diagnosed yesterday

I was diagnosed yesterday with genital herpes and feel completely lost I am in a 2 yr relationship neither of us have strayed where has this come from? Does this affect my sex life with my partner now? Should condoms always be worn? Even though my partner has no symptoms is it possible my partner has this too?? I really am at a loss here please help!!

[dolfan90]

How were you diagnosed? If it was a visual test, I would go back for a blood test.  Your partner should get tested as well because the virus can lay dormaint for a long time, and either one of you could have brought it into the relationship... But usually your first outbreak is your worst, so that might clue you in to when the virus was actually caught. If you have been with your partner and only your partner for the 2 years, chances are he already has it, but until your partner is diagnosed with herpes, condoms couldnt hurt, even thought they arent going to protect you 100%.

[anon86]

Hiya I was diagnosed but what the doctor could see he took the test I have to wait 2 weeks for the results! I have 110% only been with my partner I have said he should go and get tested now and he is going too. Do condoms need to be used all the time from now on?? This virus is totally going to change everything! I do not know much about it only what I have researched today and I am not liking what I am reading!

[dolfan90]

if you both are diagnosed, then it is your own preference to wear a condom.. but they do not protect you fully. because even when there is not a breakout the virus can still be transferred. the virus can be caught by a man even if he is wearing a condom, because the base of his penis is not covered. And it can be transferred orally also; meaning if he were to perform oral sex on you then there is a chance that he could get a breakout around his mouth also... and vise versa... if you were to perform it on him, if he has herpes on his genitals.  Valtrex is the only medicine that supposably helps prevent the transmission of the virus.  Believe me, I know what your going through... I was with my partner for 3 years and I had a "breakout" and the doctor told me that it was "text book" and said that I didnt need a blood test because she knew it was herpes. And I had to tell my partner, we never had sex since that day because I was in shock and told him to move on without me... And it turns out that, 7 months later when I get a blood test it turned out it wasnt even herpes.  Hes moved out of state and developed this hate towards me, because he thought that I had cheated on him. :(  He has a new girlfriend now, and he seems happy... so im at loss about what I should do.. and still in disbelief and want another blood test to make sure there werent any flaws in the test.  But there are a lot of support sites out there, and it helps to make sure you know... "the virus did not choose you, and you didnt deserve it"  I had to tell myself that over and over and over, that diagnosis really takes a toll on your life, but dont let it control you.. you just have to take a little more percaussions.

[gracefromHHP]

At this point I recommend that you and your partner both pursue type specific herpes igg blood tests this week to see who has what. You only want the igg testing done.

Also check out the free herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com for more info on herpes and how to test for it. Once you and your partner both know who has what, we can better help you with precautions.

Hang in there - it's not near as bad as it seems right now I promise you!

grace

[anon86]

Thank you for your comments I am waiting on the results to come back but my doctor who checked me out swears it is herpes going on what he can see! My results come back in about a week and a half they didn't take blood he took swabs instead. My partner and I had a fight about it last night more me I am just so angry with myself for getting this and I really had ago at him about it and blamed his ex partners! He isn't talking to me now and even slept in the other room so I am not feeling fantastic plus I have our little boy to look after who is only 10 months so I trying to keep strong but it's hard!

[gracefromHHP]

This could've come from either of you. Also he even could've transmitted a hsv1 oral infection to your genitals too. This is why both of you going to get tested is important to help you figure out who has what. It' s not about blaming anyone by no means - 90% of folks who have hsv2 have no idea they have it. Assume nothing and both of you go and get tested with the blood tests this week. It's a small window of opportunity if this is a newly acquired infection for you which is why it needs to be done sooner rather than later.

grace

[anon86]

I have just had a call from the clinic the results are in it's HSV1 so thats a good thing right?!!! My partner does suffer from cold sores too

[kmhtx22]

before jumping to conclusions you need to distinguish Hsv one from Hsv two. their two different strands of the disease. If its Hsv one . you got it from him giving you oral sex.

[gracefromHHP]

If the lesion culture was hsv1 then yes indeed it came from oral sex with your hsv1+ partner.

For the most part, this isn't going to be an issue for the two of you. The handbook goes into it in more details but as long as you avoid sex anytime you have genital symptoms, your bf has significant protection from contracting hsv1 genitally from you. Your recurrences should also be few and far between too.

keep asking questions as you have them :)

grace