My wife had a complete total hysterectomy (removal of everything) one year ago. We have not had sexual relations for 15 months ever since she was diagnosed with possible female cancer. At the point of diagnosis, she began to shutdown both emotionally and physically toward me. I feel I have lost her. I love her and my children with all my heart. For months now she has told me she is miserable and unhappy and when I try to talk to her she gets angry with me. She harbors so much anger toward me as if she resents me. I breaks my heart. Before all of this we had a very loving, compromising, and affectionate relationship. For months now she would say she feels like curling up in a ball. She has been so distant, only hugs me when I hug her, only allows me to give her a kiss on the cheek and avoids being around me or even acting as if she wants anything to do with me. She says she has absolutely no sex drive. A week ago I found some stuff where she was sending messages back in fourth with a childhood male friend who had visited us a couple times but there were no signs of interest on either part. However the messages back in fourth were of a sexual nature. Now when I asked my wife about them, she got defensive and said she has nothing to hide and it was all a joke. She immediately became nausious and vomiting and has been sick ever since. She tells me its her nerves and while there is peace in the home there is a storm going on inside her. Last week she come home from work and crushed my world. She announced that the marriage was over that she had filed for divorce. She took a few clothes and the kids and went next door to her mothers. I have pleaded and begged her and she says she feels nothing for me and does not love me anymore. I asked if she had cheated or if there was someone else and she stated no. She has never been one to lie to me. My world is crashing down around me, I love her more than life itself. I found just two days ago that she is behind on our home, cars, credit card loans and we are in deep financial trouble along with facing this divorce that I do not want. I went to bank and found that the problems with the bills began about 6 months ago. Before that time, she was very thrifty with our finances. She is acting, dressing and doing things uncharacteristic of her. It looks as if she has lost her soul. When I cry to her about not wanting this divorce, she looks uncaring and if she doesnt really care. I do not want this. Is there anyone out there that has had something similar happen as a result of this surgery. She is only 32. We've had a very good relationship but there is no such thing as the perfect relationship. She blames me for her unhappiness and has nothing nice to say about me. It's breaking my heart and devestating me and my 4 year old son.
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