You should clear your mind now. Whitlow is very rare and you just didn't have an exposure that would lead to whitlow.
Even with all you describe the virus will not infect you through clothes. Even wet from sweat. Zero risk.
If what she had was anot hsv outbreak I highly doubt she would rub that on you as it would be painful.
Your odds of whitlow from what you discribe is not realistic at all.
I really wouldn't be concerned about hsv from this at all.
No std including hsv will be transmitted through clothing. You had zero risk of hsv. Feel free to visit your physician as you are concerned. Also please seek help if you are suicidal. Again no risk here!!!
First off keep your questions to one post.
Were you clothed or was this skin to skin contact?