herpes transmission

You were very helpful in the past and I have a further question now that I have more information.  My wife of many years developed acute genital herpes type 2 (swab test) after a one night extramarital affair.  We have reconciled but she is torn between her desire to resume our normal sex life (using condom/ no sex oral now) and her fear of giving me the infection (a fear I don't share).  I am negative to the both HSV 1 and 2 (blood test).  She is on suppressive dose Valtrex.

1)  I wish to perform unprotected oral sex on her.  How risky is this and how severe is HSV 2 orally on average?

2)  I see one option as just forgoing any protection altogether and if I remain negative, fine, and if I get it I'll deal with it and the worry is over as we are now both positive.  Is this a reasonable course if we are likely to remain together for the rest of our lives?  I understand many HSV 2 infections in men are inapparent.

3)  Would my being on prophylactic suppressive dose Valtrex help prevent infection.

Thanks so much for your expert advice.

[petal130]

1) HSV2 is uncommon, and doesn't "like" the oral area. In most instances, a person who has HSV2 orally has an initial outbreak, and none afterwards.

2) Truly a personal choice. Can't say I've ever heard that HSV2 infections in men are "inapparent".

3) Do you mean condom usage, and her taking suppressive therapy? You can't take Valtrex; it's indicated for someone who is positive for HSV, not for folks who aren't.

Here are odds based on female to male transmission of genital herpes.

FEMALE TO MALE RATE OF TRANSMISSION (HSV2 ONLY STATS IS NOT APPLICABLE FOR HSV1)

If you have 100 couples where the female has HSV2 but not the male (these figures are over a year) the odds of female to male transmission are, if you do nothing other than avoid sex during an outbreak, 4 men out of a 100 will get herpes in a year, or 4%. If you do go on a suppressive therapy then it drops to 2 men out of a 100 in a year, or 2%. And if you use suppressive and a condom the chances are 1 man out of a 100 will get herpes in one year or 1%.

The Valtrex and transmission study stats are based on having sex 2 times/week.

Become educated even further by reading the Herpes Handbook
http://www.westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html