Oral sex, oral cancer and the true threat.

Hello everyone,

I've had a tough 6 months struggling with sexually transmitted diseases - not that I have any, but I fear them way too much. I've honestly got over all my fears, except for an oral cancer due to HPV.

The thing is, I've been in a monogamous relationship for 2 years now... or at least that's what I thought. I've performed oral sex for around 20 seconds on my girlfriend some time ago just to see what it's like. A week after this she told me she had in fact cheated on me and another guy had licked her clitoris 3-5 times (no penetration, this was the only sexual contact they had). Her contact with the guy and my contact with her were brief, but unfortunately I'm very good at worrying about things and it's no surprise really that it's really hard for me to accept this.

The internet is a real b&%¤h since it's filled with so much misinformation and bias that's got me worrying. I've probably read every article here on medhelp concerning pharyngeal cancer and hpv 16, and I believe I have a correct understanding of this issue. Still for some reason, I can't help worrying about it. There are some questions I'd love to have answers for... not that they haven't been answered here on the sit before but it's different when someone addresses my questions directly. I hope someone is that kind.

1) Besides the contact my girlfriend had for 3-5 licks with the other male, neither one of us have had any sexual contact with aynone else. I know it's possible that she got hpv 16 in her vagina from the contact, and that I then contracted it into my mouth, but what is the true risk?

2) I've seen so many different figures here on the community forum and the doctors forum, but it's really unclear to me at the moment. The doctors and people keep replying the chance for oral cancer due to hpv 16 is low, but I see figures such as 1-2% once in a while. From what I have understood, hpv 16 in the mouth is common and to me if every 50th person is to get oral cancer from it, isn't that actually quite a decent risk? I read many articles such as this http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/6639461.stm which stated a 32-fold increase in the risk of oral cancer for hpv positive people. If the chance of developing oral cancer for a person is around 1.5% fora lifetime, wouldn't 32-fold mean that there would be a 48% chance of developing oral cancer from hpv 16... that's every second person!?

Could someone please give me the best possible estimate of the chance of oral cancer developing due to hpv 16 in the mouth?

3) I don't mind attending the dentist regularly for a check-up for any lesions, but what is a sensible frequency? Every 6 months, every year...?

Thank you already for any and all replies!

[vandykd3]

Dude, welcome to the subset of people who worry a thousand million percent over and above what they should be worrying.  I'm not reproaching you, if you read back on my posts from my initial diagnosis, or with my recent herpes scare (all in my head), you'll see that I understand your angle as I was/am much the same way. Not only that, but I've been posting on this site for like three years now and I've seen a lot of personal reactions to HPV.  I'm here to tell you that your reaction is near the top of unnecessary worrying, YOu're doing more than making a mountain out of a mole hill, you are making a mountain out of a grain of sand.  

First of all, if you've been in a relationship with your girl for two years now, you should be performing oral sex on her all the time.  Shame on you for being to scared to do so.  I hope you don't expect or desire her to go down on you in an unreciprocated manner.  To each their own though as they are comfortable.  

Second, the risk of oral cancer is so low even if you did go down on her all the time.  For your pathetic 20 seconds and his 3-5 licks you have absolutely zero risk.  Sure there is a risk, but it's so close to zero that for all practical purposes it is zero.  If you choose to worry about this any longer, you must change your thinking to admit that it is merely compulsive worry that you are attaching to for the sake of worry and not for any real threat.  

Third, this recent spat of articles about oral increase may be true but is also sensationalized.  Every time they say autism is increasing one thing they always say is better detection methods.  The same is true with HPV. Detection methods are way better now so the rate of increase may not be increasing at all, rahter they are detecting it more as HPV than they did back in the day.  From what I have read the risk is nothing to be worried about because it is so low and also because, even if you did get it, the risk of it progressing to a harmful stage is also ridiculously low.  You have to ask yourself, is a lifetime of fear and oral avoidance worth this laughably low risk factor that I can have treated effectively anyway?  To me it is not.  I will take my chances with oral thank you very much.  Does this mean I'll be eating out prostitutes or sluts from the bar?  No, but I will pleasure my girl a lot.  

So, to put all your answers in one place, it is my estimation that:

1)  Your true risk is so close to zero that it is zero

2) The best possible estimate for HPV 16 in the mouth to become cancer is so close to zero that for all practical purposes it is zero.  Especially for you and your stated history of oral.  

3)  Don't know the true answer for this but it can't be that frequently. Once a year is fine i'm sure.  

[Darjawa]

Thanks so much for the reply! You really made me feel a lot better about the problem. I'm just thinking about the comment you had for question 2 concerning the chance of it progressing to cancer being so low. How about the study with the 32-fold chance? Is the chance really so low? I'd appreciate if you or someone could put it into a little perspective.

