i feel for you..i have herpes on my butt hole and the pain is soo immense..swelling it burns to pee i cant ebven wipe the pain is bad...my doctor told me to lube it up with petroleum jelly real good and take ibufrofin.it helps but the friction of my butt rubbin together kills me so i always have to lube
what testing have you had done so far?
Has your fiance had any herpes testing done yet?
For pain, try soaking in the tubby with a packet of aveeno bath thrown in or some some epsom salts. when you get out, go bottomless for as long as you can.
unless you have a medical reason not to, you can alternate tylenol and advil for pain relief comparable to some narcotics - ie tylenol 1000mg at 6 am, advil 600 mg at 9 am, tylenol at noon, advil at 3pm etc.
dermoplast spray ( the blue can for the genital area, not the red can ), is a topical anesthetic you can use to spray on the genital area for pain relief. you can find it for under $10 at most drugstores.
did your provider give you any medications for herpes in case this is herpes?
grace