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Avatar universal

Worrying or Valid Concern?

I am a 32 YO male with clinically diagnosed severe depression and anxiety (GAD/OCD). Recently I started worrying about STDs even though I haven't had any symptoms of any nor have any of my partners came back to me and said they've gotten something after sex with me. However, after reading an article about herpes, it said the vast majority of people who have it, don't even know they have it. Then the article said that people can get it without any physical symptoms like rashes, etc. but that on onset, it can cause flu like symptoms. That triggered me remembering about 8 years ago when I had what I thought was the flu (fever) while dating a girl who told me she had herpes.  She told me she had herpes after I had fingered her down there and while we never had full intercourse, she did perform oral sex on me during our relationship and I did touch her down there. She told me she was on Valtrex and hadn't had an outbreak for quite some time (I think she said 1 year+).

I guess what I am getting at is, how many people (does the average Joe) without any symptoms go and get tested for herpes? Are there different severity of strands of herpes? I.e. if I have never had a physical symptom of it, but if I do possibly have it, how likely is it I could pass it along to a future partner and if they got it, would they/could they get a more severe form of it where they actually have symptoms? I surely don't want to unknowingly pass along the disease to someone else, but I also don't know if I am freaking out over nothing as usual and shouldn't get tested. The biggest fear is I get tested for it, have it, and then I feel like I have one more bit of baggage/dent to the self esteem for future relationships but of course I don't want to keep worrying about having it and then feel guilty for possibly passing it on to future partners. Any statistics and/or advice would be greatly appreciated.
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55646 tn?1263660809
You are testing because of a particular experience, not because you are part of the general population.  However, as I said the experience simply doesn't put you at any measurable risk!

Terri
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi Terri,
I spoke with my therapist who gave me mixed advice filled with qualifiers and then ended our session before we finished covering my concerns about this issue. So please bear with me and give me your advice...

I know that the CDC does not recommend regular testing for Herpes for the general population. I guess in your expert medical opinion, does the experience I had ~8 years ago make me different than the general population?

Thanks.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I realize you can't speculate as to whether I may have gotten Herpes from any other encounter but focusing on just the encounter I described to you (the one ~8 years ago), you would say I shouldn't worry about that getting it from that particular encounter though?
Helpful - 0
55646 tn?1263660809
I have no idea what portion of the population gets tested for HSV 2.  Not even a wild guess.

It is possible to have asymptomatic herpes and your partner then to get asymptomatic herpes, yes.  It has to do with the persons' immune system more than the virus.  

If you have herpes, it is far far more likely that you got it from one of the other sexual encounters.  Since 80% of people with HSV 2 don't know it, you are more likely to acquire HSV 2 from someone who is infected and doesn't know it than someone who does and is being careful and having no risk sexual encounters.

Terri
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi,
I had no major break in the skin on my hands; being OCD I was extremely concerned about this so I was on the look out and made sure to wash my hands vigorously after masturbating her. She was an RN and told me at the time our activities couldn't lead to me getting HSV-2, although it sounds like that may not be the case based on your response.  Being OCD, I was really stupid to continue to have any sexual interaction with her after finding out she had it (she told me after the first touching).

I've had 10 partners in total: 2 or 3 before this and 7 or 8 since then (I'm not sure on the exact breakdown given that this was ~8 years ago). The two before this incident I had unprotected sex with and I've had sex unprotected with 5 of the 8 since. All the unprotected sex was in monogamous relationships, although I know that doesn't matter.

If you had to put a wild guess (not holding you to it) what percent of the population do you think actually gets HSV-2 testing done, either regularly or even once?  

And more importantly, is it possible to have asymptomatic HSV-2 that is asymptomatic for me, but if I were to give to a partner, it is NOT asymptomatic to them??

Are the strands of the virus different I.e. some strands cause symptoms or rashes, etc. and some don't? Or is the individual who reacts to the same virus differently?

Thanks.
Helpful - 0
55646 tn?1263660809
Well, you present an interesting situation.  About 80% of those infected are unaware of their infection.  About 16% of people between 14-49 in the US have HSV 2 infection, the most common cause if genital herpes in the US still.  

The situation you describe with the woman who had herpes is extremely low risk for so many many reasons.  There is no risk from her giving you oral sex and unless you had a major break in the skin on your hands, masturbating her is no risk.  If you were my patient, I would have no concerns about this encounter.

For a person diagnosed with these anxiety disorders, I'm not clear that I would recommend testing as it may, as you suggest, send you into a tail spin if you tested positive.  I hope that you have a therapist that you can discuss this with as you are kind of a special case in terms of testing.

I am a big believer in including testing for herpes in any STD screen as it is the most likely thing you would have, from a statistical point of view.  However, I have no idea about how many partners you've had, particularly with unprotected intercourse, so can't help with what your risks might be for this infection.  Perhaps it would help if you share this with me.

terri
Helpful - 0

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