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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding herpes issues such as: Herpes symptoms and treatments, causes, diagnosis, and herpes in men, tests, telling your spouse or partner.

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help

i found out in summer that i have genital herpes, since then ive slept with people and guess i haven't passed it on.  however its literally getting me down so much as every time i have slept with someone since, the day after i flare up again and having been in a relationship before which was very much about sex and that's how i enjoy a relationship, i don't understand how im meant to ever have a good sexual relationship again if it flares up every time after sex. Ive been crying so much as it gets me so down, i know im not but i feel so alone and I don't think i could tell someone in the future without crying or feeling ridiculously bad. im going to the doctors on Friday for suppressive medication hopefully.
12 Comments Post a Comment
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101028_tn?1348750963
let's start at the very beginning  - how were you diagnosed? do you have hsv1 or hsv2?

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
I understand how you feel. My doctor just told me I had genital herpes a couple of days ago. This guy slipped the condom off while we were having sex. When the Dr told me I started to cry and ever since then I haven't been myself. I don't know how to tell a future boyfriend that I have it either. I don't even feel like having sex anymore. I guess we're In the same boat
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Avatar_f_tn
i have hsv2, i was diagnosed while travelling so i am yet to go and see a uk doctor but it keeps coming back, I know its hsv2 it couldnt be anything else as at the start it was very clear to be herpes, very very painful outbreak. I contracted it in june and since then ive probably had 4/5/6 outbreaks, which is alot and it's getting me down so much, thankyou for you quick responses, yes i dont feel like having sex any more either, I dont understand how im ever going to receive oral sex again and how any one is going to even want to after i tell them, i used to be the one to say eurghh and now i understand how it feels to be on this side of the problem and i am more understanding about it now. but i think i might have to see a counsellor and it really really getting me down as i have had so many outbreaks since the first one.
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Avatar_f_tn
i'm female by the way, 21, and this is why it upsets me so much, i have my life ahead of me at this has messed everything up just because of a selfish guy, ive never regretted anything more in my life and wish i could turn back time
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101028_tn?1348750963
what testing did they do to diagnose you?

have you been back yet to be retested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally ?
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Avatar_f_tn
no not yet, its really akward as im travelling quite alot and i want to be treated in the uk beacuse its free there so I dont want to do it abroad. He just looked at it and showed me the blisters and gave me zovirax cream and virucid tablets. They make the outbreaks go away so i'm sure it is herpes? Do you think i should get retests? I'm only in the uk for one day and ive booked an appointment to be looked at.
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Avatar_f_tn
im pretty sure it is herpes though because i had blisters
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Avatar_f_tn
I can relate a lot b/c I'm a 22 yr old female and I never thought this could happen to me. I always use condoms and I don't have multiple partners. All it takes is that 1 f#@%Ed up person who doesn't care or consider other people. I see a counselor but I haven't told her yet I'm too ashamed right now. I'll have a even harder time telling a guy I care about.
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Avatar_f_tn
exactly how are you actually goign to tell them, and i know how i was before i got it, surely theyre going to not want to sleep with you once youve told them, i just actually cant believe ive got it! gets me down very much!
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101028_tn?1348750963
definitely get seen again to see what all is going on.

did you have a lesion culture done of your active symptoms?
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Avatar_f_tn
no i did not, as this was not available with my insurance, how likely is it though that it isnt herpes, especially when ive had outbreaks since, and all the signs and syptoms (symptoms) have been herpes related.
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101028_tn?1348750963
oh indeed it is important to confirm that indeed you have genital herpes and if so, what type. Having symptoms every time you have sex means you have to start finding out what is herpes related and what isn't. it's not typical to have symptoms from sex every time at all. Visual diagnosis of herpes is wrong 30% of the time so it's recommended that you confirm your diagnosis.

also you can change your gender to female so it's less confusing when replying to your posts to suggest advice - thanks!
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