odds of herpes transmission

[35wondering]

I had a relationship with a man that turned sexual on the course of a 4 day trip and no protection was used except the draw out method.  Once home I found out he had been with other woman. My question is....although he "states" he was clean and has been tested and while engaging in sex with him there absolutly where no sores, rashes, discharge ect....... if he did happen to have herpes what are my odds of getting it?  This has caused some sleepless nights because I guess I was naive.  I always thought that if someone had herpes you would see it.  My friend has now informed me differently which has me in a panic.  

[gracefromHHP]

No you can't tell just by looking at someone if they have herpes or not.  www.ashastd.org has terrific info on all std's - kinda sounds like you could really use a refresher on them.

Chances are good that you've never been tested for herpes before. Do you know if you have been?  Your yearly pap test doesn't test for std's either - it takes additional testing.  Also it was unprotected sex so if you aren't on the pill - you should be covering your pregnancy bases too.  At this point I recommend going to your provider this week and getting tested for all the bacterial std's. You can also get a baseline herpes igg blood test to see what your status is now and then if need be repeat it in the future.  

grace

[35wondering]

I was tested last Oct for all and everything including herpes and everything came back negative.  He was the first person I have been with since.  I have had no symptoms what so ever...not so much as a itch and he swears he hasnt a thing but since I so misjudged him to begin with I dont know how much I can trust his answer.  Thats why I was wondering what the odds are of transmitting the virus minus symtoms?
Thanks.

[gracefromHHP]

It's a 8-10% risk over the course of an entire year - if he's aware of symptoms and avoids sex during them.

Most folks aren't ever tested for herpes - it's not a part of routine std testing in most clinis. Usually when you ask for std testing you get tested for 2-3 std's only but I know we all assume it's for the whole shebang.  In a situation like this - you'd want to see proof of not only his own herpes testing ( as well as other std's  ) as well as that of his other partner which I don't think you are very likely to get.

At this point just protect yourself.  Cover the std bases from this encounter since it sounds like you have already moved on.  If you were completely herpes negative when you were last tested then if you did contract herpes it would most likely be a very obvious and "classic" presentation that you aren't going to miss. Should you get any symptoms within the next 2-3 weeks see your provider immediately for proper testing and treatment.  A one time encounter is pretty low risk though so be more surprised if you did contract herpes than if you didn't.  

Sucks when things like this happen - hang in there :)

grace

[35wondering]

Thanks....your information is very helpful.  Coming from being married since my late teens to being single again there is a lot out there that I have been completly naive about.  I was tested for herpes because of a bad yeast infection.  Both HSV Igg for 1 and 2 were negative which I didnt have a doubt would be since I've never so much as ever had a cold sore.  Its scary though.....and I have learned a very big lesson.  Just because someone treats you nice and says all the right things their word is only their word.  Next time....I am gonna have proof on paper .I was gonna go get a HSV IGM comination test done just to ease my mind but from what I read those are completly worthless?  Whats really scary is all the people out there who had that test and it was false/positive but are walking around still believing they have the virus when in fact they dont.  I wonder what that percentage is?  Frightening.
Again....thanks.