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Just slept with someone with HPV
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This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding HPV issues such as: genital warts, causes, diagnosis, cervical cancer, HPV in men, PAP tests, treatment, telling your spouse or partner

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Just slept with someone with HPV

Ive slept with a girl 3 times this week.  The second time we were drunk and i didnt put a condom on prior to inserting.  i just went at it a little without one then put one on later.  Neither of us climaxed before or after putting the condom on.  the next day she told me she has HPV.  she said its a low-risk strand of it and that it usually clears up in a couple years.  should i be concerned?  she said she got tiny bumps from it and an abnormal PAP.  what do you think?
Tags: HPV, Men
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Avatar_f_tn
I think you should tell the girl that she ought to tell someone BEFORE she sleeps with them that she has a condition, not after. I think that is pretty inconsiderate of her. As far as I know, HPV affects women more seriously than men but now you have to tell every woman you want to have a sexual relationship with that you have HPV. There is no FDA approved HPV test for men but I would watch for bumps. But even if you don't break out for two decades, you could still have it and still pass it along. I would go to a doctor and get a professional opinion. But research your doctor first and research what they tell you. There is a lot of **** passed around even from doctor's that isn't true. HPV is highly contractible. Maybe a naturopathic doctor could be more informative. But she should have told you before she had sex with you. She is putting other women at risk now. Shame on her.
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541093_tn?1224674496
I can surely say that you've acquired both the hpv strain low (benign wart causing) and high risk (cancer causing) but usually hpv has no ill effects for men and goes away at its own within 6-24 months... why i can say surely that she has high risk strain is because of her abnormal pap result... if you had used condoms, you were only protected upto 70% only... condoms are not that effective against hpv transmission... both of you were drunk at the time you had sex and didn't worry about any protections so I would say it was fault at both ends...
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Avatar_f_tn
Naveed is right - condoms are only 70% effective so it's possible you contracted whatever strain(s) of the virus she had the very first time you had sex together.
Also - did you ever consider that you too may have transmitted a strain to her that she never had already? Unless you have never had any type of sexual contract prior to her you likely were already carrying a strain(s) of HPV. For most people there are no symptoms and they will NEVER know they have it, a woman can test negative for is but still have it. The digeine test can only detect an active infection, if it is dormant a woman will not know she has HPV. You both decided to have sex without a condom - yourself as well. By doing so you made the decision to expose yourself to whatever she knew or didn't know that she had.
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Avatar_n_tn
wow, so you guys are saying its pretty much guaranteed that i have HPV now?  i honestly thought id be fine :/  I dont really sleep around alot.  ive only ever been with 8 women including this one, and 2 of the women were long term relationships.  so i doubt i was carrying a strand of it beforehand.  and yes, she def should have told me before we had sex.  i honestly wasnt even that mad cause i thought HPV was relatively harmless.  like i know it can cause cervical cancer, but from what ive heard the warts are a rare side effect.  so will the disease actually go away in a year?  cause i dont want to end up giving my wife HPV down the line when were trying to have children.  that would be just awful.  and how do you know if you even have it or that it went away?
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657020_tn?1238041118
Because there is no hpv test for men, you'll never know whether you're still infected with hpv or not. Yes, it is extremely probable that you did contract hpv. If I were you, I'd consider myself positive for hpv.

Naveed is right, it sounds like she has not only a wart causing strain of hpv but also a strain capable of causing cervical cancer in women. Low risk strains may cause genital warts, but many people never do have symptoms. High risk strains cause cervical cell dysplasia and from the abnormal pap, it sounds like this girl does have cell dysplasia. Cell dysplasia can lead to cervical cancer but doesn't usually. It all depends on the individual's immune system and how well it fights off the virus. I'm sorry but I believe she misinformed you of her actual situation regarding hpv infection :(

I would strongly advise you to simply be honest with a future partner. Do a lot of research on hpv so that you can clearly and understandably explain the situation to a future potential partner. Inquire of a potential partner whether or not she has had the hpv vaccine and if not, ask her to get vaccinated. Now don't quote me on this but I believe the vaccine protects against all strains that cause cervical cancer and also protects against the strains that are responsible for 95% of genital warts.

