who had it first

I have been in a relationship with the same man for a year now. Before him I was in three other long relationships so including my new boyfriend I have slept with 4 men. I did not have one night stands and stayed with all the men I had sex with for several years. I have had no signs or symptoms of herpes, I have never even had a cold sore in my life. Last weekend I got very sick, high fever, chills, and very tired the next day I broke out in the blisters on my vagina, I went to the dr right away and he has tested me for herpes, I have not heard back about the results but he was pretty sure that is what I had and started me on valtrex right away. I am devastated. I dont know if he gave it to me or if  have now given it to him. He swears he as been with no one else since me and before that he was married for 20 years, however he did sleep with alot of women before he was married. I can i know who gave this to who ? The shame and guilt is killing me and I feel like my soul has been run over by a paving machine. I saw add for quick clear, does that product have the ability to elimintate herpes like they say it does ? has anyone tried it and had good success? I pray on bended knees it does.

[waringblender]

How were you tested? Did they culture the sores? Or was it a blood test?

It doesn't matter who gave what to whom. Have your partner get tested for herpes. Then the 2 of you can figure out what to do after that. You're just spinning your wheels wasting emotional and psychic energy if you are trying to "figure out" where it came from. If you end up testing positive, just deal with having it and go forward.

I've never heard anybody say they felt like they had been run over with a "paving machine." That's a new one. The bended-knee thing is pretty hilarious, too.

[daisy315]

I agree with Waring it doesn't matter who gave it to who because it is possible that either of you could have had it for a long time before it presenting itself some people have it for years and don't even know,so there is no point really to trying to work that out,I do agree with how you feel at the moment though I felt devastated too when I got my diagnosis,but as you learn more and more about it you will find it's not as big a deal as you thought initially, it will make minor changes to your life but nothing that isn't manageable if you work together with it.
For now there is no miracle cure,looking after your general health and staying as stress free as possible is a good start,as Waring says don't waste emotional energy trying to work out where it came from,that will achieve nothing other than to make you emotionally unwell and it's not worth that,if you test positive your next step is to accept it as being part of your life now but definately not the end of your world by any means ....    

Daisy

[auntiejessi]

The only time it matters who had it first is if a partner had it, knew about it, and didn't share that info with a partner.

You'll know more when you get your results back.

Aj

[waringblender]

I'm not sure if a jerky partner who doesn't inform you changes anything if you end up positive. You're still positive. There's not much you can do about people being inconsiderate jerks. Unless you're talking about the lawsuit route, which is probably ill-advised in most cases. I assume you're not talking about kneecapping anybody? :o) In which case, Tonya Harding wants her lead pipe back. :)