What do I do now that I have HPV

[bobby6178]

I've been clear of warts for 3 years now.  I thought I was done with them.  How I got it, I have no idea.  I have my suspicions and have called out 2 girls but both have denied anything.  I've been having protected sex with my current girlfriend and have told her about my past occurence with genital warts and even brought her to see my doctor to consult her and we both advised her to get the gardasil vaccine.  Unfortuneately, she has just been diagnosed with genital warts and her paps came back abnormal.  I guess it was too late.  Maybe there was some forplay friction prior to protected sex...I don't know.  I feel horrible.  I thought I tried to do everything I could do to protect her from me.  But HPV continues to haunt me and this recent event has put me back into free fall worrying again.  I realize that it is supposed to be common, but I can't deal with going through these feelings again.  The treatment is painful enough.  The lifetime of telling new sexual partners is equally as bad.  Thinking of who the hell gave this to me also makes me angry/depressed.  I feel horrible.  I never meant to hurt anyone and feel very trapped in any kind of sexual relationship I have.  Any comments welcome.

[hildur]

so do you have to tell everyone you have sex with that you had HPV, even if you don't have it anymore?

[bobby6178]

I generally don't tell the first couple of times or if the girl will most likely be a one night thing.  I have protected sex each time.  If I see the relationship progressing I will tell them about it and advise them to get the vaccine.  I have told my previous 2 girlfriends.  

What about you?

[chicachica888]

How can you be sure that she got the warts from you?
These warts are so common that she could have gotten them from a prior sexual partner

[bobby6178]

I'm not sure.  It is possible that she got them from someone else.  But what are the odds it's someone else if I have it and then she gets it?  Are they that common?  I never really heard of it until it happened to me.  A doctor actually mis-diagnosed her at the start thinking that everything looked fine.  She tells me not to blame myself and actually has asked some previous partners about their history hoping to find out that it wasn't me.  But neither (2 asked) said that they had a history.

[worriedwart2009]

Did yur other 2 GF's get warts? It is possible your present GF got it from someone else, especially as youv been clear for 3yrs and still have no warts present...this kinda thing is uncommon! As for her exes disclosing info, my ex has never admitted to giving it to me...but he was a liar and a thief and I got them within 3 months after our relationship ended...so doesnt take a brain surgeon to put it together! Dont be hard on yourself...shes accepted it, it goes away. I had to tell my BF a month ago and he was amazingly calm and didnt care about it at all!

[bobby6178]

The first gf I told, she kinda shrugged it off too like it was no big deal and got the vaccine after too.  She left me for her ex-bf in another city so I have no idea since I haven't been in contact with her.  She didn't have anything while I was with her and she insisted on unprotected sex after both of us had been checked for other STDs and came up clear.

The second gf is my current gf and she just recently has been diagnosed with warts.  She was fairly calm about it too when I told her and is getting the vaccine as well.  But the worst is yet to come for her I think since she will have to be treated.  She also had abnormal paps, which kinda makes me think that it wasn't me since I've never had a gf have that before.  I heard it is very common though (about 1 in 3).  

When I had it 3 years ago, me and my gf at the time didn't even know what it was.  We thought it was hair folicals that got infected and didn't heal properly.  But when she started to get them, I got it checked out and it turned out to be warts.  I still keep in contact with her a little and she says she has had no problems at all and hasn't even told her current boyfriend about it.

I think I know who I got it from and she was not very honest either and very sketchy.  It was a one time thing.  I regret my actions.

So are you in the clear?  Do you think HPV eventually goes away for good?  

[hildur]

I just got got infected with the virus two months ago, I haven't had sex since, so I was curious if I had to tell everyone I had sex with about it the rest of my life, I wouldn't want to do that, so thanks :)

[bobby6178]

To be honest I am not really sure if you would have to tell anyone for the rest of your life.  The way I understand it, it can lay dormant in your body, but it can also reappear and shed.  So I really don't have a 100% answer for you.  It's like chicken pocks, they go away, but it still remains in you.  Does it ever go away 100% and will you have to tell every partner??....I don't know...It's kinda my question too.  I've heard mixed answers.

[worriedwart2009]

if its been longer than 6months and its a casual relationship, I wouldnt tell...you dont want soething this private spread around town...if its a serious relationship, long term...you should tell, incase it pops up or your partner gets it, explaining then would cause anger at dishonesty, feelings of betrayel, or even suspecting unfaithfulness!
I recently told my BF...he was actually AMAZING!!! Just said "what happened in your past, is your past, it doesnt change who you are and how i feel!"
We have a great, honest, open relationship and I feel it has made us incredibly close!
Good luck!