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HPV and unprotected sex with your monogamous partner
I have several questions that for the life of me I cant seem to get a conclusive answer on any. I am a 41 year old woman that was diagnosed with HPV in February of 2011. This was detected via a standard yearly pap smear in which I was informed I had  atypical squamous cells (ASC). I have the high risk and not the wart variety. I went on to have a colposcopy, then a cervical biopsy, which then led to cryotherapy. My healing went fine and further quarterly check-ups have come back good as well.
I am in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend and have been since 3 months preceding my diagnosis. We continued having un-protected sex after I healed assuming, as my Dr. put it, he probably already was exposed and would have the same strain. I have also read that there is not a ping pong effect so this also gave us a sense, although maybe false sense of security.
Its now been over a year and a few months since diagnosed. My boyfriend has read recently that un-protected sex with someone that has the type of HPV I have can lead to mouth, throat, and possibly penile cancer. He is a mess of worry now. We are back to using condoms and no more oral sex.
My questions are this. From what I read we were engaging in the "risky" activity during the highest viral load period. That being the first year following diagnosis. How long should we actually abstain from unprotected vaginal and oral sex from the time of diagnosis?
Also I have read that HPV can be spread through a mans mouth orally, but how come not through kissing and alternatively how can a woman not also spread HPV orally as well? This doesn't make sense to me when all are mucus membranes.
I have inquired about this, repeatedly, to my physician. They always down play it and say, well then just use protection if your worried. I never seem to get a straight answer though as to the risk likelihood or how long should we "worry".
Being that there is no test for men, how can he be pro-active about feared future cancers? Is a blood test unable to determine the HPV type and if one is still in an active state?
I want to put his mind at rest, but also find honest answers to these questions. I would never want to cause more harm then may have already been caused for his nor my future health.

Thank you for any educated advice.
  
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