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husband and wife BOTH with first outbreak
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husband and wife BOTH with first outbreak

Is it weird that BOTH my husband and I had a first outbreak of HSV2 at the same time?? Right after having sex last saturday, we both started showing symptoms. Now in fullblown outbreaks.   I have struggled with bv and itching/burning over the years, just thought I was more sensitive than others, could these have been signs of earlier outbreaks and I didn't know it?  I have not been with anyone else for 14 years.  He had an affair 6 years ago but swears that he has not been with anyone recently and says that if he had been and had given this to us, I would deserve to know the truth so he wouldn't withhold it. I actually believe him.  He is devastated as am I.   I'm struggling with thinking this "thing" could have been laying dormant in me for 14 or even 6 years, feels like it has to be a new infection.  Any intelligent thoughts?  
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22 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
We have 3 children, 6,5 and 18 mos.....if we are both positive for HSV2 do we need ot be concerned about passing it our kids?  I am scared to death about them getting it!!!
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101028_tn?1348750963
Odds are that neither of you have ever been tested for herpes before to know your status.  It's not a part of routine std testing nor is it a part of routine pregnancy testing.  

is it odd that you both showed signs at the same time? Actually no it's not. Odds are that one of you would've not given much thought to your symptoms if the other one hadn't also had something going on.  

what testing have you both had so far?

We do not have the sort of contact it takes to transmit herpes to our children - absolutely no worries there at all!!

grace
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Avatar_f_tn
The doctor took cultures of the sores on my husband on thursday, test results early this week.  I am waiting for his test results, I have all the telltale signs and my sores have multiplied since thursday.   I have NEVER had sores or swollen lymph nodes in my groin however, I have over the years had bouts with intense ithcing and pain with sex(just thought drier after 3 kids) so maybe I have been dealing with this for longer.....He has also had bouts with redness after sex and irritation.....any ideas?

The worst part of this is knowing whether my husband is telling me the truth and that is something that I can not control.  He says that although we have had our struggles with infidelity and flirting he swears that he has done NOTHING in the past 30 days that would have brought this on.  He told me I would deserve to know the truth even if he had cheated recently.  Any suggestions on emotional healing from this?  Will I always feel this disgusting and ugly now?  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thinking about medications....any thoughts on Valtrex or Famvir??
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101028_tn?1348750963
you both should get type specific herpes igg blood tests done today or tomorrow to see who has what. don't wait for lesion culture results, get the blood tests done on you both.

also you should be seen yourself for testing.

herpes symptoms won't occur just after sex either. odds are you have multiple issues going on from the sounds of things.
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Avatar_f_tn
what could the "multiple issues" be....
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1174003_tn?1308164419
BV, yeast, contact dermiatits, and anything else.  The forum is limited to Herpes and we aren't a sub for a doctor.  You need to follow up with your doctor.  
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Avatar_f_tn
Thank you.  I am not using this as a substitute for a doc, just trying to ease my mind while I wait to get in for an appointment.   Fingers crossed.
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101028_tn?1348750963
by multiple issues I was referring to pain with sex, vaginal dryness, bv etc.  even though you are still young, might be some hormonal imbalances going on contributing to some of your symptoms too.
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Avatar_f_tn
any ways to relieve blister pain?  I am in agony, sitting on hard chairs hurts!!!  Anything I can do to ease some pain.  I have been taking ibuprophen every 4 hours which seems to help a little and ice down there.....when will these blisters start healing, at this point they are just multiplying and my husbands are all scabbed over and he is now feeling fine, why is mine so much worse??
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101028_tn?1348750963
alternate tylenol with your advil - tylenol 1000mg 6 am, advil 600mg at 9 am, tylenol at noon, advil at 3pm etc. Gives you pain relief comparable to some narcotics.

soaking in the bathtub or soaking your bum in a sitz bath with epsom salts thrown in is helpful. Helps with pain relief as well as decreases swelling.  

I'm a fan of dermoplast spray myself ( the blue can for the genital area, not the red can ). it's a topical anesthetic that is under $10 in most drug stores and you can spray it on several times a day for pain relief.

the blisters will get better but it is miserable while you are waiting :(    if you didn't start valtrex/famvir or acyclovir within a few days of symptoms, it can take 2-3 weeks to totally run their course if we assume this is a newly acquired infection.
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Avatar_f_tn
Got results today and I also went in for testing.  My husband has HSV1 on his genitals, doctor says more than likely that is also what I have but doing a culture just to make sure.  Can HSV1 lay dormant like HSV2?  Neither of us have EVER had a cold sore.  How did we get this in our genitals, if we both have not been with anyone else?  My husband works in a close office with 2 women who get cold sores every other month and my best friend also gets them frequently.  Could we have gotten them from contact with them?  No, we have not been kissing them.  I thought we would feel some relief but now we are just more confused as to how we ended up with HSV1 down there..........will we forever carry this now?
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101028_tn?1348750963
did his doctor do a lesion culture that came back as hsv1+ or did he do blood testing on him?

have you  been seen yet?



yes, once you have herpes in a location, you have it forever.
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Avatar_f_tn
he did a culture that came back positive for HSV1 on my husband.  The doctor also said that he assumes mine is also HSV1 but he did a culture on me also, another week till results.  prescribed Valtrex for us.

