incubation time

Grace, i'm sorry, i think i posted to the wrong place a little while ago.  First, thanks for this site. Now my question. I have reciently reunited with my long lost first love. My wiarevseperate seperated for the past 7 months pending a divorce. Neither my new partner nor i has ever exibited any symptoms or had an outbrefrom HSV-2 in the past, nor has my wife. My old girlfriend and i have been intermittently active for the past 7 months and earlier tonight she was confirmed by her doctor as having an HSV-2 outbreak. I have still not exhibited any symptoms. At first she thought she was experiencing a yeast infection, however she was wrong. My real question is how long can this virus be in your system before it shows itself. My new partner hasn't been with another man for 14 years and i have been only with my wife for over 25 years. None of the three of us has ever had an outbreak before. I am amazed that this has happened, and afraid that as a result, there may now be three people with HSV-2. Also, is it possable not to have contracted it if the partner with the virus was not experiencing an outbreak at the time of sexual contact. I look forward to your response.  Thank you

[gracefromHHP]

sure, blame the nyquil....lol

[Mistakeguy789]

A study conducted showed that 80% of people in the study that were postive for HSV stated they didn't have herpes.  Once they were told the symptoms they had agreed they had those symptoms in the past.

Someone saying "I have never had symptoms" is not perfect.  Herpes will show itself on an initial infection no sooner than 2 days and no later typically than 20 days (most cases in 14 days).  How was your partner diagnoised with HSV-2?  Visual diagnosis is wron 1/3 of the time.  The best way to get answers for her would have been via lesion culture and a blood test at the same time as the lesion culture.  

The best thing right now is for you to get a type specific igg hsv blood test.  This will tell you your status.  Though it will not tell you if the infection is new or not.  Your (soon) to be ex-wife should get tested just to know her own status as well.  Do not get the IGM testing which is flawed and not useful for checking HSV.  HSV igg type specific results should be trusted for any encounter's up to 3 months in the past.  

[gracefromHHP]

you are mixing up your study info mistakeguy.


Anyways what he was trying to say was - in a study on folks who swore that they had never had hsv2 symptoms but had tested + for it on blood tests, after proper education on what to look for, 80% of them were able to recognize symptoms of herpes recurrences from that point forward. Bottom line being - odds are that none of you have ever been tested for herpes before to know your status. At this point the other 2 of you need to seek out type specific herpes igg blood tests to see who has what and go from there. Just because this is the first time your one partner has gotten properly diagnosed as having genital herpes, doesn't mean it's a newly acquired infection for her. All of you need to be sexually responsible and follow up on your own statuses to see who has what so that you can take proper precautions together and with future partners.   If you need help with your igg test results, just post them here and I can help you - e.g. hsv1 igg 7.9 and hsv2 igg .45 or whatever they are is all I need to see.

grace

[Mistakeguy789]

One should not post when he has taken Nyquil.  The effects of Nyquil make you sleepy and confusing.  Thanks grace for correcting me.  :(

[gracefromHHP]

sure, blame the nyquil....lol

[amazingithappened]

Thanks Grace, i am scheduled to have the IgG test some time tomorrow and i guess the results will come in a few days. And you are right, none of us involved have ever been tested before, and were unfamiliar with the things to look for. I am now beginning to look for the signs.

[amazingithappened]

Grace, i have another question. I'm still trying to understand my situation and i'm passing around several senareos in my head. #1, if i have the HSV,  and was having an asystematic shedding situation, how long do they typically last. #2, if she had it, how long before an outbreak is it contagious? #3, is it possable to have been infected and not have an outbreak that you can see. I guess that would also be an asystematic shedding.  Thanks for your thoughts

[amazingithappened]

Grace, i have another question. I'm still trying to understand my situation and i'm passing around several senareos in my head. #1, if i have the HSV,  and was having an asystematic shedding situation, how long do they typically last. #2, if she had it, how long before an outbreak is it contagious? #3, is it possable to have been infected and not have an outbreak that you can see. I guess that would also be an asystematic shedding.  Thanks for your thoughts

[gracefromHHP]

asymptomatic shedding can last anywhere from hours to days.

