This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.
I have got myself into a very depressing situation. I feel very bad about what I have done, and I am writing to ask any female members to help me with some advice.
I work abroad, and dont see my girlfriend for months at a time. Unfortunately, our relationship has found the long distance quite stressful, and both of us have been feeling quite lonely. I ended up cheating on her...I didnt intend to, it was a low point for me emotionally, and I was persued by someone and had a weak moment and cheated.
From this encounter, which was protected, but involved unprotected genital contact, I have contracted HSV2.
Im currently going through the outbreak. It sucks, and my legs hurt.
Now I have the prospect of telling my girlfriend, and this is truly terrifying me. I love her a great deal, and the thought of losing her over this makes me feel sick - but yes, I am also aware of the fact I badly messed up, and probably dont deserve to be forgiven.
I would like to ask any women reading this, what advice would you give someone in my position?
This happened to me in December. My patter is abroad and cheated on me. He didn't tell me and also didn't know aparntly he had herpes. Anyhow ifI had of known I could of protected myself. I was hospitalized for ten says when I caught it. I couldn't use the bathroom and had a catheter. My arm was on acyclovir via drop. I can say it was most horrible pain of my life. Worse than childbirth. If I had the option to know I could catch it from my partner I could of had the choice to protect myself. IM really angry I wasn't given a human right to protect myself from this. Either way if you don't tell her She will find out eventually. Which would you prefer her finding out after she catches it. Which can result in her leaving you also the burden of your actions life long. Or tell her so she can make the choice to leave or stay. And the choice if she wants herpes or not.
Regardless this has destroyed my life right now and I'm scared of the next out break also I've become very obsessive about it.
thank you for your replies. To be honest the thought of not telling her didnt enter my mind, I would never put her at risk inthat way, and im sorry that experience happened to you, that really sucks.
I suppose really i wanted to know how I should tell her. part of me thought that it might be best for everyone if I told her i had a very minor outbreak that i hardly noticed but it bothered me a little so i went to the dr and he mentioned herpes so i got tested and had a positive result, but that was the first time i realised i had it.
This of course is a lie, but maybe I could save the relationship and cause her less pain.
The other option is just to tell her the whole truth so she can leave me.
It seems like such a huge waste for one mess up, but thats life i guess.
be truthful. you never, ever want to lie about something like this. once you lose trust in a relationship, it's far too hard to win it back from a partner. Better to potentially lose her by telling the truth than to keep her with a lie.
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