oral HPV transmission, testing, how to start dating

I was diagnosed with HPV in February after having one abnormal HPV-negative PAP result in November. I don't know which strain or strains I tested positive for (I'm going to call my doctor's office tomorrow to ask). When I was diagnosed, I thought my boyfriend and I would be together for a while, so I wasn't too worried about having HPV, even though I had to undergo cervical cryotherapy and my boyfriend had to get treatment for warts (after all, we were getting cared for, and we had already shared the infection).

Now that I've been single for three months, I have been overwhelmed with worry about transmitting HPV to other people. I know that even with condoms, I can't safely have sex (vaginal or anal) or fool around with anyone (and by "fool around" I mainly mean oral sex). I also am worried that I probably have an active infection in my mouth (my ex and I had a lot of oral sex), which would mean that I can't even (open mouth) KISS anybody without putting them at risk.

My gyno won't perform any anal or oral HPV tests because he says the risk of cancer is low and I don't need to worry about it. But... I can't bring myself to risk putting someone else in this situation. And my fear of meeting guys [and having to avoid contact/tell them about my HPV without them running away] is becoming a serious problem.

I was considering looking for a clinic that would perform an oral test, but found another topic on this site  (here: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Positive-HPV-test---whats-next/show/641543 ) where a doctor answered a question by saying that getting tested for Oral HPV isn't a great idea - maybe he just meant in that situation, but what about my situation? I'm afraid of dating and flirting and letting guys buy me drinks, because I think having to turn away from somebody I might like will hurt more than being alone. (yes, this part may sound somewhat juvenile & like a question out of teen magazine column, but I'm starting to feel as crazy as a teenager again).

I also can't seem to find any straight-forward, clear answers about whether or not I'm still likely to transmit HPV to others when my tests start coming back "negative" because my body has "cleared" the infection. Will I seriously NEVER be able to get sexually intimate with someone without worrying that I'm going to give them warts? My next PAP is at the end of this month, and I don't know how to present my concerns to my doctor, or what I should hope for in my results (aside from hopefully a healthy cervix).

[loremaster8953]

Hey, this isn't the end of the world. I was right there with you. I asked myself these questions obsessively. I felt like i had the flu because of how stressed and anxious i was. I AM ocd. Needless to say i did A LOT of reading through all that worry. To find that i think you and i have been lied to. Hpv isn't a serious thing. I still go through "episodes" of worry. Like "what if i have anal warts even though i'm not gay and have not had any anal contact".

It's hard for somebody like me, and i can imagine somebody like you too. I'm 6'8", and a very attractive male. I turn the heads of girls all the time. But now, guess what? I have a barrier. I have hpv. I'm not "clean".

I'm sure you're going through something similar. But to your question about oral warts, the acid in your mouth generally makes for an environment that isn't suitable for warts to grow. And if two doctors already said not to worry about it, you probably shouldn't.

i know right now you feel this is a very urgent matter and like you want to get it taken care of immediately. But it's all ok. You're just afraid, as i was, as most people are. The symptoms of this are generally mild. The warts start small then grow, but this takes time. I would just keep an eye on everything. If you see something suspicious go to a doc to get it taken care of or try something at home.
I've been using home freezing kits but it's really taking a toll on the skin tissue down there. So i'll probably wait for it all to heal then go to a doc. I guess to look on the bright side it might be slowing the growth of new warts by destroying the skin. But i'm not really sure.

I know, i know where you're coming from. I feel like i'm germain to the world you're in. You just want to be free and have fun and not worry. You're young, as i am, and you want to use your looks to your advantage in this arena. This one std isn't going to change that.

Because your body will take care of the virus and you can continue on as you have been, or let yourself be changed on the inside. I've personally decided to not have sex anymore. hopefully if i get married my body will have kicked this virus back to hell so my wife won't have to deal with it.

But, just think of the duration this virus generally stays with you. and then think of the duration of time you want to have "good" hair, or a "good" body, or "good" fingernails, so forth. One treatment a month at the doctors doesn't seem too bad. It is just unnerving because this is an *std* and people are afraid of stds. They are like any other virus, just transmitted sexually.

As for your future partners, you have no obligation to tell them. THEY are taking a risk as well, and this std is common common common. 70% of people get hpv, just 8% of them have the strains that cause warts. 1% of all people have genital warts AT ANY GIVEN TIME. This suggests that most people get over it. And when the doc responds he/ she will agree that 90% of people get over genital warts within 2 years.
Just ask him to wear a condom, and you should be fine. As to you thinking there are warts in your mouth it is not likely. It is documented but not likely unless you have a immune disorder. Which means you can make out......if anything happens and you do have sex just ask him to wear a condom. I think your best bet is that.

I know this has been a long response, but it is partly my own therapy. so indulge in my own healing haha. I hope i have been a help to you.
Don't worry!
-Jesse

[CWalker57]

Jesse, thanks for the response.

When my ex started getting warts, we treated them with pure tea tree oil -- he just used a cotton swap to dab some on the wart (avoiding as much of the surrounding healthy tissue as possible), put a band-aid on it overnight, and that was enough to burn up his warts so that they fell out and the surrounding tissue healed. Maybe you would have better luck with that home treatment?

I've had the Gardasil vaccine, and I'm actually starting to wonder if maybe his warts could have been caused by a strain of HPV that I was vaccinated against... because I didn't get any warts, I got low-grade lesions on my cervix (cervical dysplasia) and a lot of what I'm reading online seems to suggest that most strains of HPV either cause warts OR intraepithelial neoplasia, mostly not both. I'm also not worried about *warts* in my mouth, but moreso of having cells that are "invisibly" infected (on a cellular level) and the possibility of mucus membrane-to-mucus membrane contact transmitting the infection.

I really do appreciate your response, but I have to disagree with you when you say that we've been lied to, and that HPV isn't a serious thing. While most cases may not be life-threatening, the painful cryosurgical procedure I had to go through and the amount of money it would have cost me if I didn't have medical insurance are very serious. I would feel like a horrible person If I knowingly spread HPV to somebody who doesn't have the resources to get any symptoms they might develop taken care of.

I also got copies of all my test results today... the test that my doctor ordered doesn't differentiate between strands, so I just know that I tested positive for "one of the following high-risk strains" (and then it lists more than 10 different numbers)... awesome.

[loremaster8953]

Hey,
First off i apologize for it taking this long to reply. I say hpv isn't a serious thing, in part, to defend and distance myself from feeling anxious. So, your catching wind of my own internalization when is say it's not a serious thing. I had three when i last posted, now i probably have around 12 or so. I stopped treating them myself, and will be going to a dermatologist from now on. I will try tea tree oil though :) I haven't yet attempted that. I appreciate it. The cryosurgery was a bit painful (had 2 cryo treatments thus far) but i just wanted/ want to know that progress is being made. So in my mind, the more pain the more its working. May or may not be true.
i understand your concerns and worries regarding the transmission of the warts via oral sex from infected cells.
I would like to get an update on how you're doing. Again i apologize that took so long to reply. Take care, and good luck!