Infidelity User Group
Quiet
About This Group:

For those who have been a victim of an affair and are trying to get their life back on track. This group can discuss the feelings and emotions behind it and also support those who are trying to recovery from it.

Founded by mami1323 on October 7, 2009
87 members
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Quiet

Entering this holiday season, I hope all are happy and healthy.  The board is quiet, and I know that everyone has about 1000 things happening all at once.....  but for crying out loud!  Somebody say something!  Anything!

(Sorry to sound so desperate.... things are good here)
10 Comments
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Avatar_f_tn
So, where's DeeDee?? - She's been quiet for a long time.  
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Avatar_m_tn
Hey Tink, thanks for asking about her.  She's been busy at work and she still has a bit of a hard time reading and responding to some of the posts here.  She's getting back to a place where she can be the take charge person she is in both her professional and personal lives, so really she is doing great!!

Things are plugging along in a positive fashion.  Were still doing our personal therapy and couples therapy sessions, doing a bunch of reading still, and learning alot.  I know that I am learning alot.  (Would have been far easier to start learning this long ago)

Hope all is well with you!  
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I know how she feels, there are some posts I just have to ignore. But things are great here. I have had to learn to get my priorities in line. Learning to say no and putting my family first. IT helps alot.
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1388999_tn?1370046414
Hello... everything is good in Aus I agree sometimes it is hard to deal with a lot of the pain on here.
The thing that stands out is the identical feelings and the hurt that cheating brings  to a partnership.It just keeps reminding us of our own devestating pain that we went though. Not a good thing for couples who are trying to sort things out.

Apart from Brice I believe that there should be another forum for the partner that cheated .... its impossible to get any understanding on this one as we are the ones who have been cheated on and there is the real danger that we will not give any support,just attack and take our frustrations  on them and as we have seen drive them away.... not good, there are not many like you Brice that takes everything that is thrown at them. (brave indeed)

HEY BRICE here's a job for you! call it something like MY CHEATING HEART  or FOR CHEATERS ONLY hopefully to keep us and our anger away ...it would be good to maybe see why this happens from another perspective.Help us understand a bit better how thier minds tick and if there was a trigger or a reason why they did it in the first place .... we all know that the cheated on in about fifty per cent of cases is not completly blameless for this to happen in the first place.

Just a thought.
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1306053_tn?1323957610
Hey Tink!  Thanks so much for asking about me.  Brice is right, I'm still struggling with some of my 'stuff' and it's hard to be on here.  My therapist actually had me spend 5 nights out of the house this past week, just to help me get focussed and force m to relax a little.  It seems to have helped me get a little more grounded, but I am SO HAPPY to be back home!  

BTW Seeanna, Brice did start a forum called "Cheaters" and had little or no response.  I think most are not as eager to share as he is.  They use their shame and embarrassment as a cloak to hide under, and consequently, I'm afraid their marriages go by the way side.  

I'm so glad Brice decided to 'Man Up' and work through this together, even though it has meant revealing his darker side to the whole world.  

I know how lucky I am!  
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1388999_tn?1370046414
I think we all have two side to some degree, but Brice has my complete respect as he is one of the few guys who had the sheer guts to say I cheated  I am sorry I was wrong   and  I wont do that again.

Do you know how rare that is  in a male  ?  fact ...Brice is the first guy I have seen to be brave enough to take responsibility for his actions.

And tell you what DeeDee I know he wont do that again as he has faced up to his actions.
It is still affecting him somewhat as well.

I think he was struck down with the realisation that he has hurt his little family so much.
I sincerely hope that you can forgive him completly because what you both have faced together is something that not many couples go through and it will cement your relationship forever as it has brought out how deeply you love each other.

All I know is you both are very decent people and you deserve   every bit of happiness and love you can get out of this life .

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Avatar_m_tn
Hope your holiday season was all you expected.  We had a great one here in the states!

About starting a forum concerning this side of affairs, I tried and have had little success with it.  It was called Cheaters, and I clearly stated that it was a place for the cheaters to tell their side of things and perhaps help others through the rough roads that lie ahead.

I had a response or 2.... in fact one lady.... cant remember who she was offered her opinion, but felt so strongly against cheating that she removed her comments a day or so later.  She by no means was offensive, but she didnt have the time to try to understand the other side.  (Not that I am expecting anyone to understand, but I think there is possibly a lot to learn on both sides of the story.)

I know full well how an affair can destroy marriages, families, friendships.... I am experiencing all of that and then some.  But the fact of the matter is, I am trying my tail off to fix everything and am greatful that I have the chance to do so.  Not only that, I am greatful for the advice, opinions, and and other viewpoints I have recieved here from good folks like you.

Take care...
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145992_tn?1341348674
Hey all, sorry I've been MIA.  Things for me and Richie have been wonderful.  We've really made it very far.  We have planned to get married June of this year, he has been very affectionate and loving and I've become a lot more trusting.  I still have my days but we are actually able to openly talk about the affair without me getting upset about it.  Never thought I would get there but I am.  He's even considering writing on my blog and talk about his point of view and why he cheated.  So I think we're doing great.  It does take a long time to get here so DeeDee don't worry.  You will get there as well.  Trust me when I say that.  If Brice is working hard at winning back your heart, you will find yourself dealing with the affair better.  Miss talking to you all, just know I'm not far and do drop in from time to time.
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This is great news!!!!!! I am so happy for you!
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145992_tn?1341348674
Thanks honey, you were always very supportive.  I'm glad to hear things are going well with you also.  I think 2011 will be our year ;)
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