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Terribly confused...

by Holdingouthope, Jun 10, 2008 02:10PM
Well, where should I begin? I suppose I should start by saying that I briefly dated a girl who has had moderate/severe cervical dysplasia. We were intimate with each other just once. We engaged in both vaginal and oral sex. I, of course, did wear a condom. This same girl has only recently gone back for a follow-up, so I'm still waiting to hear what her current status is. I know she had this when I dated her six months ago because she hasn't dated anyone since me (and vice versa).

Here's my problem; I've met someone new, and she is a wonderful girl. It's the first time since I was with the other woman that I've found someone who I think I might have a real chance with, and I'm ecstatic about it. Thing is, I've been wondering what the odds are that I contracted HPV from the first woman. I've also been wondering how to explain this to the new person that I've started dating. Is it possible to give her a rough idea of what the chances are that I have HPV? Is it possible that the first girl simply had a false positive? What are the odds that I could end up passing this on (assuming I do have it) to this new girl? I've also read that the body typically "clears" the infection within two years time, but does that mean that once it has been cleared, you will no longer be able to transmit it to someone else? What is the common reaction of women when a man informs them of something like this? I just don't know how to approach this. In fact, as much as I hate to admit, I'm very scared, and a part of me almost wants to walk away now because I'm afraid that I could put this new girl in a terribly difficult situation, and I don't want to do that to her, even if it means giving up what I really want the most (a relationship with her). I should point out that she is 33 years old (I'm 26 myself), so I suppose that she has had conversations with her own doctor about HPV, and maybe she already understands it? I don't know. I'm not sure how to handle to this. Would you be kind enough to provide me with some guidance on this please?
Member Comments (3)

by ibizan, Jun 10, 2008 06:19PM
To: holdingout
if u wore a condom all the time when u had sex that would reduce transmission 60-90%.men can get high risk hpv the body will clear it average time 6-24 months.yes ur lady friend should get regular paps and be tested for HPV as all sexually active women should be and regular paps in general yearly.It is good to know if ur new interest has had any other std's...and u to share that as well.Ur worry is needlessly high...be glad u do not have warts..nice to know if she ever has....be honest with each other....and the best of luck and happiness 2 u both!

by BigBirdinAL, Jun 10, 2008 09:18PM
To: Holdingouthope
From reading your post, I see that you had sex with a woman who had been found to have moderate to severe dysplasia. You did not indicate that she has actually been diagnosed with HPV.  Before you stress over this, find out for sure if her dysplasia is
actually caused by HPV.
You can have dysplasia without having HPV. I am living proof.
12 years ago I was found to have dysplasia, had the paps, HPV testing, Colposcopy, and a Laser Co2 ablation of the cervix. All this time later, the dysplasia returns, I am
still HPV negative and have had to go through the paps, testing, colposcopy and LEEP surgery.
So moral to the story, DON'T stress unless you are sure you have something to stress about.  Ask your former partner if she has in fact been found to be HPV positive or if
her dysplasia is attributed to other causes. It can happen !

by lov4life, Jun 10, 2008 11:58PM
To: BigBirdinAL
I was told, by my doctor, that all cases of Dysplasia are indeed HPV. I really wish that I would have had an actual HPV test back in 2004 to see if I had HPV. What are other causes of Dysplasia then, if not HPV??? This is very interesting.
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