Thanks so much for your help!
GregParis
Hi, if your partner is using antiviral medication and you are using condoms, there is no point in covering up whatever skin is exposed to help "protect" you further. It just won't work. The virus doesn't pass through clothing, but you are already doing the 2 most important things you can to provide protection - the medication and the condoms. Hell, even if you ditch the condoms, your risk only goes up to 2% a year with just the medication alone.
It sounds like your partner isn't comfortable with her herpes status. She needs to be comfortable with it herself, but it sounds like you have reassured her as much as you can. :)
Do you really want to have sex with your partner without skin to skin contact? Is it really worth it, given the other precautions you are using? I would find that psychologically disturbing to be with a partner who wanted to do that. There's something degrading and insulting about it.
Bottom line is that the medications and the condoms are the best protection - plus avoiding sex if she has overt symptoms. Nothing else you do will further enhance your protection.
If she isn't comfortable with this, maybe the 2 of you together, or she alone, can see a counselor? Has she ever had a negative partner before? Sometimes the first negative partner a person with herpes has can cause the anxiety of fear of transmission. Once you 2 start an active emotionally close sex life, though, and she realizes that the medication and the condoms really do work, she may calm down about it.
Until then, keep avenues of communication open with her, tell her she can ask questions here at this forum, or have her seek counseling. She might also find the doctor side of the STD forum reassuring, since they discuss the low risks of transmission all the time over there.
Good luck! Hope this was helpful!