i belong to most of the pregnancy forums and this always seem to be a heated subject when someone brings it up. i know it frazzles me as well. what if there was a forum for those who are seeking information on abortions? so that it's not upsetting to those who are ttc and are pregnant? or are just against abortions?
Seems like a good idea in theory; however, you see how quick those "against" abortion jump on the posts as is and seem to gravitate from other forums once the word gets out there is a post about it.
Now imagine a location where there would be nothing but condemnation and you would never get any traffic except for those who choose to take part in a debate.
The best idea is to actually answer the posts respectfully and if you cannot muster it, ignore it. Abortion does fall into the pregnancy category even if a person morally objects to it. This has been a point of contention on here for a long time and in all honesty it is something that seems unlikely to change anytime soon.
Just be kind, that is all anyone can ask. If you cannot muster a nice or helpful response, pm someone who can (Peekawho is a great suggestion).
Of course now I will be interested to see what MH says ;-)
I think they need a separate place to go. As a mother who lost her child due to a heart condition that the last thing I want to is hear about someone who is willing to give up their baby. I also found great offense to these post when I was ttc.
Just like it is there right to have an abortion it is my right to tell them I think it is wrong.If they had a separate forum, I think it would only be visited by people having abortions or people considering it so I seriously doubt it would cause the same anger as on pregnancy forums. Sorry, Andij I just don't agree with you there.
This forum is not about morality, it is a medical forum. I understand the discomfort, I lost 5 pregnancies in the course of my journey into motherhood, however, it is not up to members here to shove others aside into a corner of the world because they morally object to something these women have a legal right to do.
We do not walk in their shoes, we cannot and should not make these decisions for them. Ignore the post when it comes up, it is that simple. No one has to open a thread to read it.
The suggestion I made so many months ago (see the link above) was specifically for a *recovery* forum, rather than an *abortion* forum. In other words, for those women who have already had one, but now have questions about their recover, whether it be physical or emotional recovery.
The fact of the matter is that abortion is an invasive medical/surgical procedure, and requires physical recovery. It is also, in many cases, something that turns emotionally traumatic or depressing for the woman after she has had it done.
I'm not referring to the women who come to the pregnancy forums and ask about their "options" with abortion, or are considering it, etc. but rather the ones who have had it done already and are simply seeking an answer to a question, or support for the regret they feel, and instead get attacked by women who call them murderers and accusations of "how could you do that?" Oftentimes, the posters of such questions never come back to MH, and who knows if all they needed was a place to say how they're feeling or a genuine concern about a recovery that may have gone so badly that their health is at risk?
I actually got a PM about this subject of creating an abortion recovery forum from someone working with MH. I don't know if MH has changed their minds about this forum since I received this message months ago, but this is the gist of what the message said to me.
Concerning an Abortion Recovery forum, MedHelp has looked into it, and won't do it.
What was found were two websites, somewhat similar to MedHelp (though not as big), who have had similar types of forums, and had added an abortion forum. What happened was total chaos. When things got going, somehow Right to Life groups got wind of it and sent hundreds of protest emails, and when that didn't work, started letter writing campaigns that inundated the owners of the sites with thousands of pieces of mail, hate mail, and then phone calls, death threats, etc. Both sites folded as a result.
So although such a forum could be a good idea, MH is not willing to risk it.
Since I received this message, and have basically concluded that there will be no Abortion Recovery forum or anything similar, I choose not to be offended by not reading or responding to those posts. I know there are others on this site who could offer far more compassionate and genuinely helpful information than I could if I feel offended, so I figure I'll just leave it to them.
There is no rule that women CAN'T post a question about abortion, and there is no rule that anyone MUST respond to them.
I'd rather have the MedHelp site around for all the other wonderful things it has to offer, than to know it's at risk of shutting down due to extensive hate mail, phone calls, death threats, etc. The fact of the matter is that over zealous pro-life and right-to-life people/groups will seek out such forums just to stir up trouble. They will, which is really disappointing, because there lies an opportunity to really reach out to women to help them and countless unborn children through compassion and understanding, whether it be by convincing them not to do it, or by those who have had it done to councel other women about it who may be more likely to take them seriously because they have "been there."
There's a lot of opportunity for healing and saving many little lives through such a forum, but instead what's more likely to happen is people, both pro-life and pro-choice, will let their offenses and objections blind them to such opportunities.
I think it's a great idea. I had an abortion a little less than a year ago and would have loved a place to ask questions like why I was lactating and what I could do to make the next round of miso work (I had to do three because there was a chunk of tissue that just didn't want to leave).
An Abortion community has been suggested a few times, but we have decided not to create one. This decision is not based on an opinion one way or the other on the topic, but simply we don't feel the community would be helpful to anyone based on the history we have seen on other sites, as well as abortion related posts on MedHelp. For now, these should probably be posted in the Women's Health forum, where we keep an eye on them.
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