Because so little is known about hpv, there are no definitive answers as to whether the virus ever does leave the system, or whether it simply goes dormant. There is also speculation that strains go dormant for some, but completely clear for others. We simply don't know right now. The best you can do for yourself now is take extra measures to boost your immune system and help to clear the virus. Read through some posts here, you might find some helpful information :)
Good luck!
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Avatar_f_tn
Having been with 8 women you still likely contracted a strain(s) of HPV prior to this current relationship, it doesn't matter if condoms were used or if the relationships were long term. HPV is extremely commom, 80% of the population has it and most will NEVER know because there are usually no symptoms or ill-effects that coupled with HPV's ability to lay dormant for years (over 20 even) before becomming active - if if ever does makes it nearly impossible to know when and from whom it was contracted. When you have sex with someone you truly are exposing yourself to every single sexual partner (as well as their partner's partner's, etc) that they have ever had. There is no way to know if you have it. Only women, currently, can be tested for it and just because they don't test positive does not mean they don't have it. It only means that HPV is not active, they can still have HPV only it is dormant at the time of testing.
As for the vaccine, Gardasil vaccinates against 4 strains of HPV, 2 of which are of the high risk category respsonsible for 70% of cervical cancer and the other 2 are of the low risk category causing 90% of genital warts.
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Avatar_n_tn
ok so if 80% of the population has HPV and cervical cancer isnt a very well known cancer these days (compared to breast or lung), then even high-risk strands of HPV arent all that bad or at least theres very few high-risk strands?  maybe flawed logic, but seriously, 80%?  thats a ridiculous amount.

and about the genital warts, i heard they were an uncommon side effect.  but above you mentioned HPV is cause for 90% of all genital warts....does that mean ill likely get them?  she said she had tiny bumps, not warts, so i dunno if it was the same thing or not.  and also, can the genetal warts spread to the mouth during oral sex just like they can with herpes?
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes - that is exactly it!! :-) HPV is so very common but very few people actually ever develop any ill effects from it. There are over 100 strains of HPV, of those over 30 are genital and can be either of the high risk category (potential to cause cancer) or low risk category (wart causing). While 80% of the population will have an active infection by the time they are 50 - nowhere near 80% of the population develops cervical dysplasia/cancer or genital warts. HPV is fought by the immune system, the stronger the immune system and the healthier the lifestyle the less likely a strain(s) will become or remain active. If your girlfriend has had an abnormal pap then she definitely has a least 1 or more strains of high risk HPV (there are approximately 13 high risk strains, #16 and #18 being the most agressive - which Gardasil vaccinates against).
It's hard to say if you will develop genital warts. It's possible you have already been exposed to one or more strains of low risk HPV and your immune system has cleared it (or pushed into dormancy) without you ever developing them. She would likely have been tested for HPV in a pap smear (if she is 30 or older) and the digiene test would have told her whether her strain(s) were of the HR or LR category or both.
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Avatar_n_tn
ok well now i feel better.  i asked her about her PAP again to make sure.  she said her doc said she has a low-risk strand.  and the warts she had were so small she could barely even see them.
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657020_tn?1238041118
As a woman who has high risk hpv and cervical cell dysplasia, I would still strongly suggest you urge a future partner in getting vaccinated before becoming intimate with her. Having high risk hpv affects a woman's sense of worth, causes worry and stress, puts her through multiple paps, colpos, biopsies, and possibly a treatment called a leep where the cells are removed. The leep does not always but can cause problems with pregnancy. In addition, when a woman who has hpv becomes pregnant, her immune system is down so to speak which heightens her chances of the hpv reactivating during pregnancy even if the woman cleared the virus before becoming pregnant. I'm not trying to scare you or put a damper on your sense of relief. Hpv is certainly not the worst thing that can happen in life. But you seem like someone who would care enough about a future partner (possibly wife) to take measures not to put her through that.

And I don't mean to speak badly about your friend here (I honestly try not to be judgmental because no one is perfect) but if she was dishonest enough not to tell you she had hpv before you slept together, who's to say she is being honest now in telling you she only has low risk hpv?

Fyi, I don't drink and I don't do any drugs. When I was diagnosed with cervical cell dysplasia, I was (and am) leading a pretty healthy lifestyle including eating healthy and exercising 5 days a week rain or shine. The only unhealthy thing I was doing was smoking cigarettes about a pack a day. This is proof that a woman does not need to engage in a slew of unhealthy habits for high risk hpv to have a negative effect on her body in causing cell changes.

