Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
Distressed
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding HPV issues such as: genital warts, causes, diagnosis, cervical cancer, HPV in men, PAP tests, treatment, telling your spouse or partner

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Distressed

About 3 years ago I kept getting abnormal smears and had 3 colposcopy's 1 resulting in the removal of abnormal cells I stupidly didn't ask anything more about it (my head wasn't thinking straight at that time in my life) as eventually my smears were ok.  However my partner of 5 years contracted genital warts and believed I had cheated on him resulting in a lot of fights, heartache and us splitting up a number of times.  He had them removed however this is now the 3rd time he has contracted them from me...I hate it every time it comes to this there are arguments and I feel dirty and feel he looks at me in disgust.  Am sad that I have passed this onto him is there anything that is going to stop him getting them from me is this going to happen every few months forever???  What can I do to make it stop?
Please help  
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Unless your partner was a virgin when he met you, he has no clue of the source of his warts. None. He can't play detective with this virus unless he was a virgin at the time of first sexual contact with you. He could have been infected years before he met you and he should not be blaming you. Nor should you feel dirty. Esp since 80-85% of sexually active adults have been exposed. His theory on who infected him is crazy. Not logical.  The CDC claims the only safe sex is no sex. If he was not a virgin when you met him, then he's clueless on the source of his infection as the warts can appear many years after infection.

Not everyone who has been infected gets visible warts. Some of us believe that a weak immune system will result in warts as the body can't fight the infection. Does you two lead an unhealthy life?  Do you both smoke cigs? Drink a lot of booze? Not exercise? Eat crap food?  Not take vitamins? Have a lot of stress and get little sleep?  If yes, then he and you should consider a lifestyle change and build up your immune systems to help prevent re-occurrence. You may not get a doctor to tell you that leading a healthy life will prevent more warts, but that's what I and others here believe. That's my advice....good luck.  
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