What are my chances? The Unknown is killing me

[theguy933]

Not too long ago one night a girl I was seeing and I were making out for the first time ever. Things went a bit farther, she told me to put my hand in her pants and then I began fingering her. After that there was maybe fifteen minute window before she then gave me a blowjob. I dont remember touching myself after all of that. But I do know right when I went home I went to bed and sometimes when I sleep I sleep with my hands next to my crotch. Anyways. two days later she tells me that she has to tell me something because we were going to plan on going all the way and then she tells me that she has high risk HPV.

What kind of exposure am I faced with? Is it safe to say I have it? I know there is no test for men and I have no idea what to tell any new sexual partners. I have no Idea what to tell my friends because my friends and I always share the same joint, cigarette, blunt when we are around each other. do they risk having it too from me? How much do I have to worry? Wouldn't that mean that there would be so much more cases of people with HPV if it could be transmitted as easy as saliva? It doesnt make sense how they say "use protection to prevent HPV" when apparently you can just get it by sharing the same joint or open mouth kissing. But this is why I post this today because I need professional answers. I want to have sex again and be confident again with women but Id never want to accidentally give them something that can lead them to having cancer.

I've been very upset about this because I feel it could have been all avoided if she would have told me from the beginning

[theguy933]

Thank you very much. I feel much better about the situation

[veryworried420]

First off, oral HPV is not that easy to pass as genital sex. High risk HPV does not always lead to cancer, maybe 4-5%. Given that this gal wasn't your first partner, what makes you think you didn't already get exposed to it? The CDC says each partner is a 20% risk and 80% (4 partners) is the point where you were probably exposed to it. Have you been with 4 or more women in your entire life? Your chances are low from a one time event, but its not zero.

Passing HPV via cigs or joints or cups or kissing is always possible but not probable. If your friends aren't virgins, they may already have it.

As a man, all you can do is get tested for every STD that a man can get tested for (Herpes is very popular too) and inform your future partner of your results. Informing future partners of past lovers issues is optional. Doctors think that 8 out of 10 sexually active people have been exposed to HPV. Meaning its difficult to find someone who doesn't have it. What are the odds that you are going to date someone who hasn't slept with 4 or more men in their entire life? Probably very low.  

If necessary, educate future partners of what this is and why they probably have it.  http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv.htm

Your only other choice is to join a STD dating site and find someone with HPV too. The virus never leaves the body and so anyone who has a positive diagnosis, has it for life. Women who have procedures done and are told that they "are clean" could become infectious again years or decades later. Should you join a STD dating site, you will see that there are very few women who admit to having it. Meanwhile 80% of all sexually active adults have it. Which mean the majority of infected people aren't saying anything. For a good reason. People don't know (men can't get tested), people refuse to admit or its pointless to admit since the alternative (celibacy for life) is impossible. BTW, most men are carriers since they can't get tested for it.

[Meg19872222]

Hello, I have high risk hpv as well, you are at risk of getting it through oral sex as well as actual sex.