hsv1 transmission

[london2010]

I have been newly diagnosed with genital hsv1. my partner of nearly a year says he has never had any genital hsv1 outbreaks so i reckon he must have passed it orally. My question is why did i never get infected with oral hsv1 first - we kissed a lot in the year before my genital hsv1 outbreak. we are no longer together - could it be that he had had genital hsv1 outbreak and did not tell me. Or can you carry genital hsv1 without experiencing an outbreak - like i've been reading you can do with genital hsv-2.

[gracefromHHP]

no way to know if you also contracted it orally unless you get an obvious cold sore. what few studies we have that looked at oral and genital transmission at the same time showed that anywhere from 1/4 - 2/3's of folks who contracted hsv1 genitally, also contracted it orally too around the same time.  A lack of obvious cold sores though doesn't mean you don't also have it orally now too.  make any sense?

[london2010]

Ok thanks. Does that mean i was somehow genetically protected from getting it orally and so was left susceptible to it genitally through the oral (him) to genital (me) sex. My doctor told me that if i had got it orally i could not get it genitally and vice versa. I am still confused why i did not get it orally first especially as you say he would have been shedding it orally for at least 50 days of the year before i got it genitally. Would i not have picked it up orally in that time or could i have been protected from this orally. Sorry, i just wanted to be clear about this. Thanks

[gracefromHHP]

you shed oral herpes periodically - both with obvious cold sores and in between.  it's not active in the saliva all the time - about 18% of days on average ( 18 out of every 100 days total ).  

the majority of us who contract hsv1 orally, don't get obvious cold sores to know it.  Seems to be as much about genetics as anything - some of us has a gene that makes us more likely to get obvious cold sores.  no way to know if you also contracted hsv1 orally or not when you contracted it genitally unless you get an obvious cold sore.  

[london2010]

Thanks for your answer Grace. I was a virgin before this encounter so it has to have come from my partner. we have broken up now but i keep wondering if he lied to me about his claims that he never had an outbreak genitally.
In your reply, did you mean that you dont shed hsv1 all of the time on your mouth - only when you have a cold sore. Am i mistaken in thinking that it is present in your saliva all of the time even if you dont have a cold sore. I think that is where my confusion is. Since the outbreak happened a year into our relationship after a lot of kissing, i was confused how i didnt get a cold sore on the mouth first. Is it that he has to have had hsv1 genitally only and that, unlike hsv2 which you can carry and pass on without knowing, he has to have had an outbreak to pass it on genitally, since i've read that hsv1 always causes an immediate outbreak when acquired genitally (it doesnt lie dormant like hsv2), but i dont know if this is true. Any help you can give to clear up my confusion would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[gracefromHHP]

odds are your partner has hsv1 orally and transmitted it to you through oral sex. Another option is you had this prior to meeting your partner and didn't realize it and this is just your first obvious recurrence of it.

has your partner been tested yet?

what testing did you have done?

so why now and not a year ago? it's as much about bad luck as anything to be honest. Your partner was actively shedding the virus and your body was vulnerable to infection when he performed oral on you.  

keep asking questions!

grace