For those who have been a victim of an affair and are trying to get their life back on track. This group can discuss the feelings and emotions behind it and also support those who are trying to recovery from it.
What is it that makes us want to help others who are hurting as much as we are, it is predominantly a trait in the female although a few insightful males have it in them as well.
Is it because we are nurturers by nature ? From the moment I meet someone I can sense it.I believe it shows in their eyes..... the windows to the soul.
Because some of us are like this I think we are less likely to Cheat and Hurt our partner.In fact how many of us who have been Cheated on have had an affair or even a one night stand.?
Have any of you retaliated and have slept with someone else after you have found out about it.
I have a theory....... it has been proven that children from broken homes have a history of problems in later life as they turn to drugs, drink and mental problems.Is this what stops us... an innate sense of duty of care.
I believe that we have strong urge in us to keep the family together with happiness and love and give each other strength to forgive and move on.
I strongly believe that on this little forum we have helped others start to achieve this ! Mami you started this!! my Angel I hope you know how much we appreciate you for that.
It is such a shame we are spread far and wide as I am getting so fond of you all.
That is an interesting question! I would venture to say that women in general have that "mother's instinct" which almost makes them natural helpers/healers. Women are far more insightful than men in general, and I think women are far better at allowing themselves to be in touch with their feelings.
For me, there has always been a very small part of me that would be willing to help in situations like this. The flip side to that is, if an old lady has a flat tire, I am and have always stopped to help....but with emotional things, I always detached myself from the situation. I guess I figured that I had enough problems of my own and I didnt need to rush in to help or take on anyone else's problems. I also was very quick to judge people in situations like these. (I infact have been judged by a family friend who is a chronic cheater.... she has cheated quite a few times, but is apparently not interested in committing the act right now, and said that she would never cheat....but she has numerous times...)
Having subjected my wife Dee Dee to this horrible experience, I feel it is necessary to want to help. Knowing that this is the worst thing that I could have done, and going through the process of trying to heal the relationship, I have learned so much about the healing process. Some of the more important aspects of the healing process I have learned right here, from some great people like you Seeanna! I feel as if I can be helpful by relaying the information I have picked up through reading and my own therapy sessions, not to mention some of my life experiences. And being the guilty party, I all of a sudden thought it was neessary to get my side of things out there for others to consider. ( I knew I wasn't going to be the most well respected individual here, but thought I could offer my opinion and recieve the other side of the story here as well)
I have learned a lot about compassion. I guess I always had some level of compassion, but this experience has made me more aware of things in general. By offereing my experiences, I guess I fell as if I am giving back a lille...maybe.
I really do not want anyone to ever have to go through this stuff. It's the worst. Looking into the eyes of the woman I love and seeing so much pain, so much grief, is almost more than I can take. But I remain here/there because WE are worth it.
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