You can be infectious to others as soon as a few days after being infected yourself.

about 20% of folks who have hsv2, are truly asymptomatic.

grace

[amazingithappened]

Thanks again Grace, i guess that answers my questions.

[amazingithappened]

Grace, i think i'm beginning to understand what has happened a little better. If my test come back positive, and i think there is a very good chance that it will, i have a feeling that i was the party at fault. I base this conclusion on the fact that my partner had her outbreak approximately 4 days after our last sexual contact. That contact was 15 days ago. If i was experiencing an asystematic shedding at the time i wouldn't have had any visible signs and therefore was in the dark about my infection. Otherwise,  if i had contracted it from her, i should have noticed something by now. I wont get the results for several days, so i'm just trying to figure this out. I don't think i mentioned how understand she has been about this situation, she hasn't freeked out at all, she still tells me that she loves me, and we still plan to marry when my divorce become final. By the way, we were high school sweethearts, and more, over 45 years ago and have only reciently found each other again, it's now been a year since our first e-mail exchange. I must say that she is a truly amazing woman and i consider myself very lucky, she just tells me that it isn't the end of the world and that we will learn to live with our situation. Do you think i may be right in my assumptions.

[gracefromHHP]

assume nothing when it comes to herpes. both of you get type specific herpes igg blood tests and go from there. also cover all the rest of the std bases while you are at it so you don't have to worry more in the future.

[amazingithappened]

Well Grace, i just got a call from my Doctor, and the results of my IgG test were negative.  I guess i have to learn to live with this situation. But at least now we have an answer we can live with. I do feel bad for my girl because she had no idea she was infected until she had her outbreak which prompts me to be tested. Again, thanks for all your help, i'm sure i will have plenty of questions as i move forward.

[gracefromHHP]

have you two discussed her going on daily suppressive therapy?

[amazingithappened]

Yes Grace, her Doctor put her on,  i think it is Valtrex, immediately,  and she cleared up within about a week or so. We are still avoiding contact just to be sure, she wants to protect me until we learn more about what to do to prevent the speed, if we can, she is very protective,  as i said, i'm very lucky. She is still shocked that she had it and has no idea who gave it to her, but it would have been one of three men between 14 and 25 years ago. This was her first recognizable outbreak. As i said before, she hasn't been with a man for the past 14 years, so when i tested negative it really came as a shock to both of us. We will learn the ins and outs, no pun intentended.

[Mistakeguy789]

If she is on daily supressive therapy and you avoid sex during anything going on genital you have a 98% chance per year of NOT getting herpes.  Add a condom into the mix and it is a 99% chance you won't get it.  

Once the skin fully heals no need to continue avoiding touching.  

[amazingithappened]

Thanks, that's good to know. We appreciate the input.

[amazingithappened]

Hi Grace, well, today i saw my Doctor about a number of things including my recient blood work which also had the IgG test that she told me was negative, so i asked her what the value was and she told me it was .3, and that it didn't even register, is that right? I guess i should believe her. Then she told me i had been exposed to HSV-1, so i asked her what the result was and she said the number was i think 3.9. She then told me that i probably got it as a kid, and that over half of the population has it, that it is called the kissing disease.  I told her that i haven't ever had a cold sore and she said that was very common.  My question, Grace, is now that i know that i have HSV-1, can I cause any problems for my girl who has the HSV-2 and is now on Valtrex?  Also what are our options concerning oral sex, if any, going forward, either her to me or me to her, or both, thanks for your thoughts.

[Mistakeguy789]

No one will score 0.0 on the lab work.  If your test is a negative (which grace can confirm for you) then you know its negative.  The number isn't important when dealing with negatives.  

HSV is not an "exposed" virus.  You either have it or you don't.  So you have HSV-1 according to your doctor.  Which it isn't uncommon that someone doesn't remember having cold sores.  Mostly this is the case with HSV-1 is its oral.  It's not the kissing disease just spreads that way.  