I am confused.  if there is NO risk of giving it to our 3 kids, then how did we get this if we have had NO cold sores or been with someone else?  if it was that easy for us to transmit to each other, wouldn't it be easy to give to the kids?  
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101028_tn?1348750963
we don't have the sort of contact it takes to transmit genital herpes to children.  we call it sexually transmitted for good reason - it takes THAT sort of contact.
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Avatar_f_tn
My doctor said that since it is HSV1 and not 2, it could have been transmitted other ways such as touching our mouths and then touching ourselves by accident, that it doesn't mean that it was brought on ONLY thru sexual contact.

What about the people my husband works in close quarters with?  There are 4 women that he is in constant contact with that have recurrent, visible cold sores every month.  Could he have picked up the bacteria on his hands and then transmitted it to himself if he went to the bathroom or scratched himself?  I know the bacteria doesnt live long outside the body but is this possible?
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Avatar_f_tn
Also, I don't understand the difference between HSV1 and 2......Type 2 is ONLY in the genitals and ONLY transmitted sexually?  Type 1 can live in either place and can be transmitted in various ways???  Can BOTH live dormant for a long time?
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Avatar_n_tn
Your doctor is wrong. Genital HSV1 is only acquired through sex - oral or vaginal/anal. Your husband touching objected that were touched by his collegues will not cause him to have genital HSV1; your husband receiving oral sex from someone infected with oral HSV1 will.

As for the difference between type I and type II - both types can theorically infect the oral mucosa and the genitals. However, it is proven that type II is better suited with the genital mucosa, while type I is better suited with the oral mucosa. However, you might get genital HSV1 if you have sex with someone who has oral HSV1 or even genital HSV1 (the chances here are lower); and you might get oral HSV2 if you have oral sex with someone who has genital HSV2. Makes sense?

Right now, you don't know if what you and your husband experienced was an initial infection (first episode). But if it is, someone contracted it recently. If possible, you should both get type specific blood tests for herpes - this way you might learn what's really going on.
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Avatar_n_tn
Just to complement: if you have a positive test for HSV1, it means it's an older infection. If you test negative, it's supposed to be a new infection - but the blood test for HSV1 lacks sensitivity, so it still might be tough to find out where this infection came from.

Anyway, if you and your husband get the blood test, post the results here and we'll help you interpret them.
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Avatar_f_tn
so are you saying that we picked this up recently?  the doctor has never asked us to get blood tests, not even mentioned it.........my husband is swearing that he has had no sexual contact with anyone in the last 6 years...wtf am I suppose to think now with what you are telling me.  he cheated on me RECENTLY!!!!!! is that what you are trying to tell me?

his test for HSV1 was positive, meaning it is an OLD infection?  if mine also comes back postive, then it is also an old infection?
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Avatar_n_tn
Hmm, no. Please read my previous posts carefully - I said that it's hard to know if this is an initial infection for both of you - therefore, it this was acquired recently by any of you. Herpes certinaly does not come out of the blue, so one of you had it first and transmitted to the other. I didn't say that any of you have acquired it recently; maybe it's an older infection and only now you have passed to one another.

Right now, it seems like you can't know for sure if you passed it to your husband or the other way around. For instance, if you have HSV1 orally, you might have passed it to your husband even if you don't suffer from active cold sores. People might transmit herpes even when symptoms are absent. The same hypothesis applies to your husband.

Initial infection usually (but not always) consists of multiple sores, bilateral (in both sides of the genitalia) and flu symptoms. It also does not show positive antibodies right away, because it takes time for the body to build them. That's why a type specific blood test is a good idea. Still, as I said above, there are some problems associated with the ELISA IgG test for HSV1 - it misses about 10% of the infections. If you and your husband decide to get tested, post the results here and I'm sure someone will help you understand them better.
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Avatar_n_tn
BTW, culture results and blood tests results are different things. You said above your husband had a positive culture - cultures will always be positive from start. Blood test, on the other hand, might take 3-4 months to become positive. Did you husband have a blood test as well?
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