But hey still, thanks so much! Appreciate your comment a lot and I feel so much better already. If anyone else wants to reply, I'll be more than happy.

[vandykd3]

The only perspective I can put it in for you is that you are holding on for dear life to your anxiety.  I'm here to tell you bro that you have absolutely nothing to worry about.  From what I can tell from your short description of your behaviors, you're not even a guy who performs oral sex. Now, I can imagine a little worry if you ate out 100 party ****** you don't know at all, but it your case my friend, you got no business worrying about a study that you don't even belong to the cohort of.  Remember how it is with autism?  Suddenly autism is on the rise everywhere and there are articles all over about it.  Scientists say that it's better detection methods perhaps driving the increase.  IT's the same with HPV.  Medicine has better decection methods now than fifty years ago.  That study might not be noticing any trend at all, but rather the effect of better detection methods.  Having said that, stop worry about it and let it go. You are not a risk candidate.  Imagine if I posted being afraid to go outside because of lighting and wouldn't take any rational answer to heart.  We all know getting struck by lightning is really rare, even for those who are out in storms all the time.  How much less rare for me who never goes outside?  You are the guy that doesn't go outside.  That's all I can say. You can do it.  Let it all go and be cool my friend.  It takes an act of focused release sometimes, but it's worth it.  Good luck!

[Darjawa]

I appreciate your answers more than you may think, thank you so much! It's a privilege for anxious people like me that there are people like you out there ready to help realize how things really are. I wish all the best to you!

If someone still wants to add something I'll be happy to get some more opinions. Otherwise, thank you medhelp and vandykd3.

[alahue]

http://www.curetoday.com/index.cfm/fuseaction/article.show/id/2/article_id/1934

http://www.pri-med.com/PMO/DigitalAssets/Shared%20Files/Syllabus%20Files%20Spring%202012/C&E/NYC/Track%203-Session%203_HPV_Updates-NYC_ONLINE.pdf

[Darjawa]

... your point?

[alahue]

Nobody really, more than to link the newly written page on the subject, there are many opinions about the risks and causes, difficult at really knowing what applies

[Darjawa]

Alright.

Anyone else have any opinions on whether I should be worried at all?

[alahue]

You may be worried if you wish but it changes nothing, neither the risk or the future, nothing happens because of that you are concerned about and no one does not happen because of that you are concerned about, such a relationship does not exist, but if you should worry about is it is much more to life that is more likely that you can worry about

[alahue]

lue tämä ....

[alahue]

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Oral-HPV-and-cancer-risk/show/1740401#post_7978763

[Darjawa]

Alright, thank you for your replies.

Does anyone else want to fill in? How big is the risk really?

[vandykd3]

Dude, not to brow beat you but you have your answer already.  The risk is zero for all practical purposes.  If jesus came down and told you zero, would you still ask around so you can keep worrying.  I say this with all love of course.  Worry is a tough monkey to throw off your back.  I know this for myself.  You can't just stop worrying about something very easily if you are prone to worry.  What I would make your primary focus going forward is to always tell yourself that it's your tendency to worry and not let go that you are dealing with.  You have absolutely nothing to worry about.  Not only that, but the other poster is right, what good does worrying about it do anyway?  You can do it buddy!  Change your paradigm so that this is about worry, not about risk.  Do that and let go and you'll look back it fifty years and say "hey, check it out, not throat cancer.  Cool!"    :)

[vandykd3]

Dude, not to brow beat you but you have your answer already.  The risk is zero for all practical purposes.  If jesus came down and told you zero, would you still ask around so you can keep worrying.  I say this with all love of course.  Worry is a tough monkey to throw off your back.  I know this for myself.  You can't just stop worrying about something very easily if you are prone to worry.  What I would make your primary focus going forward is to always tell yourself that it's your tendency to worry and not let go that you are dealing with.  You have absolutely nothing to worry about.  Not only that, but the other poster is right, what good does worrying about it do anyway?  You can do it buddy!  Change your paradigm so that this is about worry, not about risk.  Do that and let go and you'll look back it fifty years and say "hey, check it out, not throat cancer.  Cool!"    :)

[soscared872]

3-5 licks..."how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll?" - an advertisement from a candy company. I'd say 50 licks.

Anyway your fear should subside after eighteen months. What the doctors say is true.

The bible-thumpers and the big pharmaceutical companies want you to panic about oral HPV. It ain't mucking futch. But you should now be aware of the risks. If you keep your same partner and are monogamous you cannot pass it back and forth. I have the screenname so-scared. I'm not so scared as I was. I see dentists regularly. The dentists and hygienists are your first line defense. And the survival rate of oral HPV cancer is high.