Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
Coping..?
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding HPV issues such as: genital warts, causes, diagnosis, cervical cancer, HPV in men, PAP tests, treatment, telling your spouse or partner

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Coping..?

I've been reading down through this site, along with many others, and I've wondered whether or not that do condoms actually work?  I'm 23 years old and love sex.. well.. loved it, but that all feels like its gone down the drain now.  My friends and brother figure I'm about the most unluckiest person they know when it comes to sexual partners/ condoms breaking, so the idea of when I had gotten this I'm unsure as to when or who.  Don't really feel like trying to locate people over the past 5 years that I had had sexual relations with to let them know I have HPV.  I let girls know within the last year know that they should get checked if they hadn't done so already.  I don't really know where I'm going with this to be honest.  Recently I would talk to random people I know, telling them I have HPV to test if their reaction.  It sort of made me feel more at ease I guess.  Kind of disappointed that I was feeling a false sense of security by getting checked up at the clinic every so often for what I thought was a STI test where they would cover HIV, Aids, etc,, but didn't realize some such as herpes and HPV were excluded.  Anyways, since high school usually avoided the relationship scene as I didn't know where I'd be in a couple of years with college and university, and now that I'm done, find it hard to look at a girl, all I see is the look of rejection haha... last couple of girls I was seeing, friends of mine, said I'd have nothing to worry about the whole sex scene.  However, being a closet nympho, I'm finding it really hard to take in that sex will be restricted in the oral department.  No indication I have it in that area, but some of the comments have caught my eye about spreading it.  I'm fairly metro-sexual (a very clean way about myself)... well not so much as of late...  and the fact that alcohol increases the chances of carcinogenic forming... wished I'd known that before I went out and drank the 7/8ths a 60oz of Gin at the cabin... started throwing up blood due to an old ulcer being agitated by the amount of alcohol... not a smart choice on my part...  I figured after I was done school, had a good job.. maybe I could think about a relationship.. everything out of the way ... not as much uncertainty about moving and what not... so now.. Engineering degree... and the chances of this HPV thing allowing me to think about trying to have a sensible relationship... well... lets just say I feel like I'm at the bottom of that 60oz of Gin... not even really afraid of the cancer...  already a statistic .. one more wouldn't hurt...  ahh yes... question about penile cancer, recently noticed a lump about the size of a small bean under my skin... thought it might have been an ingrown hair due to shaving, but no.. and should I think about getting Gardsil and the other vaccination to possibly trigger my body to recognize the virus so that it can fight it?...  not trying to sound emo on this.. I know most people have gone through this phase.. I usually handle my anxiety pretty well (no liquor required)haha....  and I'm not on any meds for it thought I probably should be... just felt like I needed to write this down as if I was saying it... anyways... who ever responds.. don't care if its positive or negative...  at rock bottom so accepting all comments if anyone should have any...
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Avatar_m_tn
I know how you feel. Like you, I got tested for everything on a yearly basis, always had a clean pap, and even got the Gardisil vaccine 4 years ago (which I thought would protect me from this.).

I have been in a relationship for 5 months, and I am a very sexual person... it's definitely difficult to restrict the sex. We did have sex before I knew I had HPV... and now it sucks because it's like a waiting game to see if he he gets any symptoms (he hasn't so far... fingers crossed he's one of the lucky ones who never get symptoms).

The good news is, he is a very positive person and says he loves me - no matter what, he will stick by me. I feel like the luckiest girl in the world that I have a boyfriend like that.

You will meet the right person. I'm not saying it will be easy, because love isn't easy even without HPV (or any other disease for that matter). I know a woman who had a brain tumor, her boyfriend at the time left her because he "couldn't handle it". One of my friends is dating a guy who is a survivor of testicular cancer, his gf at the time left him for the same reason. That sounds like sort of a downer, but just be glad you're not dealing with a life-threatening illness alone.

As my boyfriend says "everyone has something about them that isn't perfect, that they have to deal with on a daily basis, and they wish they didn't have to". The trick is finding someone who will love you despite your flaws, and you being open enough to love them despite theirs.
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Avatar_f_tn
Awe, dizzy...I feel the same way about my hubby...how lucky we are ;)
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Avatar_m_tn
Here's hoping that I land an opposite gender with the same outlook on life as you/your bf..  In better mood tonight, thanks for the reply though.. made me feel better as well. :)    Also, main questions I was trying to determine:

1.) How do I determine if I have a high or low risk strain? or is it not possible for a guy?
2.) Should I take medication/ gardsil to try to remove/ attempt at initiating some form of anti-bioitic attack on the virus?
3.) For oral sex - strictly from a woman's response - do I need to live knowing my tongue exercising has all gone to waste.. I mean..  not bragging.. but my tongue is hugh... and I aimed to please..  .. bascially if a girl I'm seeing does not have HPV and no other STI's .. and we have protected sex.. should I still refrain from oral...?..  
4.) I'm ok with cutting back on alcohol consumption... but just wondering... is there no way to determine if the virus in my body has reached below detectable levels ? or is that only in females..?..

Questions which are plaguing my brain as of late..
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Avatar_m_tn
Ok... I'm not an expert, but I can refer you to the CDC's website. They have a great informational website on HPV. I will try to answer your questions to the best of my knowledge on all the research I've done over the past week!

1. There is no test for men for high-risk HPV, which is the type that causes cervical cancer. Men can be carriers for high-risk HPV without displaying symptoms. If you are having symptoms of low-risk HPV, you will exerience warts/lesions in your genital or oral area. However, some people are carriers of low-risk HPV and can pass it on to others, even if they don't have any symptoms themselves.

2. Talk to your doctor about the Gardisil and they can talk to you about getting the vaccine. It is an expensive vaccination, so you'll want to determine if the benefits outweigh the cost ($120 per shot x3 shots). If you already have low-risk HPV, the vaccine will NOT get rid of the virus. Again, my advice is to talk to your doc and determine what strain of HPV you have, and if a vaccination would be of benefit.

3. I do not think you need to refrain from oral sex, as long as you have no oral symptoms of HPV. If you are having oral symptoms of HPV, you can purchase a dental dam, which is basically just a thin, flat square condom that you use to cover the woman's vagina. Then you can please her all you want while protecting both her and yourself.

4. I don't believe there is any way to for-sure know if the virus has reached undetectable levels. Most doctors say HPV testing is useless because most people have been exposed to HPV, so other than a biopsy of a wart or if a woman has an abnormal pap, they don't really do HPV testing.

I hope I was somewhat helpful!
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Avatar_m_tn
Yup, thanks a lot.  Sucks with no way to determine the specifics...  especially with something that is apparently common...
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