hsv1 and hsv2 status, you can together talk about what precautions to take from here on out in your relationship if you are negative for the type he has at this point. If you plan on having children in the future, definitely discuss his going on daily suppressive therapy to lower your risk.

The herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com is a terrific resource for the both of you. I recommend you both read it.

keep asking questions as you have them :)

grace

[kaoticblue87]

Well, the best thing that you should do is get tested yourself to find out your hsv status anyway. From now on, you should use protection to help prevent you from acquiring the virus if you do not already have it. I dunno about you, but I would be very angry with him not telling you had it at the begining of the relationship, especially risking giving it to you with unprotected sex.