hysterectomy

My wife has had a full hysterectomy in july 2012 thiss was done by herself with no talk between me or her and now it is causing major strain in our relationship . We don't touch each other the trust has gone I believe the surgeon never gave her any options and the hysterectomy was totaly unnecessar
y. What can I do

[AnnieBrooke]

Stop being mean to your wife.  Do you love her?  Do you want to be with her?  If the surgeon fooled her, why take it out on her?

[PurpleLush07]

It sounds like its more to the story u are not telling they don't just do a full hysterectomy for no reason. A lot of times when woman have to have this done they start feeling lesser of a woman and are is a depressed like state. U just need to stop being selfish and be more intuitive to how she may be feeling instead of thinking about ** I'm gonna be blunt what ur penis needs. Id say get ur self some help and be more supportive towards ur wife.

[Jwconforti]

Wow, not sure where to start...

Your question sounds more like you placing blame..though for what I don't know.  She had a hysterectomy without talking to you about it? I find that highly unlikely.  That is a very scary surgery, a very big decision for any woman to make and I don't think any woman would have that kind of surgery without a good reason.  I know that no insurance would pay for it without a good reason, and no surgeon would perform it without a good reason.  

If you weren't there in the room with her and the surgeon, if you didn't hear why this happened or what the purpose was, how can you judge?  This wasn't an abortion, where a part of the child was yours and you should have had a say...this is her body, 100%.

It sounds like you weren't exactly supportive of this...perhaps she is resentful of your attitude during this hard time.  Perhaps she is depressed and her hormones aren't steady yet.  You do realize that most of women's hormones come from their reproductive organs?  Take that away and you have to get your hormones from an outside source.

Why has the trust gone?  Has she betrayed you? How? Her doctor told her she needed surgery, and I'm sure that they gave her a good reason whether she told you or not. She had the surgery. YOU believe something else.  How is that her problem?  Why don't you try being supportive, kind, understanding, and once you've been at that for the same amount of time you've been judgmental, suspicious, demanding, or expectant, perhaps then you can ask her to give you the reason WHY she had the hysterectomy and not how she could do this without getting your permission.

[AnnieBrooke]

unknown515, perhaps you should come back and clarify why this is making you angry with your wife.  Why is it making you angry at all, why do you blame the doctor, and if you blame the doctor, why are you angry at your wife?  This is hard to understand.

[Mich1111]

I laugh at the men that come on and blame the wife or basically are coming on because they aren't getting sex as much anymore. My God, I wish men remotely understood what this is like for a woman. So selfish.