Sorry this was so long but I thought it was important to mention these things. Good luck :)
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Avatar_f_tn
I wanted to add that I too have HR-HPV and have been dealing with CIN3/CIS (carcinoma in situ) for nearly 3 years with numerous colposcopies, biopsies and surgeries. I fully understand the complications and risks and emotionaly vulnerability that go along with HR-HPV but due to my own experience I have made it my own personal cause to inform others about HPV, how common it truly is and to fight the rediculous stigma that goes hand and hand with it. Any person that believes "No, not me", "I've been careful", "that only happens to other people" or people that think of HPV always means cancer (which it doesn't) will only fuel the stigma. Yes, HPV ***** if you are a person that doesn't have an immune system that can fight off an active infection and I hate that I have it but I certainly don't blame anyone for it. Most people will never have any idea they have it (so how could blame them) but the vast majority of the population will clear an infection with no ill effects.
Yes there are risks to HR-HPV and it would be wonderful if the virus could be eradicated but today's medical system/reasearch studies are not set up towards prevention, they aren't pro-active but instead reactive and until that changes, we as a society will need to learn to live with the fact that HPV is extremely common and will, in all probability continue to be so . The only way things will ever change is if either the medical field (vaccination programs as well) change their treatment plans or  people change their beliefs about sex and decide to 'save' themselves for marriage, otherwise there will always be the potential for exposure.
The best thing a person can do for themselves once they know they do have HPV is to keep a healthy lifestyle in order to keep their immune system as stong as possible, which involves exercise, low stress, healthy eating with lots of cruciferous vegetables, no smoking (which is an immunosuppressant and when combined with HPV doubles the risk for cervical cancer) and adequate rest, also, if your are a woman nothing irritating in the vagina until the active infection has cleared. The longer an HPV infection is active the more likely dysplasia will develop.
I hope that all made sense - I may have been rambling.
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Avatar_f_tn
I also wanted to say that I agree with Amanda and many of the others in that I am very surprised she never told you she knew she had HPV. While you both made the decision to have intercourse without the benefit of condom (even though they are not 100% effective) you both then decided to expose yourself to whatever the other one may or may not have. Even though HPV is so common, she would have known her infection was active and therefore contagious - she should have said something to you. If I was in the same scenario, I can't imagine not telling the person I was with that I had an active HPV infection, condom or no condom.
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657020_tn?1238041118
"If I was in the same scenario, I can't imagine not telling the person I was with that I had an active HPV infection, condom or no condom."

I fully agree with this statement simplynat. I would never think of entering into a sexual relationship (ESP casual sex) without telling them that I have high risk hpv. Now if it was someone I really cared about who was fully informed of the situation and understood the risks associated AND infection to another woman would be HIGHLY unlikely, things might be different. Basically, I don't want to be the cause of another woman having to go through all this. Even without progression to cervical cancer, this stuff is no fun. What I'm saying is, I'd make darn sure it was someone I planned to be around before making the decision to enter into a sexual relationship.

I personally believe that when you sleep with someone, you're basically telling that person that to the best of your knowledge, you don't have any stds (or they have been informed previously of the situation). I don't think it should be necessary to have to ask your partner whether or not they have stds. I think it should be common courtesy and involve caring enough about that person to let them know. BUT I also do not support casual sex nor have I ever, so most of my beliefs on sex are based on a relationship setting. But I still feel a friend should care enough to let you know.

