Infidelity User Group
Heaven on a stick
About This Group:

For those who have been a victim of an affair and are trying to get their life back on track. This group can discuss the feelings and emotions behind it and also support those who are trying to recovery from it.

Founded by mami1323 on October 7, 2009
85 members
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Heaven on a stick

Hi everyone hope the last few days have been going well.My partner of 6 months moved in on Saturday and Ron is as usual one of the most gentle kind and adorable people I have ever met.

To day Tuesday his Sister and Brother  in Law called in on the way back to Adelaide SA, and his sister is just like Ron.

But most importantly she explained that Ron has always has this wonderful nature but alas his ex wife liked to play around.

I feel so blessed to have met the man I have always dreamed of meeting.

Its funny that we have so much in common as at our age we are set in our ways... but it does not matter as its all for the good as now we appreciate each other more.

I am agnostic but it seems I was put through the mill to deserve true happiness in the last 15 to 20 yrs of my life.
Partnership in marriage or a relationship  must cover so many area's and one of the most important is being each others best friend first that is the solid foundation to build on.

Being there for each other in times of need and distress is paramount I think.

What I have got to accept is learning to be truly happy again will take that bit of time as all I feel is relief .
Forgotten what true joy feels like also getting out of habit of waiting for the kick in the guts that inevitably appears no matter what .

Where is the proof that it ever existed as the media mainly reports on murder and mayhem happy things do not make news.
The media controlled new generation is fed a diet of misery,cynicism and dog eat dog.I dread to think about the future  as  how will  this impact on the way  they  think and act now and into future. Scary is not the word for it.

Gee  I hope I am way out with my observations,I have talked about this before ! someone please say I am wrong.
7 Comments
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Avatar_f_tn
I am sorry to say I agree with you. The eyes are the lamp to the soul. What you allow in and think about soon becomes second nature to you. Joe and I were very strict when our 3 older children were little on what we allowed them to listen to and view but when Josh came along and we were older and both working, busy with the others, we let our guard down. We allowed him to watch things the other  children were not allowed ( violent cartoons and such ) There is such a difference in his attitude and behavior compared to the others. Look at the movies out today they all deal with lying cheating stealing and this is usually the hero or heroin in the movie! We wonder why we are in such a mess!

I am so happy for you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Joe and I are doing much better now. Thank you for your encouragement. It really helped me lift myself out of the hole I was digging.
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Avatar_m_tn
Ive got a general observation about child rearing today compared to the good old days.  To me, it seems as if we were allowed to learn a few more things on our own....learn the consequences by making a mistake and learning what needed to happen to correct the errors.  Im not so sure that todays children fully know that there are consequences to every action.... I think alot of todays parents are too quick to rush in to help their kids...solve their problems for their children.

Here in my little community, there is a big sense of entitlement amongst a large percentage of the populace.  Most of these folks are more affluent, financially secure....and not that they dont appreciate and honest days pay for an honest days work, they also rely upon the money that their parents have set aside in trust funds for them.

Child rearing, regardless of which generation we are speaking of, is no easy task.  I try to look back at the days of my great grandparents.  Theres so much technology that has made life so much easier today, but in contrast to that...things we used to have to do for ourselves are already done for us.....(My great grand dad had to milk his own damn cows... churn his own butter....hand scrub your clothing...make your own furniture)  

You often read in novels of going back to a simpler time.  For me I'd guess that would be childhood or adolesence.... I had no worries, no bills, no health issues...  But going back in time the the era that my great grandparents came from obviously wasnt simpler. These folks in small communities had to govern themselves so to speak....and they survived.  I dont know....maybe we arent letting our kids learn from our mistakes and their own mistakes anymore.....
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1388999_tn?1370046414
Oh boy don't get me started on this.In the tree yrs I was dating and making new friends
one thing I noticed was that just about 100% of their children from teenagers to young adults only ever called when they wanted something,never just to say hi how are you going and I love you.
                               It was the parents that did the calling mainly, it seems there is no such thing as kicking out of nest,the parents are there to provide still .These are the married ones or ones that have moved out.

More and more of the singles are staying at home bludging off the parents.Treating the home like a hotel and paying next to nothing for the privilege.

This is in Australia I do not know what it is like in the rest of the world but I do know that there seems no end to it here.

OK who is to blame ??? My opinion is the parents as they have to start saying NO because if they don't there will be a whole new generation of dysfunctional young adults who have no idea how to budget, cook, run a household and take responsibility for their actions let alone bring up their own children when the time comes.
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Avatar_m_tn
I agree with you 100% that its the fault of the parents!  It is dysfunctional for all of the reasons you mentioned as well.  Here in my community, it is the "trust funders" that are extremely dysfunctional.  They never have had to work or pay bills, because mommy and daddy always have, and these are the people that have this entitlement thing I was talking about in my above post.

These people dont work for a living, so they have nothing to do all day except to be in other peoples business.  While mommy and daddy pay the bills, these do-nothings either fish or enter local politics.  They havent a real grasp of reality here.  This used to be primarily a blue collar/ranching community that had the benefit of being a resort town as well.  That is no longer the case.  WE have ultra rich, seasonal, 2-3 home owners and they are calling the shots.  This isnt the old sleepy town it used to be.  Everything around here has changed, and the very idelas that have brought these people here are now gone.  They came here for the small town feel and small town politics....but are doing everything they can to make this place the place they left behind.
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1306053_tn?1323957610
Hey!  Where did everyone go?  Brice and I are still having our ups and downs - but more ups than downs - so it's all good.  

I hope everyone else is doing ok!
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145992_tn?1341348674
I'm still here.  I check in now and then to see if anyone is posting.  I've been very busy.  I've been working on writing a blog about my journey with infidelity.  So I will let you know when that's ready to go.  Those ups and downs will go on for awhile.  As long as they are getting less frequent than it sounds like things are getting better.  Good luck with everything and keep up the good work.
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Avatar_f_tn
I Check daily but nothing new lately. We are doing well, a week of all ups so far so that is good, Downs with the kids being ill but everything else good.
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