If your girl doesn't have HSV-1 you can still transmit the virus to her.  You being negative for HSV-2 means she can transmit it to you.  Avoid sexual encounters and kissing when you have a cold sore present.  If you aren't sure of a sore or something on your facial area be seen and have it looked at.  

Oral sex is low risk for HSV.  You can take precautions as far as using things like dental dam and so forth but its really not worth it given that it is a low risk.  For her oral sex on you there is no concern she doesn't have oral herpes.  You just avoid performing on her when you have a cold sore present.  

Keep asking us questions.

[gracefromHHP]

it's very low risk that you'll transmit hsv1 to your partner. hsv2 seems to protect against hsv1 but not vice versa.  

do you know if your partner was blood tested to know if she has hsv1 or not?

[amazingithappened]

No Grace, she was cultured at the time of her outbreak,  but i will ask her if her doc also blood tested her, thanks.

[amazingithappened]

Grace, she told me that she wasn't,  only cultured because she was in the middle of an outbreak. She is now going through a very tough time, she is very angry that someone infected her and didn't have the decency to inform her of his condition at the time. She is now afraid to make love with me for fear of passing it on to me. I feel very bad for her and am trying to be as supportive as i can. I have told her that from what i have learned we can have a very normal love life, but i guess it is just too new at this time, I will continue to stand by her and support her through her emotional struggle, i love her very much, I know we will learn to get through this. Ihave come to learn that this isn't the end of the world, only a minor speed bump to be felt with accordingly. Again, thank you for all you wise help and council.

[Mistakeguy789]

I would sit down with your girl and go over the free herpes handbook.  Let her read it (or read it to her) and tell her what she needs to know.  This was written by Terri Warren who is a NP.  She has her own clinic (Westover Heights) which handles a LOT of herpes stuff.  From research to handling of patients.  Terri also is the MedHelp Herpes Expert here.  She knows her stuff about herpes.  Her site has a lot of good things as does her book "The Good News About The Bad News".  Let's get her educated about whats going on.  That will help her and you out.  As a team you both can overcome any challenges you take on with love.  This one is a challenge to show her and teach her.  Let her ask questions here with you.  The site also has some counseling videos.

http://westoverheights.com/genital_herpes/handbook/view_the_chapters.html

[amazingithappened]

Mistakeguy 789, both you and Grace have been great friends through this ordeal, i don't know how i couldx have gotten through this experience so far without you both, thank you so much for all your calm words of advice and encouragement.  I will ask for a copy of that booklet.

[Mistakeguy789]

That is what we are here for.  We want to help people learn that this isn't the worst thing in the world.  Its a skin condition nothing more.  It's not worth not having sex.  

[amazingithappened]

Hi there again ya'all, I have something else that has been on my mind that i would like to ask. I have now been tested and as i stated it came out negative, and since my girl is positive, that means that she was first infected at least 14 years ago, since she hasn't been active since then. Now since this was her first recognizable sign of an outbreak, my question is, could our recient sexual activity have been the trigger that activated what appeared to have been dormant all this time, and do you think that the individual who passed it on to her could possably not know that he has HSV-2 by now himself, and if so, would it be proper for him to have contacted her to alert her of the possibility that she may have been infected by him. I'm not sure if i should bring this subject up with her or not, i guess i asking if i should just let sleeping dogs lye.

[gracefromHHP]

I don't recommend contacting past partners unless she has a really good relationship with them and knows that there's more good to be had than bad. Depending on the reason that the relationship ended, sometimes it's just not worth it for the infected partner. All her partners are responsible adults who should be getting tested for std's regularly to know their own status. All that is important is knowing her status and your status so that you can make educated decisions together.  This isn't a partner she had a few months ago, it's been years and probably not worth it at this point. totally her choice though obviously.

[amazingithappened]

I know you are right Grace, I guess this was just my own selfish anger coming out. It really upset me that someone gave her this and didn't have the guts to warn her of his condition when he discovered it for himself, as you know this is the gift that just keeps on giving. And from what she has told me,  the break up wasn't the best, she told me she ran into him in a restaurant one evening and he said, "oh, by the way, this is my new girl friend." They had been together the previous weekend, apparently he was,  how do i put this, burning the candle at both ends until he decided which one lit his fire. Oh well, again, thanks for your wise council Grace, I will drop the matter.