I never thought it couldn't happen to me. I was always the one preaching to my friends about sex and handing out condoms. I actually requested that my ex fiance be tested for stds before we slept together and I still ended up unprotected. This stuff just happens, you know? I will admit though, like most people who do not have hpv, I was totally clueless about it. I knew it could cause warts and cancer, and that it went away after a while (I no longer agree with this statement). But that was it on the extent of my knowledge about hpv. I didn't know it could be transmitted with proper use of condoms. I didn't even know men are not tested. So I have basically gone on a mission to learn all I can about hpv, and I've also learned quite a little bit on hsv as well, and then I distribute this information to other people, whether they ask for it or not lol.
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Avatar_n_tn
thanx for the input, all.  yeah, i found out last night just how selfish, bitchy, and crazy this girl is.  and now im never talking to her again.  apparently after  we BOTH explicitly stated we dont want to be in a relationship and just want to be friends, she still had some kind of feelings for me.  last night i simply asked her no to tell my 2 female friends that we slept together cause theyre good friends with my ex, and i dont want to hurt my ex.  we broke up on good terms.  so the girl flipped **** , poured her drink on me at the bar, and the ransacked my room.  wow, lol.  def done with that girl.  just hopefully i somehow didnt catch the HPV in the 3 times we slept together :/
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Avatar_f_tn
i think that thats messed up how she not gonna tell u i know its a hrad thing to do and u mite not have slept with her if u knew but damn....she should have atleast demanded u wore a condom i hate ppl like dat i have tell guys that i have hpv yah its hurts if they look at u funny but that ish can stay with u foreva it aint sumthing to play with ...i think u got it but im not a doctor but i think its a geniatal to genital thing and yahss touched its a skin virus it doesnt travel in ur blood so im thinkin u got it....but dont brake at her bout it, bt she was wrong
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Avatar_m_tn
What seems to be missing from this stream is the link between HPV and penis cancer.  Unfortunately the HPV dialogue historically has mainly been limited to the effect on women.  HPV affects both men and women.  The mucosa of the penis can be affected just as the mucosa of the cervix or vagina. Unfortunately, if a man goes to the doctor and asks for an HPV test, unless there is a wart, he will be told "there is no test".  Actually the technology exists, it is more a matter of politics, marketing, apathy and ignorance that men are not screened for HPV.  After all, according to the medical profession, you almost certainly have it anyway.  
Best advice - make sure your wife / girlfriend has a pap smear at least once a year.  It is very inexpensive.
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Avatar_n_tn
to sweets9790 you have to be non judgemental is hard to talk to people like you we all know that girl is a b----- shes playing whit fire in these case hes health and others because shes not an honest person im almost sure she lie to you smell the coffee just to keep you she obviously had a low risk warts and high risk cervical displasia come on now she told you and now shes saying is only a low risk come on put it together this girl is been lying to you the whole time shes wicked, manipulative,crazy,dishonest,etc and i dont really see it was your fault yes you made a choice to not ware a condom but theres no proof or paper that says they have hpv high or low risk it could happend to anyone even the one who judge you cause he or she could bite his on toungue and i thing the outcome of being honest  would have been  better you could have ended up together whit some restrictions and even a family be created come on sex is not everything so dont judge anyone thats honest cause it takes courage to talk about something like this communication is important so dont look at them less than you, like i said it could happen to ANYONE theres wicked people that wont tell you if they carry herpes hpv HIV etc this is a wicked world whit only few good people BELIEVE me cause theres no paper that proves you have hpv or herpes so you cant prove it to your partner and you cant rely on some people cause there evil dont be scared to ask them about there sex illness history communication is better youll be surprised how the outcome turns out and please get to know the person first before you engage in to sex theres red flags and behaviors that will tell you about them dont waste your time or life dont worry theres a brave woman for you out there that will accept you that way you are whit your strenghts and flaws is better to be honest believe me sorry that happend and sorry to disapoint you the virus will awalys stay whit you but theres hope dont forget
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Avatar_n_tn
sorry i forgot the details that was only a short contact whitout condom but i hope that youre ok if not i hope this is a learning lesson whitout consequences if it turns out positive then deal whit the consequences and dont be hard on your self remember theres still hiv out there and you should learn from these and theres also other test out there like prostate, testicular and penile cancer escreenings and others since theres no test for hpv that could be a test since theres no specific test for hpv these could detect reproductive cancers in ther early stage when theres a cure you should tell your future partner about it cause it could stay dormant.
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8275371_tn?1397429598
i was in a 5 year relationship i have been with only 3 men. It started with him getting a wart, we paid no mind until they starting increasing in number. we both got tested and it was confirmed that we have HPV i am not sure which strain or type. But he left me because of it saying i was not faithfull.He practically hates e now :( i am not sure which one of us gave it to each other. But what happens now. I cant date anyone and risk infecting others what should i do? it does not help getting over him either.
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