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Hysterectomy and Separation
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Hysterectomy and Separation

Hi All,

This may be an odd question, but I am looking for advice or if anyone has gone through this.

My wife had a radical hysterectomy in March 2012 for cervical cancer. They left bothnovaries.After the healing process, they advised her she needed approximately six weeks of daily radiation treatments, and one internal a week. This, of course, killed the ovaries and sent her into menopause. The Doctor's did not put her on any hormone replacements during or after. She still is not. Her Naturopathic Doctor gave her an herbal tincture that she took for approximately a month during the radiation. It was supposed to kick the adrenal gland into producing estrogen?

We have always had some marital cracks, we argue, not alot, maybe a major one every month or so, but, we have hd a very loving and trustful marriage, just the usual things, "He doesnt do enought laundry"..."She nags me to do all the laundry"...Anyways, during the surgery and recovery, our marriage and outlook on life together was at an great level. however, after the radiation, I noticed a difference in my wife. She was back, but, not 100% back. She had less interest in us, in doing things together.... She began to want to go to bed earlier in January, and started saying she hd to drag her butt out of bed even after 8-10 hours of sleep. However, day to day life went on, in a loving home. Then in early Marh, she told me she was leaving, felt our marriage was broken, could not be fixed. She has told me she is completely unhappy in her life, no joy, is constantly physically and mentally tired, has trouble quieting her mind, etc. she feels the marriage is a major part of this.

My wife is a very type A personality, take charge, confident and will confront. I. A matter of 2-3 months she went from this to only envisioning negative things about our marriage, and instead of talking or confronting me or talking to friends and family, kept it to herself and made a decision to leave. She states her mind tells her it is the right decisn for her.

Has anyone ever experienced this after a hysterectomy and treatments? While we don't have the picture perfect marriage, we were loving and have been together 15 years, and in 2-3 months she has become completely unhappy and us left, with no effort to reconcile. It all seems too coincidental.

Thanks very much.
2 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi.
I'm sorry to hear about all that.
Just to share, my mom had TAHBSO (removal of uterus, ovaries, and fallopian tubes) last year.
Right after which, maybe I just didnt notice any change because I spent the little time at home and mostly I'm in school.
Its just this march that she started getting annoying, nagging, too much of a perfectionist, gets mad at the littlest things, and she is in a misunderstanding with my dad and she wouldn't hear him out because she believes she's correct. This is the longest misunderstanding they had. She sometimes thinks her life is, I dont know, miserable maybe?

And I also have a friend who's mom is in an induced menopause. I guess they're injecting something in her too and my friend constantly complains that her mom is psychotic and all that. That her mom would (I guess you can call it this) 'backstab' her to her grandparents, criticize her, tell her she's good for nothing.

All those treatments your wife is getting may be affecting her emotionally, mentally, and physically. Especially that she is in menopause, there are hormonal imbalances that will also contribute to her outlook, mood, etc. Have you tried talking to her? why she feels that way? what both of you can try to fix it? maybe she should go to a psychologist too so you both can get an advice.

God Bless!

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Avatar_f_tn
Yes, what the above posted said is true. Chemo and having a complete hysterectomy can make your wife not herself. I understand that she can not take hormones but I'm wondering if she can take Black Cohosh. It's a natural supplement and can be bought over the counter. Your wife needs to check with her Dr before trying anything. Many women do very well on this supplement.
Would it be possible to talk to your wife about counseling?
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st. louis, MO