[amazingithappened]

Oh by the way Grace, I had also asked if you thought that our recient sexual activities might have triggered her outbreak after being dormant for so many years or at least having symptoms that were so mild that they were not recognized.  Any thoughts?

[gracefromHHP]

It's not a part of routine std testing and most folks never get tested for it to know that they are infected. In fact, symptoms typically are so mild ( or easily mistaken for something else ) that over 90% of those infected, have no idea until tested.  It's quite likely that whoever gave it to her had no idea they had it at the time and depending on how long after they broke up it took until they found out, they might've figured it to be too late to talk to her about it too, figuring she would've come to them had she had symptoms and found out that she had it.  really hard to tell the when and from whom part of it all.  

Most people have symptoms of herpes but just don't recognize them as such. Odds are she's had symptoms of ob's previously, just this one was in a location that was obvious and was severe enough to make her take notice and go to be seen to get diagnosed.  

[amazingithappened]

Oh yes Grace, it was obvious, my poor baby had,  i guess you would call them,  blisters, on the inside of the lips of her vigina (vagina), so it burned when she had to pee. I assume you know what she had to do to maintain a comfortable level during that procedure.  I was unaware the ob's could be anywhere else. Other than the severity of the ob's, what other locations could they occur? Perhaps as you have said, if they weren't where expected, ie the vagina, she may recall some sort of occurrence. If you could mention some other areas and what to look for, that would be helpful. I'm sorry to be such a pest Grace, but you have been just a wealth of reassuring information to me and us that i have to keep turning to you. Again I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there, you are an Angel.

[gracefromHHP]

even though you always read that the initial ob is the worst and recurrences are much milder, it doesn't always go that way. I know form my own situation, I never suspected what in hindsight were my first few herpes ob's as being herpes - I thought that they were pimples. I had what if I hadn't already known differently, I would've believed was a new infection for me a year or so into my infection with hsv2 - it was pretty severe and led me to be seen for treatment. flashforward 16 years later, even while on daily suppressive therapy, same thing happened - a humdinger of an ob that my gyn and I laughed that had we not known better, would've thought was a brand new herpes infection it was so severe. Weird things happen and typically with herpes, it's because something else is also going on.  Was your gf also tested for yeast and bacterial infections vaginally when she was seen with her symptoms?  

ob's can occur anywhere in the entire boxer short area and can be as simple as pimples, anal itching, genital itching , uti like symptoms and we gals can also have ob's on our cervix - an area we certainly can not see at home.  

[amazingithappened]

Thanks Grace, thanks for sharing your experience with me, it was very enlightening. I will be with her in Norfolk next week and now, with what you have told me and the book that i ordered from Westover Heights, we will certainly have a lot to go over, and now, armed with correct information, i think we will really be ready to move forward in an informed manor, I can't tell you how much the openness with which ya'all talk to me about this subject has helped me relax and become comfortable with our situation. Thanks again for being the angel that you are.

[amazingithappened]

Grace, i know it has been a while since i posted, i got the book, and we have gone through it, we found it very informative, however, we also found that it raised some additional questions, and some additional fears we hadn't anticipated. As i had stated previously, she is taking Valtrex  daily and since beginning hasn't had another noticable outbreak, so i assume it is doing what it is meant too. Our question has to do with sheading,  if we read correctly, this occures quite often even while taking Valtrex, and she is still infectious while this is happening, am i correct? I guess i'm asking if there is a way to know if she is sheading, or do I have to always protect myself. Also, what about me performing oral sex on her, am I at risk, as I have said, I have HSV-1 and she has HSV-2. Looking forward to your response, thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

daily suppressive therapy reduces shedding by 80-90% dear - less than 2 weeks total out of the year.  just her taking daily suppressive therapy and not even using condoms is a risk of about 2% each year for you.  

oral sex is low risk in general and her taking daily suppressive therapy lowers your risk even more.