This forum is an un-mediated, patient-to-patient forum for questions and support regarding HPV issues such as: genital warts, causes, diagnosis, cervical cancer, HPV in men, PAP tests, treatment, telling your spouse or partner
Several months ago I went in for a routine pap smear that showed some abnormal cells. Immediately I freaked out and asked if it mean't I had HPV, and they said usually it does, but that it's very common and nothing to worry about. I went back in for the gyno to take a closer look, and she also took a sample, but said that everything looks absolutely fine, my cervix was "beautiful" and that I didn't even have to come back in for another year. I also had routine STD testing (chlamydia, gonorrhea etc.) done at this time, and she gave me a script for bloodwork to test for HIV, Hepatitis, Syphilis etc. and I had that done immediately and everything came back fine, as expected, I just wanted to be safe because I hadn't been tested in a couple years.
I asked her if this HPV thing was something I needed to share with any past, current, or FUTURE partners, and she said absolutely not, because it's so common, and that it doesn't harm males, and that if someone has had sexual contact with more than one person they are almost guaranteed to come in contact with it at some point, and not even know it.
I've since educated myself as much as I can about HPV, and have talked to numerous girlfriends of mine about it, and several of them have it as well, and their doctors said not to worry or share it either. This put me at ease greatly.
I know there are strains that can cause genital warts, but apparently that is NOT what I have. I have never had any kind of genital problem before in my entire life.
Also, the gyno told me to begin getting the Gardisil shots to prevent me from exposure to the other various strains in the future, and I did.
HOWEVER, recently I ended up having unprotected sex with someone new (yes, I realize it was extremely foolish, please do not preach to me about this, it is beside the point) and a mutual friend who knew about my HPV decided to tell him about it for fear of his safety. (This guy has also had QUITE a number of sexual partners under his belt, and I'm talking 20+ without a doubt, but he says he is clean and I don't think he would lie to me)
I am devastated, embarrassed, hurt, and mortified. This guy, who apparently didn't know what HPV was, is now extremely freaked/grossed out and upset I didn't tell him. I would never want to hurt or endanger anyone, I was simply doing what my doctor(s) told me to. And also, if what he's said is true about his sexual history, it shouldn't be a concern anyway because he's almost 100% likely to have been exposed before.
When you Google HPV, the FIRST thing to come up is "genital warts", and the CDC and various other websites make it sound like a full blown disgusting STD. I don't blame him for being scared and upset, but I'm so embarrassed, and now he will probably never want to touch me again.
He says he wants to get "checked", but I realize there are NO tests available for men and HPV because men are the carriers of it and it VERY VERY rarely has any affects on them at all, and it also is cleared by the immune system after some time.
I want to know what a primary physician would be likely to say to him when he goes in for an appointment and explains the situation. Have any men been in this situation before? What have your doctors told you about it?
It seems there are many differing facts out there (even by medical professionals), and I'm scared they are going to make it out to be something absolutely horrible and make me seem dirty and disgusting.
My understanding is HPV is transmitted when it is in active state and not dormant. So if you have no open sores it likely will not transmit, but if you have open sores it is more likely to transmit and it would be best not to engage until they heal. Andy.
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