I am a 35 y/o female who just got out of a 4 year committed relationship. I recently got diagnosed with genital warts and I am trying to shake the feeling that I am now doomed to be alone and celibate for the rest of my life. I have read the posts where the doctors say this condition is minor and merely an inconvenience. I can't understand how they can express that opinion. Because of the warts, protected sex is a must. This seems to preclude a long term committed relationship because, inevitably, you will have unprotected sex and if the relationship indeed turns out to be headed toward marriage, you will want to start a family and that usually requires unprotected sex the last time I checked. I know that the doctors on this forum say that once you treat the warts they rarely come back, but rarely is not never, especially for someone like me who is immune-compromised. There IS NO CURE for the virus, so it does stay with you forever. On top of the factors I just mentioned, there is the larger looming issue of the negative perception, connotation, and reaction that comes with having an STD. If I were to even have a chance of a meaningful relationship, I am pretty sure that once I say "You know, I have genital warts and it’s an incurable STD that I could give to you without even knowing it", I wouldn't even be able to count to 1 before the guy made a beeline for the nearest exit point. It's not like I'm some supermodel beauty queen where a man would overlook certain flaws like that. With this diagnosis, I feel like it is an end to my sex life, my love life, and a sentence to live my life in complete loneliness and isolation, which is no life at all. Any advice or suggestions on how to cope?
Yes, I have some advice. It may sound cold but do realize that if you meet someone who is sexually active, they have it too. They may not realize they have it or have any warts, but if they have had 4 or more partners then they have it too. That doomed feeling will go away when you have gone 6-12 months with no warts. Since safe sex doesn't prevent spreading the disease, it is inevitable that anyone you are intimate with will get your strains. What is weird about this STD is when you look at the STD dating sites, maybe 10% of the people there have it listed with 90% having herpes or HepC or HIV. This means that the ones who have it aren't telling and aren't looking to date others with HPV. This is one of the reasons why it is spreading fast - people aren't admitting they have this or had this in their past. After you inform new partners that they probably have it and you are not infectious at that time, they tend to understand this better. If they really love you, they will stay with you.
You should boost your immune system via exercise, more rest, supplements, vitamins, healthy eating, reduced alcohol, no smoking, less stress, etc. Email me if you have questions.
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