herpes or something else?

[tom52]

Hello,

Over two years ago my wife had a reaction a few days after we had intercourse.
Her vagina became red, swollen and it burned her so bad when her pee touched her outer lip area of the vagina. So bad that she slammed her hand down on the counter while peeing and yelled - (I was in the bathroom showering) she was able to finish but could only dab the toilet paper as she wipped.  The next day, she was still sore so we both took a look.  
Her outer entrance to her vagina was still red and swollen.  We didnt notice any bumps or blisters or anything other then her being very red and swollen. The next day she was pretty much back to normal, so those symptoms lasted about 3 days.
Nothing ever again and we thought it was just a reaction to my seman or the amount of sex we had.
Well...two years later, I have been diagnosed with HSV2.  I had no symptoms. The blood test was suggested by my doctor at  an annual check up.  I was in shock.  I do not know when I contracted the virus - it could have been before my wife, during our relationship as I was sleeping with another woman and still am.
So far none of these woman have had an outbreak or symptoms.  They have all been notified and tested via a blood test.  My wife is still waiting for her results to come back.  She is very angry at me as you can imagine.  

My question is, do you think her occurance with the red, swollen, sting when pee hit her opening was an outbreak of HSV2?
Thank you for your time.  Anything that could possibly help while we are waiting for the test results to come back may ease her mind.

[tom52]

can someone please comment...please?

[daisy315]

What your wife experienced doesn't sound typical of a Herpes outbreak but of course there is always the possibility that it was and there is no way of knowing for sure until the tests come back,not everyone presents with the same symptoms particularly primary outbreaks some people have pretty bad ones some have very mild ones and some people have no symptoms at all as HSV is a very variable condition.
There is little you can do for now intil her results come back,but to be honest if you have been diagnosed with HSV2 and been having unprotected sex then the possibilty of her contracting it is fairly high.

Daisy  

[tom52]

Daisy,

Thank you.

My wife is so upset that she cant sleep.

Waiting is the hardest part.

[daisy315]

Whilst I am not here to make moral judgements on people my sympathy goes to your wife in that she seems to be the innocent party in all of this,you were cheating on her before you married and by all accounts still are,unfortunately if this turns out to be Herpes she has in fact paid the price for your infidelity throughout the entire relationship,which I find extremely unfair and disrespectful to her since you obviously gave no thought to her well being or how your infidelity would impact on her,and I doubt you can argue with that.  

Daisy

[tom52]

Daisy,

You are absolutely right.  I was selfish and stupid. I tried having both woman, and it worked for awhile.  I am a bad man.

My wifes test came back this morning.  She is negative for HSV2.

She is very, very relieved.  She has a second chance and I am happy for her.

This will be the end of our marriage I am sure.  I dont know yet if the other woman has received her test results back...hopefully she will negative as well but the chances of that happening may slim as I probably contracted it from her.

Thank you for being there during this time...I dont blame your comments about my actions and putting my wifes health at risk.  That is what I did.

P.S., she had her doctor test for every std they could.  All test came back negative.

[daisy315]

I am very pleased to hear that your wife's results were negative,sadly many people contract HSV and other STD's innocently while in what they thought was a monogamous relationship or marriage,it is emotionally destructive enough to find a partner has cheated it is 100 times worse for the innocent party to be left with a constant reminder of it,it's pretty shameful actually,I hope you have learned something from this .....  

Daisy