My girlfriend has HSV-2 genital herpes. I never gave it to her. She was diagnosed with it from a past relationship. I don't have HSV-2 herpes, but I think I may have HSV-1 ("Cold sores") herpes, as ever since I can remember as a kid I had three cold sores on my lower lip, small but annoying and they re-appear every 4-5 years or less frequently but they show up sometimes. I'm terrified of herpes, even though I pretend to my girlfriend that I'm okay with it. She is a very good looking girl and has the perfect body and a super personality. She was in tears the day she heard she had herpes, and I realised it would affect our relationship.
Every time she has an outbreak she tells me beforehand and we abstain from sexual activity. It's quite sad really. But I adore her so I accept it, and we watch movies instead, besides she's a good cook and makes us a good meal. We love food so it's an acceptable replacement (!) .
On Sunday 12th August, more than 3 weeks ago and about 10 days after her outbreak, my girlfriend and I had just started playing around (meaning kissing first). She got naked. I got naked.
She likes it when I spit on her vagina. I know it's naughty, but she saw it in some video and it turns her on. I bent down to spit on her vagina, and immediately felt a tiny drop of what I imagine was my own saliva, strike me back in my open left eye. I didn't really react to this at all but (maybe because I was a bit freaked out) we didn't have intercourse. I went into the bathroom and washed my hands with soap. I went to sleep in her bed. I sleep straight between the two pillows touching my face, never on a pillow. The next day the thought of having been splattered in the eye by my own saliva after it had first touched her vagina and then immediately afterwards my eye, really scared me. Could my saliva have first picked up herpes before it flew back into my eye? I did some research online and came across some sites that spoke of washing your eye with plenty of water if you were ever exposed to anything. So I did. I got in the shower and tried to keep my eye open while I let water pour over it. Quite a difficult exercise, as the water burns a little - I think it's chlorinated. Anyway, I stopped rinsing my eye under the shower, but continued to feel frightened. Anyway, in the days following the "spat-saliva-on-vagina-and-got-hit-with-a-droplet-of-my-own-bouncing-saliva-back" incident, I became super stressed. I stayed in-doors a lot, and on my computer researching everything I could think of on herpes. A lot of it scary. Your website gave good information on herpes and I thought I'd ask a question on this forum. After the spat-on/bounced-back-spit incident, I experienced a bit of blurriness, and both my eyes seemed to have become quite light-sensitive. However, I figured that I may have spent a lot of hours on the computer getting stressed over this. Also, I experienced only a little bit of redness one morning. I have had no other symptoms of any kind. No watering eyes, no red eyes, no pain, just, as I said, a bit of sensitivity to light for about a week - but again, it may only have been my over-active imagination. I did work late a few nights. I have been known to stress out for no reason. My questions are:
1. could my spit have "suddenly" picked up some herpes molecules in a split-second? I have even looked up how liquids bounce off a hand (in slow-motion) on YouTube, or how much vagina-surface my saliva may have touched before bouncing back.
2. is herpes transmitted so quickly that it can be picked up by saliva in a split-second?
3. could my eye suddenly contract herpes?
Yes, I am quite scared, please let me know what to do...
exactly what is naughty about spitting on her vagina if it turns her on? really!!!!
no, you didn't get hsv2 from your saliva bouncing back up into your eye.
so I assume from your post you've never been tested for herpes to know your own status? You really need to seek that out. You and your gf can't make educated decisions about what precautions to take until you know who has what. assume nothing about your status and seek out testing - it's something you should've done before being sexually active with your partner.
so you are obviously stressed by the idea that your gf has hsv2. Did you know that if you two did nothing but avoid sex any time she has anything going on genitally, you are 96% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her? If you also add condoms into your precautions as well as she takes daily suppressive therapy, your risk is decreased and you are 99% likely each year NOT to contract hsv2 from her. To give you something to compare it to, if you two took no birth control precautions but for her to be on the pill, she'd be 92% likely each year NOT to become pregnant. Does she take daily suppressive therapy? it lowers your risk as well as means less dinner and a movie only nights.
Thank you thank you for this quick response! What a great service this platform is! I have only just found it in my desperate need for answers. I must have read every post on this website related to herpes hoping for some answers.
I'm still flabbergasted at how herpes works (or doesn't work)...
So you're saying that in that split-second of spit flying back into the eye off her vagina, that there was no way it could have contracted a live herpes virus...? (Thank God!) But does that mean herpes is strictly only skin-to-skin contact? Does it not travel inside (or via) saliva? Are there no recorded cases of people getting ocular herpes from having a herpes-vagina squirt liquid into a face? Some couples even have their mouths open in receipt of the gushing fluid when she ejaculates...! I think a woman ejaculating like this is beautiful, but am trying to work out if this is a likely way of contracting herpes on the face or even in the eyes. I know they may all be silly questions, but for me living with a gf with herpes, these questions keep coming up so any detailed answers are right now very valuable, so we can get our sex-lives back.
Herpes has really changed our sex lives.
I used to make her cum by inserting my middle finger in her vagina and getting her to squirt. But after we learned about her herpes condition, we stopped that for fear that herpes would spread all over the bed (and onto our bodies) with her moisture flying everywhere. She is a super-squirter! It's really sad because she is also scared to contaminate me for fear of her juices flying everywhere. So, it's left our sex lives in a dismal state. We really want to conquer this and have fun like we used to.
Anyway... thank goodness!
To answer your questions. I was tested and did not have it at the time my gf had herpes. We have always used a condom following her discovery that she had herpes. Which is also a question: how come we may have had sex on several occasions before she found out and I missed getting it altogether?
Yes, she takes suppressive medication; I just don't know how often.
I do not think she has HSV-1.
Is there a likelihood that she can touch her vagina and then her face and get herpes on her face and on her eyes? (Ocular herpes) She does touch herself a lot during sex; she is very tactile.
Anyway, thank you so much for your quick response which immediately made me feel more relaxed. That single second-line answer made me breathe out more easily!
no, you don't have to worry about herpes getting all over the bed dear. it just doesn't work that way as far as transmission.
no, herpes isn't going to be transmitted through just her vaginal fluids or saliva to you. herpes can be present in those fluids but it's poorly transmitted that way.
why didn't you contract herpes before she knew she had it? already posted how low your risk is without taking much effort at all. you really should be more surprised if you contract it than surprised that you didn't!!!
she needs to be taking her herpes antivirals daily to protect you. talk to her and be sure of what she is taking and how often. you two have so limited your sex life needlessly :(
she won't give herself a herpes infection on her face from touching her genitals.
thank you so much, Grace. You're a darling for being so quick to answer. We'll try and expand our repertoire again. Thank goodness for a forum like this. I hope it has been useful for others as well. And I hope I haven't been silly with my questions. Thank you for your non-judgmental approach and sense of humour. Bless you all!
I'm just wondering, you said she was a squirter, so is my gf, as grace said you are not likely to contract the hpv virus, so if she squirts all over you, you are fine? Not likely to get it? And if she takes a medicine that contracts the break outs, does that mean not using a condom, is not all that bad ? Like your more likely to get it without one, but what are the chances you will if you don't use one?
Hi.. Recently I found out my girlfriend has gential herpes. I'm extremely worried about catching it and I don't want to end the relationship. We haven't had sex yet but we plan on it. Can you tell me a few dos and donts? She told me that I wouldn't be able to perform oral sex on her but everything else such as kissing, rubbing our viginas together, fingering her, and her going down on me is safe. Is this true? I'm really scared
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